Drifting Away
by keejay
Summary: After Jacob imprints on Leah, Bella feels defeated and doesn't want to go on any longer. In comes Embry, who shakes up her world and teaches her how to love herself.
1. Prologue

_**A/N** : Hello, everyone! I have a new story to share with you, titled Drifting Away. It is going to be an emotional rollercoaster, but one that is worthwhile. I hope you all enjoy it. Review or PM me what you all think! I will accept any form of criticism, as long as it is respectful. Okay, now onto the story!_

* * *

Prologue.

* * *

 _Bella's POV._

Leah and Jacob's two-bedroom home was decked out in Christmas decorations and a table full of food. Paul sat in the middle chair on the left side, sipping a glass of Apple cider that he had poured some rum into when no one was looking. Rachel's hand skimmed up and down his thigh every now and then, much to her brother's annoyance. Riley sat on the other side of Paul, taking turns kissing Rachel and Paul's cheeks.

Kim and Jared were in their own little world, whispering to each other and rubbing her swelling stomach. Seth, Bree, Brady, and Collin watched Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer in the living room, giggling to each other quietly as Claire napped on the couch. Quil told bad joke after bad joe to Jessica, Sam, and Emily, whose faces were a mix of happiness and confusion.

Jacob cut the ham as Leah looked on proudly, serving everyone politely even when he just wanted to stuff his face. It was nice to see a smile on her face after all that had happened. Embry's arm rested on the back of my chair, and his lips pressed against the side of my head tenderly. I could never get tired of that.

"Merry Christmas, Bella."


	2. Chapter One: Broken Trust

_**A/N** : The prologue was short, but this chapter is a bit longer, so I hope you enjoy it. Bella may seem a bit OC, but I am trying my best to show her mental illness and how far she has lost herself. If any of you are feeling depressed or suicidal, or just need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. The National Suicide Hotline is: 1-800-273-8255. Okay, I hope you all enjoy this first chapter! Review and tell me what you think!_

 **WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter One.

* * *

My heart was racing; my vision was blurry. The whole universe was crashing down around me.

I was having a panic attack.

When I was younger I used to have them frequently, but as I grew older they stopped almost completely.

Then he left, and everything changed.

I could hardly catch my breath, and my brain seemed on autopilot. Everything was falling apart at the seams and all I could do was wait it out until I calmed down again. If I calmed down again.

Hanging out with Jacob had helped for a while, but then he left too, and I was back to square one.

Another crushing blow for Bella Swan. Life: 2, Bella: 0.

Life seemed to be looking up after I figured out Jacob's secret, and he and I started to hang out again. My best friend, my one confident who never judged me when I fell off the deep end.

But then he left me too.

Leah Clearwater, a gorgeous native who had lost her boyfriend of four years to her cousin. Leah, a spitfire beauty queen. Leah, Jacob's equal in every way after she phased into a wolf that matched his size and speed.

Leah, his soulmate.

Jacob cast me to the side and now lived in harmony with her, while I sit on the bathroom floor with tears dripping down my cheeks and my nails digging into my palms so hard that they bled.

Why did I have to get that stupid paper cut at that birthday party? Edward would have never left, I would have never gotten close to Jacob.

I would be at the mall with Alice or playing video games with Emmett. I would be listening to Jasper's war stories or reading beside Carlisle in his study. I would be learning new recipes with Esme or falling asleep as Edward played with my hair and hummed my lullaby.

I would be in heaven.

A sob escaped from my mouth and I but my lip tightly, hoping Charlie hadn't heard me.

But unfortunately for me, he had. A small tap on the door later, and his gruff voice said. "You okay in there, Bells?" My heart clenched pathetically at the nickname. Jacob used to call me that, but now he probably called Leah something like Lee or Lee Lee.

"Yeah, dad. I'm fine."

"I thought I heard you crying."

"Yeah, I stubbed my toe on the tub. Hurt pretty bad."

"Okay, just making sure you were okay." When his footsteps disappeared, and his bedroom door shut, my shoulders slumped in relief and my nails dug into the skin of my arms as I tried to calm down. Charlie couldn't find out, I couldn't worry him anymore. I had done that enough these past five months.

I had to be strong for him. He was all I had now. My mother had cast me aside for Phil, and Edward and Jacob had abandoned me. I was all alone except for Charlie.

My heart started to slow down as my fingernails drew blood, and I welcomed the pain that anchored me. With a grateful sigh, I pulled out my nails and pulled my sleeves back down.

Was this what my life had come to, hurting myself? I never thought I would be the type of person to do this, but the relief it gave me was almost too good to pass up.

With care, I washed my hands and dried them with a towel before exiting the bathroom and going back to my room. My head hit the pillow and my body cocooned in the purple comforter. For now, I was okay.

I feared by morning that another attack would take place, but for now, I rested. For once my dreams weren't nightmares, and I slept peacefully.

* * *

The next morning was a rush since I hadn't set my alarm, and I left the house without eating. My head was a mess, and during class, I slipped my hand up my sleeve to leave more marks on my skin to help my restless mind.

At one-point blood had made me want to throw up, but now it excited me. If there was blood, it would no doubt hurt. And if it hurt, I was thinking about the pain and not them.

"You okay, Bella? You look a little out of it." Angela whispered quietly into my ear during lunch. Mine consisted of a bottle of water, and I sipped it slowly.

"I'm fine." _Save me_ , my inner voice thought. _Save me._

"If you need to talk, I'm here for you." All I could do was nod.

The bell rang, and my next class started.

Bad thoughts filled my mind, and I imagined what it would be like to cliff dive again.

My body smacking against the cold water, my neck snapping at the impact.

I dug my nails into my arms again, biting my lip to keep in a hiss of pain.

 _Cliff diving, cliff diving, cliff diving._

I would go this weekend when Charlie was out. I'd leave him a note.

My body was on autopilot for the rest of the day until I left my last class and escaped out the school doors. The cold seats of the truck calmed me and reminded me of a better time.

Images of choking on the water and drowning wracked my brain as I drove.

A letter for Renee, a letter for Charlie, a letter for Edward, a letter for Alice, a letter for Angela.

A letter for Jacob, I thought grimly.

A goodbye to all the wonderful people who had touched my heart.

Soon I wouldn't be their problem anymore; I would be free with Grandma and Grandpa Swan, and Grandma Higginbotham.

A smile graced my lips as I pulled into the driveway. Charlie wasn't home.

 _Soon_ , I thought, _soon_.

* * *

Days passed, everything jumbling together until the upcoming Saturday. Charlie was going fishing with Billy and Harry and wouldn't be back until Sunday night, much to my delight. That Friday night I wrote each letter out on special paper with a ballpoint pen, and I set them on the kitchen table for him to find when he returned home.

There wouldn't be a trace of me left, and he wouldn't have to go to the trouble of a funeral.

I would be gone, and the world would keep moving around and around. My family would move on, and so would Angela and Jacob. Edward and Alice probably wouldn't care, but a small part of me hoped they would.

The ride to La Push had me feeling light and airy, and I grinned as I made my way up the cliffs.

As the water crashed down below me I felt excitement bubble in my stomach.

Was I really doing this, killing myself?

The wind picked up and rain peppered my skin, soaking through my clothes.

Yes, I was.

My eyes shut tightly as I stepped forward, right on the edge.

It would all be over soon, and everyone could go on with their lives. They could be happy without me.

Goodbye dad, mom. Alice and Angela. Edward and Jacob. I'll always love you all.

I jumped off, my body fell fast.

But then two strong arms yanked me back up.

My back slammed into the ground and my eyes looked up at the downcast sky. The room was spinning, and all I saw were dark eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing, Bella! What the fuck!" Embry Call, one of Jacob's best friends, stood over me with a furious expression. His hands held me down as he yelled at me, but I was too numb to process.

What was going on? Why was Emby here? His dark eyes stared right through, and his drenched hair stuck to his forehead. He was exuding heat, and I was suffocating.

"You could have died! Charlie would have been devastated! Jacob would have been broken beyond repair! Don't you care?"

"They're better off without me." I fought at his tight hold, trying to escape to finish my plan. This wasn't how it was supposed to go, I was supposed to be dead already. Free.

"Do you even hear yourself? That's bullshit, Bella! You're so full of it!"

"Let me go, please." My anxiety skyrocketed, and my heart pounded against my rib cage. Without warning, I screamed and slammed my head against the ground, sobbing. "I can't take it anymore."

"You can't kill yourself!"

"What do I have to live for anymore?" Tears streamed down my face and into my neck, and my vision grew blurry as I continued to beat my head against the hard ground. Embry removed one of his hands to grab my head, forcing me to stop.

Now with a free hand, I pathetically pulled at his grip on my other arm.

"You have me." He let go to pull me into an embrace, but I ducked underneath him and ran toward the edge of the cliff again. As my body started to fall I felt a calmness fill my body but it was short-lived as Embry yanked me back up, this time crushing me against his chest.

"Let me die! Let me die!" It was all I craved. I had never wanted anything more in my life.

"I'm not letting you die, Bella! You're going to live! You have to live!" All hope left me, and I relaxed my body, crying pathetically toward the ground. "I've got you, it's okay. I'm here." Embry's strong arms cocooned me to his warm body, and it reminded me of Jacob. I cried and cried as he held me, his long fingers running through my hair like Edward's once had. "I'm here, I'm not leaving."

"Please, let me die." I whispered into his shirt.

"Shh, I've got you. I'm not leaving."

Half of me wished that he would, but the other half hoped he'd stay.

I needed someone, anyone to stay. Even as I wanted to end it all, I was still eager for a companion.

How ironic to want to be held tenderly and to want to be thrown off a cliff at the same time.

* * *

"Where are we going?" We had been driving for a while after the ordeal, his jaw tight and shoulders tense. I felt almost meek beside him, shaking and crying in the seat while he drove. I didn't even know if he had a license.

He had carried me down the cliff and placed me into the passenger seat of my truck before getting into the driver's side and driving off.

"Back to your house."

"Why?"

"I'm not leaving you alone."

"You'll have to go home sometime." I muttered bitterly, shoving my hands in my pockets. Once he left I could finish what I started, and everyone would be better for it.

"You'd think that, wouldn't you?"

After a while we finally pulled into my house, and I slowly got out and followed him to the front door. Embry searched the door frame for something until he pulled out and extra key and unlocked the door.

"How do you know where I live and how did you know where the extra key was?"

"I've been here before, Bella. Quil and I used to come over with Jake all the time." I winced and fell back into the couch, holding my chest tightly. Hearing his name made me feel like I was ripping in two.

Seeing my response, he sat down next to me and said. "Sorry, I know you miss him."

"Miss him?" I chuckled darkly, fiddling with a loose strand on my jeans. "If you mean feeling like I've been hit by a truck, doused in gasoline, and lit on fire then yeah, I guess you could say I miss him." My voice grew shaky and I felt tears pool in my eyes, but I swallowed a few times to keep from crying again.

I didn't want to cry anymore, I didn't even want to be here anymore. Why couldn't he have let me go, let me find peace? Embry wasn't a mean person; shy and reserved, but never rude.

Maybe this was my punishment for treating everyone so poorly? When I was dating Edward all summer, I barely saw Charlie or my friends from school and never tried to. I barely talked to Renee anymore, and Jacob I used for my own selfish reasons until he forsake me for another.

I lay my head in my hands and breathed in deeply, letting it out in one gust of air.

"Bella, you can't just kill yourself because of Jake and some bloodsucker. You're way better than that." He paused and clicked his tongue before continuing. "Your mom and dad will be broken without you, and so will your friends. And even if he's the reason you're doing this, Jake still cares about you too." It was almost like he was rubbing salt into the wound now. Jake still cared about me? That's great, but he left me for someone better. Same as Edward. I was unlovable.

"Charlie has Billy and Harry and Renee has Phil, my friends will move on and so will Jacob. He's happy and in love with Leah now." Our eyes met, and I started to sob, my heart going haywire in my chest and my stomach right like a knot. "Embry, I'm better off dead. I've done all I can do here. My life doesn't make an impact on anyone, so what's the use anymore?" "It makes an impact on me."

"You're just saying that! You don't even know me!" I rose to my feet and screeched at him, wiping some tears off my cheek with my sleeve.

"I don't need to know you to know that you deserve to live, Bella!" Embry's warm arms wrapped around me again and held me tight against his chest, but I held in the cries that threatened to escape. "I'm not leaving you until I make you understand how much you existing means to the world."

"You'll be here forever if you do that."

"If that's what it takes." As he held me in his arms I felt my eyes start to droop on their own accord, exhaustion from the day filling my body.

The last thing I remember was Embry humming a calming tune in my ear and his fingers running through my hair.


	3. Chapter Two: Worse Than I Realized

_**A/N** : Hello, my lovely readers! Here is chapter two, and I hope you all enjoy it! You get a little insight into Embry's head here, and there will be more from him in later chapters. If you enjoy this please or have any questions or comments, review or PM me and tell me what you think! The National Suicide Hotline is: 1-800-273-8255, and I am always free to listen and be a friend if any of you need someone! Remember, you aren't alone!_

 **WARNING: GRAPHIC SCENES AND MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Two.

* * *

The living room was silent when I awoke, but the smell of fried chicken engulfed my senses and had my mouth instantly watering. It had been so long since I've eaten anything other than an apple at lunch and the smell had me salivating in my spot.

"Oh, you're awake. You hungry?" Embry's voice caught me off guard as he stepped into the living room, a grin on his face. All I could do was nod lightly, stripping off the jacket and the shoes that I still wore before following him into the kitchen.

The table was set for two, both with steaming cups of coffee and two plates plum full of fried chicken and mashed potatoes and country gravy. My stomach growled loudly and without another thought I quickly sat down, shoving the food into my mouth.

"Damn, Bella. When's the last time you ate?" He questioned, sitting down in his seat next to me. I shrugged but didn't answer, my taste buds exploding. Where did he get this from? "I found some chicken I'm the freezer and some potatoes, so I just whipped something up. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. Oh my gosh, this is so good. Where did you learn to cook like this?"

"Enjoy it, you deserve it."

In minutes I had devoured the chicken and moved on to the potatoes. Embry was already done by the time I was finished, but that wasn't surprising. Wolves ate a lot.

"You want to take a bath while I clean up down here?" Did he trust me up there alone, even after everything that had happened?

 _This could be your chance_ , a voice said in my head. _Don't lose this chance._

"Y-yeah, I could use a bath." "After you're done we can watch a movie or something. Does that sound good?" I gave a swift nod before exiting the room, quickly jogging upstairs and into the bathroom. I stripped my clothes down, leaving my body bare. My stomach was flat, and you could almost see my ribs. When had I gotten so skinny?

My hands turned the nob and the water until it was warm, and I plugged up the drain.

The razors, where were they? With shaking hands, I looked through the cabinets and drawers, coming up empty every time. No scissors, no razors. Nothing sharp in sight.

Then it dawned on me; this is why he trusted me up here alone. He had already taken all the sharp objects and hid them somewhere. I cried out, hitting my hands on the counter.

 _Stupid Embry, ruining everything! Why couldn't he just let me go?_

Having nothing else to lose, I slid into the tub until the water came to my neck.

 _Soon_ , I thought to myself. He'll have to go home to his mom sometime and I'll be able to get away with it. My eyes closed, and I let the water relax me for now. _Soon_.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

I hid the letters in my pockets and went to work on hiding all of the sharp objects in Charlie's bedroom as soon as she was asleep, knowing they would be safe in there and away from her clutches.

It was by the grace of the spirits that I had caught her in time, pulling her up from the icy, crashing waves below.

Her eyes looked hollow, dead almost, and her body was stick thin. When had she last ate? In these three short weeks after the Jacob and Leah debacle, Bella had slowly started to kill herself.

Thank god I had got to her before she could finish the job.

After fighting me tooth and nail she finally gave up and let me take her back home, where she fought me until she lost herself to her exhaustion. With the letters and sharp objects hidden, I went to work cooking dinner or her.

A warm meal from the heart could heal the soul is what my mom always says, and I took the words to heart. I quickly fried up some chicken I found in the freezer and peeled and cooked some potatoes, mashing them before making some gravy. If my mom had given me one skill, it was cooking.

Bella woke up right as I finished up, and in no time had engulfed her whole plate before retiring for a bath. I knew she wouldn't be able to harm herself in the bathroom, so I let her go alone.

She returned in a white and black long-sleeved baseball tee and black sweatpants, a glare christening her face. With drenched hair, flushed cheeks, and a full belly she looked more animated than she had in weeks. Her chocolate eyes were still dim, but I'd try my hardest bring some light back to them.

We sat together on the couch awkwardly as she clicked through channels before settling on a DCOM about a kid cloning himself. She became invested in the movie and I glanced at her quickly, my pulse rising as she diligently bit her swollen bottom lip. I had seen her do this before, she had been doing it first at Jake's before we all phased and then at Emily's when she found out the secret.

She sure didn't bite her lip when she caught Jake and Leah together. Her face had dropped from an excited smile to heartbreak, and her eyes had filled with tears. They had never officially said that they were together, but it seemed Bella was finally ready to make it official with him. And then he imprints and forgets all about his best friend and former love.

In all honesty, I had expected Leah to fight the imprint since Sam had dumped her when he imprinted on Emily. But she did the exact opposite and left little Bella Swan with nothing.

I had always liked Bella, and she was pretty damn cute. But she had always been Jake's. I guess now that Jake had Leah, I could win her over.

That was the plan when I came over earlier that day, only to find a bunch of suicide notes. My heart had stopped, and I couldn't get my shorts off fast enough before I phased and set off to the Rez. And I had caught her just in time.

It made me sick to think about what would have happened if I hadn't been there.

Bella snored beside me, and the remote slipped out of her hands and onto the floor. She finally looked peaceful.

 _So damn cute._

I turned my eyes from her and looked back to the screen, not really paying attention.

What was I going to do when Charlie got home? I couldn't stay here forever. And I was going to have to tell him what happened with Bella. What she tried to do.

Fuck, this was all so stressful. Why did Jacob have to go off and imprint? Why did that bloodsucker have to mess with her head? Why did Bella have to get the short end of the stick?

It was almost as if life had out a large sign on her chest that said "Unlucky". Well, it was about time the sign came off. If I had anything to do with it, Bella would learn to love life again. She would learn to love herself.

I looked back over at her sleeping face and how cute it was. And maybe she would learn to love me too.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

The next time I opened my eyes I was in my bed, tangled in my comforter and sheets. Rain pounded on the window, and something that sounded like a lawn mower bellowed from my floor.

It turned out to be Embry. With a roll of my eyes, I flopped back onto my bed and covered my head with my blanket.

Why was he still here? Didn't he have a home of his own?

With a sigh of annoyance, I looked over at my alarm clock and groaned. It was only nine in the morning!

No use going back to bed now, I was wide awake and ready for the day.

Out of nowhere a rush of anxiety filled my senses.

I'd have to go through another day of hell. Another day of living.

And all because of the brute on my bedroom floor.

A few seconds passed before the hyperventilating set in; I couldn't catch my breath to save my life, and it felt like I was having a heart attack. Then came the waterworks.

Thick, hot tears sprang from my eyes and flowed like waterfalls.

No, I couldn't do this. Live another useless day on this useless planet. There had to be some way to fix this, make things right.

The bane of my existence took this moment to wake up and ruin my privacy again, and on top of my panic attack, I felt embarrassment. The blanket that covered my face was slowly pulled back, and my eyes my Embry's. They held a deep sadness in them. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"You."

"What?"

"You're what's wrong. You ruined everything for me!"

"I couldn't stand by and let you do that." A sigh left his lips and I grabbed at my chest, taking a sharp breath. "What do you need me to do to help you?"

"Leave me alone!"

"Besides that, Bella." When I didn't answer he sat down on my mattress and took my free hand in his, rubbing circles on the back.

And then he started to hum.

It was a tune I knew so well it stopped me in my tracks. A memory flooded my mind.

 _Four-year-old Bella was sick again, the third time this month. Renee was at her wit's end. The haggard mother rocked her daughter back in forth in her arms, a soft song flooding from her lips._

 _I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life._ _  
_ _I've been waiting for a girl like you, your loving will survive._

 _Little Bella cracked her first smile of the day, and Renee chuckled before kissing her pale forehead.  
_ _I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive._ _  
_ _Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life._

"Bella, are you okay?"

"My mom used to sing that to me when I was little."

"Do you want me to stop?" I shook my head. Without thinking I crawled into his lap and lay my head against his chest. My eyes closed as soon as he started humming again, and I lost myself in the tune.

* * *

We enjoyed scrambled eggs, toast, and a glass of milk for breakfast, and then settled in the living room again to watch the television.

Since my outburst this morning, I hadn't felt the need to harm myself or even try. It was as if the song had put me in a trance, a weird state of normality.

Embry clicked through the channels until he found a weird lifetime movie and then turned to me.

"What?"

"So, your mom's a fan of Foreigner?"

"Yeah, since she was thirteen."

"My mom's the same way. She blasts Hot Blooded whenever she's cleaning the house."

"I'm the exact same, that song pumps me up when I'm doing the laundry." Embry burst out laughing and I couldn't help the blush that flooded my cheeks.

What was this feeling in my chest?

"You're so cute, Bella." He smiled at me so tenderly I felt my stomach drop. I turned to look at my feet, my face looking more and more like a tomato.

 _What was he playing at?_

"T-thanks," I muttered before standing up and leaving the room, wanting to create distance between us. This was getting weirder and weirder by the second.

Me, cute? I'd basically blamed him for ruining my life this morning, and here he is calling me cute.

Teenage boys these days were so weird.

Nervously, I leaned against the kitchen counter and took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I was feeling so much better than I had in weeks, but bad thoughts had a way of filtering in when you least expected it.

I was just staying in place now; my life wouldn't get any better from here on out. No matter how many times Embry called me cute or made me dinner, I'd still be the same pathetic Bella that no one wanted. When he leaves I'll be alone again, so I needed to fix my mistake and fix it soon.

Embry may have ransacked the bathroom for sharp objects, but could he have hidden everything in the kitchen?

One swift search through a drawer proved that his plans had been flawed.

I stared at the steak knife in my hand and gulped before quickly lifting up my sleeve and dragging it across my wrist.

One, two, three.

Blood oozed from the cuts and I hissed in pain, but I kept going.

Three, four, five.

My clothes became stained with red, and I felt woozy.

It would only be a matter of time before it would be over.

I smiled with glee.

Finally!

"What the hell, Bella!" Embry was at my side at once, yanking the knife from my hands and holding a towel to my wrist. I smiled up at him and laughed. "I'm taking you to the hospital."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You're not dying on my watch!" He drug me through me the kitchen and the living room, grabbing my keys on the way out the door. He lifted me into the truck like I weighed nothing. "Hold it there like this, press down hard."

Too out of it to think otherwise, I did as he said. We sped off like lightning speed to the hospital, but then everything became blurry. I don't remember much after that.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

"Hello?"

"Chief Swan?

The other line crackled as the sounds of Harry and Billy laughing almost drowned out Charlie's voice. "Embry, is that you?"

"Yes."

"What do you need, son?"

"You need to sit down, sir."

"Is everything okay? Is it your mom again?" If only, I thought grimly. That would be so much better than this shit.

"I'm at the hospital with Bella."

"What? With Bella?" Charlie shushed the other two men again before speaking again. "What happened?"

"I went to your house yesterday to visit Bella, but I found some notes."

"You don't mean-"

"They were suicide notes. She was planning on jumping off a cliff on the Rez." I swallowed. "I found her at the cliffs and stopped her and brought her home. I slept on her bedroom floor last night to make sure she was safe. Today seemed to be better, she was happier. But then I found her in the kitchen."

"What was she doing in the kitchen?"

"There was so much blood. It was like a murder movie."

"Oh my god."

"You need to come home. They won't tell me anything or let me see her." Embry's voice cracked, and he wiped angrily at the tears that started to fall.

"We're on our way home right now. Stay calm, everything is going to be alright."

"Okay, okay."

"Does Tiffany know where you are?"

"She's staying with her boyfriend in Tacoma for the weekend."

"Just stay calm, okay? We'll be there soon. I'll call you when I'm close."

"Okay, Chief."

"Bye, son." The line ended, and all the emotions Embry had been holding exploded, and he started to cry.

He was bawling like a baby in the middle of the hospital, and he couldn't stop it if he tried.

How had it come to this point?

She was acting better, eating better. Sure, it had only been a day, but I thought I had been really getting to her!

Maybe I was, but a bitch named mental illness loved to walk back in and fuck everything up.

I rubbed my eyes again and put my face in my hands, breathing in and out.

 _Fuck, what was going to happen now?_

Bella was worse than I realized. She needed professional help, better care than I could give her.

If Edward had messed her up, Jacob had broken her.

I only hoped that with the proper help, I could fix her. Maybe then, she would see her real worth. How cute she was. How great she was.

Sobbing again, I felt a few tears drip down my chin.

I hoped to God I could help her love herself again.


	4. Chapter Three: He Thinks I'm Cute

**_A/N_** : _Hello, my lovely readers! I am back with chapter three, and I hope you all enjoy it. This is a hard subject to write about, but I hope that I am doing it justice. Please know that if you are feeling similar to Bella, or just need someone to talk to, I am here for you , The_ _The National Suicide Hotline is: 1-800-273-8255. Okay, one with the chapter! Review or PM me to tell me what you think!_

 **WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Three.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

The first thing I saw when I awoke was my dad's worried eyes. He looked like he had aged years since the last I had seen him.

"Dad?" I croaked out, wincing in pain. My mouth was so dry.

"Thank god, you're awake. I was so worried."

"Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

"I-I-" Hazy memories zoomed through my head. The knife, the blood. Embry's teary eyes as he pulled me into the truck.

"I had no idea you had gotten this bad. I thought you were just upset about Jake and Leah." At the sound of his name, my chest ached, and I flinched. "We're going to get you the help you need, okay?"

"I'm fine."

"How can you be fine? You tried to kill yourself not once, but twice."

"I was cooking and accidentally cut myself." I was lying through my teeth, I knew that. But the pity in Charlie's eyes was driving me crazy.

"Bells, please."

"I would never hurt myself. Who told you these things?"

"Embry called me in hysterics. He's still in the waiting room." Embry, of course. He was the reason I was still here. The reason I survived again. What kind of sick karma was this?

"Tell him to go home." The room was starting to feel so hot it was suffocating. The heart monitor started to beep faster. The sound was almost deafening, or was that just me?

"No."

"He's lying about me, I don't want to see him."

"He saved your life!" Charlie exclaimed, and without thinking I shot up in my seat.

"I didn't ask him to!" The emotions going through me were turning my head into mush, and I couldn't hold back my feelings any longer. "Everyday is a struggle for me, but no one cares. I sit like a zombie most of the time and wake up screaming almost every night, but you all just think poor Bella, hopeless Bella. When will she get over him? It's been months!"

"Everyone deals with things in their own way," Charlie spoke softly, and I knew he was trying to calm me down, but it was too late now. I felt like I was losing control.

"I'm done with feeling like this! Why do I have to live in this world when it does nothing good for me?"

"We can make it through this together."

"You sure you won't drop me off at my mom's when things get too hard?"

"You need to calm down."

"You didn't raise me, you don't get to tell me what to do!" My voice felt hoarse, and everything was becoming foggy. I could feel another panic attack coming on. "You don't even know me!"

"I do know you, and I love you."

"Bullshit!" The door flew open, and Embry came in flagged by two nurses. His eyes were swollen and red, and he looked like he'd been hit by a truck. The women tried to keep him back, but he was an unmovable force. All at once he pushed through the two women and Charlie before pulling me into his arms.

Before I could fight off his hold, he started to sing.

"When you love someone, yeah, really love someone. Now, I know it's right, from the moment I wake up till deep in the night. There's nowhere on earth that I'd rather be than holding you tenderly."

I fell slack in his arms and closed my eyes, the anxiety dissipating as he rubbed my back soothingly. That song, his voice; the crossover made every stress I felt disappear.

The nurses and Charlie must have been looking at us like we grew two heads, but I didn't care. If he kept singing, I would never care. All I wanted was for him to keep singing.

I hope he sang to me forever.

* * *

Therapy. I would have to go to _therapy_.

No, I couldn't do that.

Wouldn't.

Nothing could change my mind.

Or so I thought.

"Either you agree to therapy, or I admit you. Your call." Charlie exclaimed, rubbing a hand over his forehead. I had been out of the hospital for a few days, and now he chooses to drop the bomb.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"This isn't fair. I'm completely fine."

"We both know that isn't true." My shoulders sagged, and I looked down at my lap.

"I don't need therapy."

"I can call the hospital to come get you right now. I won't fight you on this." With a sigh, I knew I couldn't say no. I wasn't going to get admitted, anything but that. At least with therapy, I could still be normal. As normal as someone like me could be.

"Okay, fine. I'll go."

"Great! Your first appointment is tomorrow at two."

"You already set up my appointment?"

"I knew you would agree." He stood up and sent me a grin, but I just glared back. I would not enjoy this, this was stupid. I didn't need help, what I needed is to be left alone to finish what I started.

"Like you gave me a choice."

"Hey, I know what will cheer you up."

"And what would that be?"

"A trip to the diner! We can eat whatever you want." He paused for a second, pondering. "As long as its very greasy and fattening."

"Only if you agree to a salad."

"Done and done. Come on, Bells. Let's go get us some grub." He quickly made his way to the door while I took my time slipping on my jacket and shoes. When I was done, he guided me out the door and into his cruiser.

I wasn't allowed to drive myself anywhere anymore, even to school. The bus had become my mode of transportation.

The car ride was long and tedious, and it seemed like forever until we were inside and had ordered our food.

We chatted, joked, and I even started to enjoy myself. Charlie was right, going to the diner had lifted my spirits.

But then the Forks High gang walked in and ruined my good mood.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

Seth and I had become closer in the last week, probably because he was the only one I had told about Bella. The others would run and tell Jake what had happened, and that was the last thing Bella needed.

We sat in a booth at the back of the diner in Forks, scarfing down a few burgers and talking about things, which was mainly the situation with Bella.

"If you want my opinion, Bella is like a flower. She needs to be planted in some nice dirt, watered regularly, and given some good attention."

"I see."

"You've got all these gardening tools, Embry. You just need to use them."

"As in?"

"Do what you're doing now. Be there for her. That's all you can do." Seth swallowed another bite of his burger and finished off his Coke. "My friend Tammy went through something similar, and after she started going to counseling she got a lot better. It took awhile to find the right meds, though."

"Medication? Do you think that will be necessary?"

"Needing medication doesn't make you any less of a person. A lot of people need it to function."

"Okay, sorry. I shouldn't have said it like that."

"It's okay, broski. I'm just here to educate you."

"I thought I was the older one. When did you get so smart?"

"People think of me as some dumb kid, but I know a lot more than they think." Seth paused for a second to ponder his words. "I think you're the same way. Everyone thinks your just a shy kid, but you're way more than that. A mystery, if you will."

"I guess."

"Hey, isn't that Bella and the Chief over there?" We both turned to look over at the table in the farthest corner. There she was, laughing and smiling like nothing was wrong. If she wasn't so skinny, you would think she was perfectly fine.

I knew better than that, though.

"Should we say hi?"

"Nah," I exclaimed with a shake of my head. "Let her have her time with her dad. We can say bye on our way out."

"Good plan." We talked a little longer, ordering a few more burgers and drinking a lot more soda. We were just about to get our check and leave when all hell started to break loose.

Bella ran from her seat and outside the restaurant. Most people didn't turn a blind eye, not caring about the drama, but I could tell she was crying. She was hurting.

Two girls at the table beside them giggled quietly to themselves. I closed my eyes and zoned in on their conversation, wondering if it had anything to do with Bella.

"Did you see how fast she ran out of there? Wow, so crazy."

"She needs to take a chill pill and come back down to earth. She's so dramatic."

"No wonder Edward dumped her, I couldn't deal with someone so annoying."

I stood up so fast my cup almost fell on the floor, but Seth caught it. We met eyes and he nodded in understanding.

I found Bella beside the cruiser wiping her eyes and talking to herself.

"So stupid, so stupid. Why are you so weird?" She started crying harder. "No wonder everyone leaves you, you're so annoying."

"Bella." She jumped in surprise and turned to me.

"What are you doing here?"

"Seth and I were getting lunch. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing."

"Just leave it alone. I'm fine." Bella turned away from me, but I took initiative and pulled her into my arms. "Embry."

"I already told you I would be here for you. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how hard you try to get rid of me."

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" She whispered curtly but wrapped her small arms around me tightly. I leaned my forehead against her shoulder, breathing in her strawberry shampoo.

"Nowhere is better than here, babe." We stayed like that until Charlie came out from the bathroom, paid the bill, and met us at the car. Seth was with him, smiling like the cat who caught the canary.

"Would you boys want to go bowling with us tonight? I was going to surprise Bella after we ate, but you both can come to."

"That'd be great, thank you," Seth exclaimed happily, but Bella froze.

"Bowling?" She sputtered pathetically from my arms, but I just laughed and hugged her tighter.

"Don't you like bowling?"

"I suck at it."

"What was your best score?"

"Thirty." She whispered before hiding her face in my chest. I couldn't help but laugh at her bashfulness.

"Don't worry, I'm not much better."

"Really?" As Bella looked up at me with her wide chocolate eyes, I couldn't take back my lie.

"Yes, really."

"Then we can lose together."

"Either way, I'm beating all of you," Seth exclaimed loudly as we all got into the cruiser, and Charlie laughed loudly.

"Whatever you say, kid." We took off down the road, and Bella cuddled closer to me in the backseat. My heart felt like it was in my throat as I looked down at her sweet face, wondering how I had gotten so lucky.

How could one person be _so damn cute_?

* * *

"You said you weren't much better!" Bella bit out as I hit another strike, but I just grinned back at her.

"I'm not."

"This is your fourth strike!"

"Must be my lucky day, I guess."

"Ugh, you're such a liar. I'm never trusting you again."

"It's not my fault that I'm lucky!"

"I'm ignoring you now, liar." I couldn't help but smile as I sat down next to her, taking in her annoyed expression. She was trying so hard to be angry, but a smile kept peeking through.

"You're so cute, Bella." In shock, she looked up at me with wide eyes and her face flushed. But then her face looked downcast. "What did I say?"

"That was the last thing you said to me before I hurt myself." Realization hit me like a truck, and I started to flounder.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

 _Great job, Embry. Way to ruin a great night._

As I started to sweat, she laced her fingers between mine. I looked over at her in confusion.

"Call me cute again."

"You're cute."

"Really?"

"Yes. Very cute."

Bella opened her mouth to speak again, but the Chief cut her off with a cough. "If you both are done flirting, it's your turn, Bells."

"Oh! Sorry." As soon as her hand was in mine, it was gone. Gone with the wind, like my mother's favorite movie. I looked dejectedly at my hand, almost wishing I could go back in time to a few seconds ago.

But I changed my mind as soon as Bella threw her ball, and it immediately rolled into the gutter. Seth covered his mouth to hold in his laughter, while Charlie cheered her own.

"You'll get 'em next time!" Bella just glared at us as she tried again, this time surprising us all and hitting a strike. We all looked at her slack-jawed, and all at once she jumped into my arms.

"Embry, I got a strike!"

"I saw!"

"I can't believe it! I did it!"

"You did so well, pumpkin." She wrapped her arms around me and giggled into my neck. Her hot breath made me swallow and I had to think of my Old Quil in a bathing suit just to keep little Embry down.

"You're so cheesy."

"Only for you."

"Well, Seth, you won the game. I guess you can choose where we go for dinner."

"Let's go to Pizza Hut. I'd kill for a nice slice of pizza right now."

"Pizza it is then. Bells, that good with you?"

"Yes, sounds perfect." She looked over at me, and I swear I almost died. Her face was so happy, happier than she had been in months. My heart was melting at the sight.

"Yeah, perfect," I whispered, looking into her eyes. She just giggled before getting off me and standing up. Bella held out her hand for me.

I took it without hesitating.

I probably always would, if it was her.

But only because it was her. Because it was Bella.

I would do anything for Bella now, I had come to realize.

Those pouty lips, those big brown eyes, that sweet girl.

Jacob may have let her go, but it was more for me.

More for me to love, more for me to cherish.

If she'd let me.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

"May I help you?"

"I'm here for my appointment with Dr. Garrity."

"Name?"

"Isabella Swan."

"Ah, two-o-clock. Here, fill out this form. She'll be ready for you in a few minutes."

"Okay, thank you." I hated paperwork. Because I was so clumsy, I was always filling this stuff out. But this was a bit different.

Do you have feelings of hopelessness?

 _Check._

Do you see things that aren't there?

My mind thought back to when I used to see him, especially while doing dangerous activities.

 _Check._

Have you ever self-harmed?

I looked down at my scarred wrist with a frown.

 _Check._

I finished the rest of the paperwork quickly and handed it back to the receptionist just in time to be called back. Dr. Garrity was a curvy brunette who had a loving smile and bright blue eyes. She reminded me a bit of my mother, except for the flighty part.

"Isabella, it's so nice to meet you."

"It's Bella."

"So, Bella. How are you?"

"Fine."

"You're a senior at Forks High, right? How is that?"

"It's good."

"This session is will just be us getting to know each other. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, okay? And I won't tell anyone your secrets unless it endangers you or others."

"Okay."

"So, do you have any friends?"

"A few."

"Who are they?"

"I have a friend named Angela, she's really nice. Then there's Embry." I couldn't fight the blush that appeared on my cheeks at the thought of him. What was wrong with me?

"Who is Embry?"

"He's two years younger than me, but we're hanging out a lot now. He calls me cute."

"He does?"

"Yeah. And he sings to me."

"What does he sing?"

"Do you know the band Foreigner?"

"Of course, they're one of my favorites."

"Their song Waiting For A Girl Like You. My mom used to sing it to me when I was little. Whenever I started to freak out, he starts to sing that song."

"Does it help?"

"It's the only thing that keeps me calm."

"How did you meet this Embry?"

"I was hanging out with-" _Jacob, you were hanging out with Jacob,_ I thought to myself. "Someone else and he's one of his best friends."

"Who is this someone else?" Dr. Garrity prodded, but the wall came up anyway. I wasn't ready to talk about that yet.

"No one special."

She wrote something down in her notebook before asking out of the blue. "Do you think Embry is cute?"

"What?"

"Is he a nice looking young man?" She teased.

"Yeah, I guess."

"What makes him cute?"

"His smile or his eyes maybe. He always seems like he cares about me."

"Its good that he cares for you, Bella."

"It is good, isn't it?" I felt a smile growing on my lips, and Dr. Garrity returned it.

"Yes, it is. Oh, your session is coming to an end for today. How about the same time next week?"

"We're done already? That only seemed like a few minutes."

"The first session is shorter than the rest. Next time you will be in here a full hour, but this was only a half an hour."

"Oh, I see."

"Same time next week?"

"Yes."

We left her office and said our goodbyes as I made my next appointment with the receptionist.

I felt better when I stepped out into the chilly air, breathing deeply. The air engulfed my lungs and made me feel alive.

That wasn't so hard to talk to someone. I opened up a little. Mostly about Embry, but still.

And speaking of Embry, he stood against my truck lazily, arms over his chest. He grinned at me as I walked closer. _How was he so cute?_

My thoughts stopped me dead in my tracks.

 _Cute, what? No._ I shook my head before starting towards him again.

 _Bells, you're crazy. You just need to get your head back on straight._

"How was it?"

"It was good."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm going back next week."

"That's great. I'm so proud of you." He pulled me into a hug, and without thinking I hugged him back. I breathed in his foresty smell, relaxing instantly.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, cutie." I fought the urge to giggle and hid my face in his chest. He thought I was cute, it made me want to squeal like a school girl. Little did he know that I thought that he was cute too.


	5. Chapter Four: You're So Cheesy

**_A/N:_** _Wow, already to chapter four! I'm so happy that you all are enjoying this story, and I hope you continue to enjoy it. If you have any questions or comments, PM me or review and tell me what you think! Okay, onto the next chapter. Happy reading!_

 **WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Four.

* * *

The final bell of the day rang through the school, and I slowly got my stuff together. Angela, ever the sweetheart, waited patiently for me after class to walk me to my locker.

"Do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow?"

"That sounds like fun, Angie."

"Great! I feel like we haven't hung out in so long. I miss you, girl."

"I miss you too. I'm sorry I've been so antisocial lately."

"You were going through things, it's okay. I went through my own heartbreak too."

"What do you mean?"

"Didn't I tell you? Ben broke up with me. I was sad, but then some things started to make sense, and I moved on."

"Oh gosh, I had no idea. I'm sorry for not being there for you."

"Its okay, if you had known you would have." Sadly, past me probably wouldn't have been. But I could change that now, I could be the type of friend she deserved. Just like she was for me. "Ah, I'm going to be late for work if I don't hurry. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Bye, Angie." She quickly headed out, and I got my things together.

When I got outside, I could see Embry playing a Gameboy in the front seat, brow scrunched in concentration.

 _So cute._

I shook my head again in agitation before quickly getting into the truck and slamming the door shut.

"You staying for dinner?"

"Of course."

"Won't your parents be worried?" He shut off his game and shook his head, not meeting my eye.

"Nah." He pulled the car out of its parking spot and headed back to my house. There was a tense silence that filled the car, but I couldn't understand why. Was it something I said?

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just wondering."

By the time we made it home, Embry's brow had become permanently furrowed and he stalked into the kitchen without a glance back. I followed him, unsure of why he was acting this way.

"Are you staying again?"

"Probably."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Bella."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying to you."

"But you aren't telling me the truth either." He sighed and looked down at me. I couldn't read his expression, it was unnerving.

"I don't want to bother you with my problems."

"I bother you with mine all the time."

"That's different."

"No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is.

"No, it isn't."

He sighed and gave me a dejected look. "Fine, you really want to know?"

"Yes."

"My mom and I don't have the best relationship."

"Oh... Why is that?"

"She thinks I've become a hooligan or something." His shoulders sagged and he turned away. "You know, because of the rumors about Sam's so-called gang."

"But you're not. Doesn't she know you're out there all the time keeping the reservation safe?"

"No, she doesn't."

"What, why not?"

"She isn't Quileute. It isn't her secret to know."

"Oh, I see."

"Yeah. She kicks me out a lot for sneaking out and being secretive, but I understand. I'd probably do the same thing." We stood there in silence for a while until I got a bit of courage. Nervously, I pulled him into a hug, burying my face in his chest.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

"Still, I wish I could make it better for you."

"You already are by existing."

"So cheesy. You're going to turn into a slice of cheddar one of these days."

"Speaking of cheddar, want to have dinner at the diner? I'm craving their grilled cheese."

"That sounds good."

"Charlie told me to only let you have the tasty stuff, so none of those salads you love so much." I looked up at him and pouted, but he just laughed. "Sorry, rules are rules."

"I'll just have pie then."

"Pie for dinner? What has gotten into you, Bella?" He teased before lifting me into his arms. My eyes widened as he carried me to the living room and sat down on the couch, rubbing my back.

"You know me, I love to live life on the wild side."

"My little rebel." My face felt hot, and I bit my lip nervously. This was all getting too weird; no, not weird. Too hot. You could cut the tension with a knife.

His large hand cupped my cheek, and I leaned into his warm touch.

"Have I told you how cute you are today?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, you're cute. So cute in fact, that I might just have to kiss you." My eyes widened in shock. Was he serious?

"W-what?"

"Ah, so adorable." He leaned forward until our foreheads were touching, and the air died in my throat. "Do you want me to?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want me to kiss you?" I could almost taste the hot breath of his mouth, and my brain was becoming foggy. He rubbed his nose against mine, and I sighed.

"I-" _Did I?_

So much had happened between us already. We hugged and held hands regularly now. From the course of our relationship, it was only a matter of time. But did I want to?

"Bella." He was so close I could almost taste his lips. Just a little closer, closer, closer…

I pulled away from him with a cough, feeling embarrassed. This was so stupid, what was I doing? He was obviously just joking around, he didn't want to kiss me at all.

"Bella, what's wrong? Did I take it too far?"

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I should be the one apologizing, I'm the one who pushed you."

"Of course, you didn't want to kiss me, I wouldn't want to kiss me either." I looked down at my lap and fiddled with the end of my shirt. "I've only ever kissed one boy, so I'm probably not very good at it."

"What are you talking about? Of course, I want to kiss you. I really do."

"What, you do? You weren't joking?"

"Of course not, baby. I'd never joke about that." Embry pulled me forward again we were back in our old position. "The question is, do you want to kiss me?"

"I-I do."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes."

And then he kissed me. I never imagined a pair of lips could be so soft and warm, but his were. We kissed for what felt like a lifetime, but it seemed like only a few seconds had passed in the real world.

Embry looked up at me with his deep, dark eyes and I shuddered.

"God, I've been wanting to do that since the day I met you."

"You have?"

"Yes, but Jake liked you, so I could only fantasize." The sound of his name hurt less, especially when I was close to Embry. He seemed to soothe me in that way. "But look at me now, I can kiss this beautiful girl whenever I want."

"You're so cheesy."

"If you think that's cheesy, just listen to this." He swallowed, and his cheeks filled with blush. "My crush on you makes me crumble like feta."

"I can't believe I had to witness that."

"Here's another one. If you get with me, I can promise you more than a gouda time."

"Stop, my ears are burning," I exclaimed, but I couldn't mask the giggles that escaped my lips.

"Bella, you're the Colby to my Monterey Jack."

"Just kiss me again so I don't have to go through this torture anymore, please."

"Well, only because you're begging me to." Embry teased before pulling my lips down to his again, and we both lost ourselves in each other.

Maybe this was the start of the new beginning, or maybe this would all end in tragedy. Either way, at least I got to kiss this beautiful man for a short while.

* * *

I lay in bed that night looking up at the dark ceiling, my thoughts a disarray.

What was going on between Embry and I? Were we just fooling around, or was this becoming something serious? I was hoping for the latter, but you never know with teenage boys.

I thought I had one thing with Edward, but then he turns around and leaves me with nothing.

I thought Jacob and I were going to finally start a relationship together, but then he meets Leah. He forgot all about me and went to her.

What if Embry imprinted? Would he try to fight it, or soak it in like sunshine just as Jacob did?

Would I ever get my happily ever after, or be destined for a life of letdowns that I was growing accustomed to?

Absentmindedly, I dug my nails into my skin for the faint relief they used to give me. The pain was immediate, as was the euphoria. For a few moments, it was as if Jacob never found Leah, and Edward never left. It was almost like I was back in Phoenix with my mother, planning her and Phil's wedding.

I was at a place and time before everything turned to mush.

In annoyance, I rolled over onto my side and looked at the dark bundle of blankets on the floor. Embry had decided to stay again, he had stayed almost every night since he found me on the cliff.

That seemed so long ago now, even though it had only been about a week ago.

Were we going too fast?

 _Maybe we should slow down._

But doesn't the saying go, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade?

I gave one last glance at the brute on the floor before rolling over again and covering myself up with my blankets.

Tomorrow, I'd make some lemonade. For my sake, at least.

* * *

"So, Isabella-" Pastor Weber asked curtly, but I cut him off.

"It's Bella."

"Bella, your father is Chief Swan, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"How are you in school?"

"I'm an A student."

"Very good, very good." He set his silverware down, and I swear I heard Angela take in a breath. "How does your father feel about you've been doing?"

"What?"

"My wife's friend works as a receptionist where you go for therapy. She has told us some things about you that I am curious about."

"Dad, are you serious right now?"

"Pumpkin, daddy is speaking." He shot Angela a knowing look, and she almost crumbled beside me. "Bella, how long have you been suicidal?"

"Excuse me?" I suddenly lost my appetite. The room was closing in, and everything was hot. I'm sure I was as red as a tomato.

"Your file said that you have attempted not once, but twice. Now, why is that? You're a beautiful girl with a bright future ahead of you. Why snuff it out?"

How dare he ask about my personal life like this. I come to have a nice dinner and meet Angela's parents formally, yet I am berated where I sit. It wasn't my fault I was like this, that I felt this way.

 _I didn't ask to be born like this._

"I-" I was about to speak, but he cut me off again. Angela's brothers looked down at their plate in embarrassment, and I didn't blame them.

"I know that Dr. Cullen's son and you were getting to be very serious, but it isn't the end of the world."

"I know that, sir-"

"Everyone gets sad sometimes, Isabella. I did a funeral yesterday and I am still grieving, but you don't see me hurting myself."

"You don't suffer from a mental illness, sir. I don't think you could possibly understand what I am dealing with."

"You're a teenage girl, what do you have to be upset about?"

"Thomas-" Mrs. Weber warned from her seat, eyes becoming hard.

"What? I'm merely asking a question, dear. I have no idea why anyone would do that to themselves. Your body is a temple, the Lord says. And those scars will always be there, and she'll have that stigma for the rest of her life-"

I was just about to get up and leave the room when Angela, wide-eyed and bursting out of her seat, blurted. "I'm gay!"

Everyone was suddenly silent, so silent you could hear a pin drop on the other side of the house. I looked over at Angela with wide eyes, but she was too busy glaring at her father. Mrs. Weber and the twins didn't look surprised in the slightest and continued to pick at their plates.

"W-what?" His voice was almost a whisper.

"I'm gay."

"But you're dating Ben!"

"We broke up." Her dad ran a hand through his hair.

"This is just great."

"Dad, it isn't a big deal."

"I'm going down to my study. If you'll excuse me." Without another glance, he left his chair and exited the room.

Everyone started eating again as if nothing happened, but I felt sick to my stomach. I turned to look at Angela in confusion, but she just gave me a small smile before turning back to her dish. Dinner finished quickly after that, and I called Embry to come pick me up.

"Thanks for coming to dinner, Bella," Angela exclaimed as we sat on her porch steps, waiting for my ride.

"I'm sorry about your dad."

"No, I'm sorry, I had no idea he'd be so rude."

A silence sat in for a few minutes into I asked. "So you're..."

"Gay? Yeah, I am." Her eyes suddenly turned sad, and she frowned. "I'd understand if you didn't want to be friends anymore."

"What? No! Why wouldn't I want to be friends with you?"

"Because I'm…"

"That doesn't matter. Everyone should be able to love someone. My mom dated a girl for awhile before meeting my stepdad."

"Really? That's pretty cool."

"Yeah, I really liked her."

"So, you really don't care?"

"Not at all. Love is love."

"Thank you for accepting me, Bella." She pulled me into a tight hug, and I hugged her back just as tight.

"Anything for my best friend." We stayed like that until Embry pulled up in my truck. Once we parted, we said our quick goodbyes and I hopped into my truck.

Tonight hadn't gone as planned, but somehow it had turned out better than I hoped. Angela and I solidified our friendship, and that was all that mattered.

I was just about to tell Embry about my night when I took in his haggard expression. His left eye was heavily bruised, and his eyebrow was cut and bleeding. He was healing fast, but it still looked horrible.

"Oh, my gosh, what happened to you?"

"My mom." He started driving down the road, hands tight on the steering wheel.

"What, your mom did this?"

"I went back home for some clothes, but she got off work and caught me there. We got into an argument and she hit me." He cursed as I tried to touch his blackeye, furrowing his brow at me. "It isn't as bad as it looks."

"It was probably worse before you started healing."

"What do you want me to say? I can't do anything about it."

"I know, I'm just worried-"

"Well, don't. That's my job." Embry snipped out angrily, and I snapped my mouth shut and turned to look out the window. I could tell he was hurt and angry, but I didn't know how else to help except to leave him to cool down.

We drove in silence until we got to my house, and I went to open the door to go on ahead of him.

"Baby, wait." I paused and turned to look at him, and all at once he pulled me into his lap. We stared at each other, his dark eyes looking deep into mine. "I'm being a complete jerk, aren't I?"

"Well, you aren't exactly being nice…" I trailed off, and he sighed.

"I'm sorry. I'm taking my anger out on you, and that shouldn't be allowed _ever_." His lips brushed my mine, and for a second, I lost myself in his taste. I don't think I'd ever get tired of it. "I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive."

"Only if you kiss me again."

"I don't know… A kiss doesn't seem like enough payment."

"Then kiss me a hundred times."

"A hundred…"

"Fine, a thousand!"

He laughed loudly before speaking again, and I couldn't help but smile back. "I was going to say a hundred is fine, but I guess a thousand kisses it is." His lips were so soft on mine it was unreal, and I was in heaven.

When we were kissing, it almost seemed like everything would be okay. I could get better, be happy even. His kisses were the hope I needed to _be better_.

He nipped at my bottom lip and I couldn't hold in the moan that came out, and thankfully he didn't stop kissing me.

 _I hoped that he never stopped kissing me like this._


	6. Chapter Five: I'll Be Your Shelter

**WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, ABUSE, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Five.

* * *

After making out in the truck for a while, we finally decided to head inside. Charlie sat at the kitchen table, case files littered around him. Embry and I were about to make a break for it when Charlie coughed and turned around to look at us.

"Where are you two running off so fast?"

"Just to bed, Chief." Embry uttered in a choked voice, turning towards the ground.

"Come over here, I need to talk to you both."

"I'm really tired, sir-"

"This will just take a second. Come on, the faster you get over here, the faster you can go upstairs to do god-knows-what when my backs turned." Embry and I shared a nervous glance before following orders, trudging into the kitchen.

The second Embry's face came into the light, Charlie's mouth dropped.

"Son, what happened?"

"It's nothing…" I slipped my hand into his and held it tightly. He squeezed it back with almost as much force.

"That's a load of crap. Come on, you can tell me." When Embry failed to speak again, Charlie sighed and stood up before putting a hand on his shoulder.

Embry was almost a foot taller than him, but you could tell who had the authority here.

"My mom and I got in a fight. It's nothing."

"She hit you?" He nodded to Charlie impassively, as if it didn't matter. It made my heart ache.

It did matter, it always mattered. No matter what he did, that didn't excuse what his mother had done.

She had hit him, and this didn't seem like a first occurrence.

 _That bitch_.

"It's nothing."

"Bullshit!" Embry turned to me in surprise, furrowing his brow. "You're not going back there."

"I have no choice, Bella."

"You can stay here, right dad?" I turned to my dad expectantly, and instantly he nodded.

"Yes, you'll stay here."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You're already here most of the time anyway, not you'll just be here all of the time."

"I don't know…"

I turned to him with pleading eyes. "Please accept our hospitality. I can't let you go back to that place."

"Baby, I don't-"

"Embry, just accept. I won't take no for an answer." Charlie said with finality, and all Embry could do was nod. "Also, I wanted to ask you about school. Have you been going?"

"I-um-" Embry coughed and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Things have been kind of hectic lately."

"Understandable, but please start going regularly. Your grades shouldn't suffer because of bad circumstances."

"Understood, sir."

"Okay, you both can head on up. Leave this old dog to his tricks." He nodded to the paperwork in front of him and we quickly said goodnight before heading up the stairs.

Once safely behind my closed door, Embry trapped me against it and kissed me roughly. My brain became foggier by the second, and my belly filled with butterflies.

Was this what it would have been like with Jacob if we ended up together? Or would he have given me a few tender pecks here and there like Edward?

"Bella, baby, you're so much more than I could have dreamed about." He groaned quietly into my neck, rubbing himself against me. I shuddered at the unfamiliar feeling and wrapped my arms around his neck. "You looked so beautiful back there getting angry for me, so fiery. Ahh, oh my god."

"Embry," I whispered into the quiet darkness of my room. "Embry."

"I'm here, baby, I'm here. I'll always be here."

 _It's a trick, he's lying to you. In a few weeks, he'll grow tired of you and laugh about you to the pack._

I pushed him back and flipped on the lights before going to my dresser and pulling out a pair of pajamas. "You're just saying that."

"I'm not."

"You sound like them."

"How so?"

" _Love, I won't leave you. I'd rather die a thousand deaths than live a single day without you_. Or better yet, _I can fix you, Bella. I can make you whole again with my sunshine smile and great charm_." I spat in anger, running a hand through my hair.

"You really think I'm like them?"

"I don't know."

"Baby, what is it going to take to prove it to you that I'm in it for the long run?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, there has to be some way I can."

"Nope, there's no way." He gave me an annoyed look and I couldn't help but laugh as I picked up my pajamas and left the bathroom.

"You're no fun."

"Don't you already know that?"

* * *

 _"You know I would never leave you, I love you." Jacob thundered from the sky above, as tall as a tree and large as a cloud. "You're the only one for me."_

" _Jacob, Jacob, Jacob." A beautiful tree-tall gorgeous sang from behind me, and suddenly Jacob's eyes stuck to hers and didn't leave. He trampled over the ground and almost stepped on me, where I was caught by an icy cold body._

" _My sweet little lamb, if my heart could beat, it would only be to your tune."_

" _Edward, Edward, Edward." The tree-goddess sang again, and I was thrown to the ground. Edward followed without another glance, and I was alone again._

 _The world turned into a rainy, dark forest, and it was the night Edward left. I scrambled in an unknown direction, tripping over tree limbs and rocks._

" _Baby, what are you doing out here alone?" I was wrapped in the warm, woodsy scent as Embry held me tightly against him, sheltering me from the rain. "We better get you out of the cold."_

" _Embry." I hummed in happiness, wrapping my arms around him. Finally, someone that would stay, wouldn't break my heart. Someone in it for forever._

 _But then the tree-goddess reared her ugly head._

" _Embry, Embry, Embry."_

 _I was thrown to the cold, wet ground without warning as he ran to catch up with her, and everything around me started to flood with water. As the sea covered my head, I fought to stay afloat but it was no use._

 _Everything grew dim as I sank to the bottom of the ocean that was once dry land._

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

I sat up in fright when Bella screeched like a banshee, before jumping up and going to her bedside. She thrashed in her covers, and tears ran down her cheeks.

"Honey, wake up. You're having a nightmare." I winced as she screamed again, but my heart dropped to my stomach when her eyes snapped open.

"Wha-what happened? Where are they?"

"Where are who?"

"Them. They left with her."

"You're not making any sense, Bella."

"I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone." She kept repeating the phrase over and over, crying harder and harder. With a shaky breath, I sat on her bed and pulled her into my lap before rubbing her back.

Words that my mother used to sing to me started to leave my mouth like a waterfall, and I couldn't stop it. "So now I come to you, with open arms. Nothing to hide, believe what I say. So here I am with open arms, hoping you'll see what your love means to me, open arms."

Soon, Bella started to calm down and the tears turned into sniffles. A few more minutes passed, and she had fallen back asleep, and I decided to tuck her back in.

I was just about to pull away and go back to my pile of blankets on the floor when her tiny hands grabbed at my shirt with urgency.

"Stay with me."

How was I supposed to say no to such a pretty girl?

Without thinking, I slipped underneath the blanket and pulled her into my arms, reveling in her cold body. She was always so cold, almost like a vampire. The thought made me shudder and I quickly pushed it from my mind with a sniff of her strawberry scented hair.

"Embry." Bella whimpered in her sleep, nails digging into my forearms.

"I'm here, baby. I'm here."

She slept soundly for the rest of the night.

* * *

"I need to go and get my stuff today." I exclaimed to Bella as she finished washing up our plates from breakfast. In an instant she turned around, soapy hands clenched into fists and her cheeks reddening in anger.

"You're not going back there alone."

"I have to."

"What if she comes home early?"

"I'll jump out the window."

"How about I come with you?"

"Over my dead body."

"Come on, it will make me feel better."

I shook my head. "It's too dangerous, baby. I can't risk you like that."

"It isn't up for discussion. And besides, Charlie wouldn't like you leaving me home alone, remember?"

"Ugh, fine. But we have to be careful, okay? No funny business."

"Of course, we'll be super serious spies."

"You're such a dork." Bella shot me a pair of finger guns and winked.

"But I'm your dork." With a laugh, I pulled her towards me and planted a large smooch on her lips.

* * *

We stood outside the house I grew up, and all I felt like doing was running back to the Swan's and never leaving.

So many memories. So much bad shit that had gone down.

No one had any idea what she put me through, no one knew her dirty laundry like I did.

The only good thing she did for me was teach me to cook, and even that wasn't such a great experience.

"Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

The front door was unlocked, mom had busted the luck in one of her rages, and we quickly made our way inside and to my small bedroom. I didn't have much; some clothes, a few personal items. It all fit into two suitcases.

The process took a half an hour, and when we were about to leave my eye caught a picture of my mom and I sitting on my dresser.

I was three-years-old, and she had still loved me. Without thinking, I pocketed the tiny picture before we left the house.

I probably wouldn't be seeing her again anytime soon, if luck was on my side.

"We still have time; do you want to go to First Beach? I haven't been there in so long." Bella asked as we put my stuff in the back of her truck before turning to me with a smile.

"Sure." I would do anything to keep that smile in place.

We both slid into the truck together and I held her hand as I drove, enjoying the feeling of her coolness on my hot skin. It didn't take long to get to the beach, and Bella shot out of the truck as soon as I parked. I quickly followed behind her, the sand crunch under my boots.

The wind blew a cool breeze through the air, and Bella's scent all but smacked me in the face.

She always smelled so _good_. How was that possible?

"Charlie probably let us room together anymore."

"Damn, I didn't think about that."

"Maybe we can sneak?" She teased.

"What a rebel. What happened to innocent little Bella Swan?"

"You kissed the innocence out of me."

"I guess you'll have to kiss me to get it back, then."

Passionately, her lips pressed against mine and her arms wrapped around my neck. I pulled her towards me by her waist, trapping her against my heat.

Unbeknownst to us, a figure watched from the shadows of the forest, eyes hard like stone.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

It was sort of solemn. The waves crashing against the shore, and the unchanging gray sky. A lot of nostalgia and memories were held here.

I felt a pang in my heart as I eyed the fallen log that Jacob and I had christened our special place.

It seemed like so long ago since we had shared a connection. A close friendship and then a budding relationship.

What would have happened if it hadn't been snuffed out? Would I be here with him, sitting on the same log? Sharing laughs and kisses and basking in his sunshine?

I loved Jacob, I truly did. But part of me knew it wasn't enough; he would never have replaced Edward.

Not like Embry could.

I turned to look up at the quiet boy I had never given a second glance to before, who had made it his mission to save me from myself. I really looked at him for the first time.

He looked like he had aged twenty years, with a similar hard expression that Sam always wore. The quiet, tender boy who always showed others kindness and respect, was having a hard time accepting it in return, even though he desperately needed it.

He had never known what it was like to be taken care of like he was supposed to be.

A slap in the face? Nothing to him. But if it was Charlie that had hit me, I know he would have skinned him alive for it.

"What are you thinking about so hard over there?" Embry inquired with a small smirk and quirk of his eyebrow.

"You deserve happiness, Embry Call."

"You're making me want to kiss you again."

"I'm serious."

"I am too, baby."

"If it's your mission to help me, it's my mission to make you happy."

"That's not your responsibility."

"It's not yours either."

We fell into an uncomfortable silence, and bad thoughts started to surface through my head.

 _"Now, just hold on a minute, Bella," he said in a calm voice. "Tell me something."_

 _I grimaced. I didn't want to do this. Not just not now, but not ever. There was nothing left in my life at this point that was more important than Jacob Black. But he seemed determined to ruin everything._

 _"What?" I muttered sourly._

 _"You like me, right?"_

 _"You know I do."_

 _"Better than that joker puking his guts out in there?" He gestured toward the bathroom door._

 _"Yes," I sighed._

 _"Better than any of the other guys you know?" He was calm, serene—as if my answer didn't matter, or he already knew what it was._

 _"Better than the girls, too," I pointed out._

 _"But that's all," he said, and it wasn't a question._

I did like Jacob, even loved him. But at that point, I hadn't known I did. I had still been grieving losing _him_ , losing what we shared.

I really had loved him with all my heart.

" _You know I had no control over it, you can't be angry with me!"_

" _But you cheated on me!"_

" _We were never together. For fuck's sake, you told me you didn't have feelings for me." Jacob spat before wrapping an arm around Leah. Leah, beautiful long-legged goddess. So much more than I could ever be. "How can you be angry with me for moving on when we weren't even together?"_

" _But we talked, you said you would wait for me."_

" _You couldn't have expected me to wait forever."_

" _No, I guess not." My heart felt like it had been ripped out. "So, this is it then?"_

" _I didn't say that-"_

" _You didn't have to."_

"Bella, are you okay?"

The room was spinning out of control, and I no matter how much I shook my head my vision wouldn't clear.

Thump, thump, thump.

All I could hear was my heart pumping loudly in my ear.

A wave of nausea hit me full force and I fell to my knees on the sand.

"Bella, baby, talk to me."

"Get me out of here, please." He lifted me up bridal style and carried me back to the truck, buckling me in before getting in himself. I shut my eyes and leaned my head against the cool window, breathing in and out through my nose.

 _Too soon_ , I thought, _too soon_.

I should have listened to Embry. I shouldn't have come.

I wasn't ready.

We hit a speed bump and I felt even sicker.

I shouldn't have come.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

A howl, then another. Four howls in total.

A pack meeting.

While Bella and Charlie were sleeping, I slipped out the door and into the dark of the night. After hiding my clothes close to the property, I phased on command and trotted towards La Push.

My thoughts were well hidden, there was no way my secret would slip out. I could only hope that Seth's was the same.

When I arrived at our meeting spot, everyone was already there. To anyone else, a group of horse-sized wolves would make them shit their pants. Not me though; no, this was my daily life.

" _I call this meeting to order." Sam implored through our shared mind link, and we sat at attention. "Firstly, Paul and Jared caught the redhead's scent towards the west but were unable to track her past the beach."_

" _That bitch keeps hiding in the water, I just know it!" Paul roared, pawing at the ground. "Just wait till I get my hands on that tick."_

" _Don't you mean paws?" Quil joked, and everyone groaned. Paul barked back and made a move to tackle him._

" _Watch your mouth."_

" _Are you going to make me?"_

" _Hell yeah, I am-"_

" _Both of you shut the fuck up now." Sam's voice rang with authority, and immediately they quieted down. "Anyway, we need to start patrolling more. We haven't been patrolling enough because she disappeared, but now that she is back we need to have a tighter schedule. Leah, Seth, you both will patrol until three, and then Jared and I will take over until ten. Paul and Jacob will go until four tomorrow evening, and then Embry and Quil will finish the cycle. After that, everyone will repeat."_

" _What about school? If I miss one more class my ass is grass." Jared inquired helplessly._

" _Old Quil has started talking to the school about home-schooling you."_

" _That's fucking lame," Paul answered, and Sam groaned._

" _I agree with Paul here, that is lame."_

" _You don't have to do it if you don't want to, it's just an idea."_

" _I think I'd like to do home-schooling, it might be easier," I said quietly, feeling a hint of embarrassment._

" _Maybe the people that do home-schooling can do the patrol time during school hours?" Leah said. "I mean, Seth's schedule would be better at Quil and Embry's time."_

" _I'd be happy to switch with Seth if that's better."_

" _You sure, Em?"_

" _It's not a problem."_

" _Anyone else wants to switch their times?"_

" _Leah, can I switch with you?"_

" _I guess, Paul." She sighed in annoyance, but you could tell she was ecstatic at patrolling with her imprint. His throat rumbled in happiness and he rubbed his side against hers._

" _Is everyone happy with their times now?" We all nodded in agreement. "Okay, then I guess the meeting is over-"_

" _Hold it." Quil snapped._

" _What is it now?"_

" _I saw something interesting on the beach today that you would probably want to know about, Jake." Quil sneered and my heart started to pound._

 _Wait, what? It couldn't be._

" _What is it?"_

 _All at once our mind filled with Bella and me in a full out make out on the beach, arms gripping each other like lifelines._

" _What the fuck?" Paul yelled._

" _Shit," Seth exclaimed._

" _Embry, why are you kissing Bella?"_

" _Why do you care? You have Leah now, right?"_

" _Yeah, but-"_

" _Then it shouldn't matter. It's none of your business."_

" _She's my best friend!"_

" _If she is your best friend, then why am I with her every day? Have you even called to talk to her since she caught you with Leah?"_

" _Don't bring her into this."_

" _You have no idea how much you fucked up."_

" _Are you sure she even likes you? That she's not just using you to get back at me?"_

" _Fuck off, Jake."_

" _Wait, Embry-"_

But I didn't catch the rest of what he said as I phased out and ran away from the group.

I saw so angry and the pain in my chest ached.

Using me to get back at him? After what he did to her?

 _Fuck, what if she was?_

No, Bella wouldn't do that.

Or would she?

In all honesty, I didn't know her that well. I was thrown into this situation full force and still hadn't come up to resurface on dry land. Every day I made it my job to keep Bella in high spirits and give her the attention and love she deserved. But I didn't know her hobbies, or her favorite color and food. I didn't know what her favorite subject in school was, or who her favorite movie director was.

Everything in my heart told me to stay with her, but my head was finding faults in my plan. What if Bella and I ended up being incompatible? Sure, we had great chemistry, but there had to be more to a relationship than that. And besides, we were only friends. Friends that kissed quite a lot, but only friends.

My thoughts broke as I made it to my pile of clothes, and I slipped them on before sneaking back into the Swan home. All was quiet, and Bella and Charlie's hearts beat in a steady tempo.

I lay down on the couch, my new bed for who knows how long, and slipped into a fitful sleep. My dreams were empty and comfortable.


	7. Chapter Six: Little Grey Book

**WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, TRIGGERING IMAGERY, AND ADULT IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Six.

* * *

Dawn broke the sky, and a sudden realization hit me like a truck. I forgot to do my patrol! Fuck!

 _Really Embry? You stupid piece of shit, you let your anger get the best of you. You ruined everything._

Sam was probably fuming right now. Without another thought, I ran out the back door and into the woods. I yanked off my clothes, careful not to rip any, and phased.

" _Well, look what we have here. Patrol skipper." Sam teased as he felt me phase in, and Jared laughed with him. "What do you have to say for yourself?"_

" _I'm so sorry, it completely slipped my mind after the shit that went down with Jake."_

" _No need to apologize, it was covered."_

" _What, by who?"_

" _Quil. He caused unneeded drama in the pack, so he has to face the consequences." My heart stopped its incessant pounding, and I felt myself start to relax. "Speaking of unneeded drama, you and Bella, huh?"_

" _Heh, yeah. It just sort of happened."_

" _You sure she feels the same way?" My mind instantly flooded with what happened last night when I had picked her up, and then the ordeal with Charlie. "Fuck, so you're living at the Swan's now."_

" _Yeah, but don't tell anyone. Can we keep it between us guys?"_

" _Of course. Jared, you think you can keep a secret?"_

" _No prob, bob. You know you're my favorite wolf cub."_

" _We're starting to sound like a sorority house," Sam said with a fake gag, and we all laughed. "Embry, go on back to the Swan's and get ready for school. And drop by my house afterward, Emily and I have something to give you."_

" _Awe, and it's not even my birthday."_

" _Bye Embry."_

" _Bye, guys!"_

With my clothes pulled back on, I slipped into the house and went to work making breakfast. Today was Monday, one of the worst days in all of existence, and to show my appreciation I would make them breakfast. Cheesy scrambled eggs, toast, and some bacon. Not very fancy, but it would do the trick and fill up their stomachs until lunch.

Charlie was the first to wake up, trudging downstairs after his alarm went off. When he entered the kitchen, his eyes widened.

"What's all this?"

"I just wanted to tell you guys thank you for, you know, everything you've done for me."

"You didn't have to do all this."

"I wanted to." I motioned for him to sit down before serving. "Enjoy!"

"Thank you, son."

"Embry?" I turned around with a nervous laugh as Bella came through, a small smile on her kissable mouth. "You didn't have to do this for us."

"Bella, he wanted to. Come on, sit down and enjoy."

"Yes, just enjoy the food, baby." With a roll of her eyes, she sat down in her chair and grinned as I served her a plate full of food. Since that first night, Bella had been eating nothing but comfort food for breakfast and dinner, and it was putting much-needed meat on her bones. As I sat down in my plate, I swallowed as I caught sight of her cleavage in the opening of the flannel she had slept it.

Old Quil in a bathing suit, Old Quil in a bathing suit, Old Quil in a bathing suit.

I grimaced at the image, but the problem in my pants thankfully stayed down.

"So, Bella, I forgot to ask you how dinner went at the Weber's?" Almost immediately her fork dropped to her plate with a clatter, and she looked sick to her stomach.

"Honey, did something happen?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"If something happened, we need to know so we can fix it, right Embry?" He glanced in my direction and I nodded.

"Yes. Baby, please tell us."

"It's stupid."

"Nothing that bothers you this bad could be stupid." I leaned out to hold her hand, rubbing the back of it with my thumb. "Please tell us."

She looks down at her plate and takes in a deep breathing before speaking. "Someone told my personal information to Angela's parents, and her dad started asking me questions."

"What kind of questions did he ask you?"

"Why I tried to kill myself…"

"He did what?" Charlie questioned angrily, and Bella took another deep breath.

"He was talking to me like I was an idiot, asking me, what do you have to be sad about? You're a teenage girl with no problems. I felt horrible."

"We're taking legal action over this."

"What, why?"

"It's against the law to leak someone's personal information. I assume your therapist told you about doctor-patient confidentiality, right?" Bella nodded, and a few tears leaked out of her eyes. I felt like running to the Weber's and decking that asshole, but I held in my temper. Hitting someone wouldn't solve anything, especially for Bella.

 _You would be in the back of a police cruiser, and where would she be? Alone._

"Did he say who it was?"

"He said she worked in the office." With shaky movements, she slipped from my grasp and stood up from the table. "I'm going to go get ready for school."

"You don't want to finish eating?"

"I'm not that hungry anymore." She turned to leave the room and quickly went upstairs. Charlie and I exchanged a look before he nodded.

"I'll pack up your breakfast, so you can heat it up later." In a flash, I was out of the room and up the stairs.

On the other side of the door, I could hear Bella crying. I tried to turn the doorknob, but it wouldn't budge.

"Baby, let me in."

"Go away."

"You know I won't do that." When she didn't answer, I continued to speak. "If you don't open this door I'll break it down."

"I'm naked."

"You're lying. Come on, please open the door." She sniffled but didn't answer. "Bella, please." A few minutes later the door swung open, and her wide, blood-shot eyes met mine.

"I don't like it when you call me that."

"Call you what?" Biting her lip, she turned and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Bella."

"Did I just hear you correctly? Bella Swan wants me to call her baby?" I closed the door and sat down next to her. She ignored me, pouting her lip and fiddling with the edge of her flannel. "Come on, pouty. I know you love it."

"Get out of here, cheesehead."

"Who are you calling a cheesehead?" In seconds I was tickling her sides, running my long fingers over the fabric of her shirt. Bella tried to bite her lip and hold in her laughter, but as I continued my assault she burst into a fit of giggles. Instead of tears of pain, now tears of happiness ran down her cheeks, and I couldn't but laugh with her.

"Stop, p-please! I'm sorry!"

"Call yourself a cheesehead."

"What? No!" She tried to wrestle out of my arms to no avail. "Stop, Embry!"

"Say it!"

"Never!"

"Say it, baby!"

"Fine! I'm a cheesehead!"

"What was that? I couldn't hear you that well."

"Embry, seriously!"

"Okay, okay. You win." When my fingers stilled, she wheezed in my arms and smiled up at me. We stayed that for a while, her wide, chocolate eyes almost staring through me.

"Thank you, Embry."

"For what, sweetheart?"

"For just being you." With a breathless laugh, she pulled my face to hers and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.

It felt like heaven had opened its gates and dropped its best angel in my lap.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

The lunch table was still split; one side that accepted me back, while the other tried to ignore my presence as best they can. It was hard to ignore, but I tried my best as Angela informed me of the game night that her friend Riley was planning. We didn't speak of dinner, or of her coming out. I had a feeling that I was the only one that she had told.

"She used to go to school with us before she moved to Seattle, but we only get together every now and then because she's always busy with her new friends."

"Do you think she'd mind if I came?"

"Not at all, I've told her about you already. She's been wanting to meet you for a while."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you both have a lot of similar interests. I think you both would hit it off."

"Riley and Bella?" Lauren guffawed. "Yeah right."

Jessica nodded in agreement. "No offense, Bella, but Riley's sort of-"

"Cooler, sportier…" Her voice took on an icy tone. " _Prettier_."

"Hey, Bella's pretty too!"

"Yeah, but-"

"I agree with Angela. Riley may be gorgeous, but Bella is too." Mike cut in after swallowing the last bite of his sandwich. He sent me a kind smile and I returned it.

I took a sip of my water bottle before answering. "Thank you."

"Yeah, Mike. _Thank you_." Jessica bit out before standing up and leaving, followed by Jessica. Mike just rolled his eyes and stood up to follow them both, no doubt having to calm the jealous girl's nerves.

The rest of us ate in silence until the bell rang, and then Angela and I walked to class together.

The day felt like it was taking forever, no matter how much I wished it end.

I only hoped Embry's was turning out better.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

The school day seemed to drag on forever, especially with Quil sending me dirty looks and Jacob attempting to talk to me. I stuck to Paul's side most of the day, and then we walked together to Sam's.

"So, you and the leech lover, huh?"

"Mhm."

"I'm surprised Jake didn't kick your ass."

"Leah would probably kick his first."

"True, true." He paused for a second before continuing. "How'd it happen?"

"I went to see if she was alright, and the rest if history." My mind flooded with our make out session this morning, and my cheeks reddened. Paul looked over and burst into laughter before punching my shoulder.

"His loss, your gain, right?"

"Hell yeah." Our conversation ended when we walked through Sam's door, and Paul ran to the kitchen. I sat down next to Sam on the couch, leaning back with a grunt of exhaustion.

"Long day?"

"You could say that." Emily entered the living room and handed me a glass of sweet ice tea before disappearing again. I gulped half of it down before taking a deep breath. "What did you guys want to give me."

"Well, you know how I finally got my motorcycle fixed?" I nodded and he continued. "I don't get to use it that often, and what with your situation, Emily and I decided that you should have it."

"What?" He was giving me his motorcycle?

Was I dreaming? I pinched myself and hissed at the pain.

"You're not dreaming, you idiot." Sam sighed before handing me a key. "She's all yours, just take care of her. And drive safe."

Emily yelled from the kitchen with authority. "There are two helmets out there with your name on them.

I felt my eyes fill with tears, and I quickly blinked them away and coughed into my hand.

 _It was great to have people care for my wellbeing for a change._

"You better hurry home and finish your homework. Remember, you have patrol at nine!"

"Don't skip again, asshole! If I have to deal with Quil's stupid ass again, I'm going to tear his throat out!"

I laughed and stood up, slipping my backpack on both of my shoulders. "I'll be there, don't worry."

The motorcycle was parked on the side, with black helmets on it. I slid one into my backpack before putting the other on and sliding the key in.

It roared to life, and I sped off. My heart was beating out my chest, and I felt so happy.

 _When was the last time life had been so good to me?_

* * *

"A motorcycle." Charlie deadpanned as I stepped into the door, giving me a long stare. I twitched nervously in my spot.

"Sam and Emily gave it to me because I don't have a way to school."

"You better have a helmet.

"Two, actually, Chief." He thought for a moment, grumbling and murmuring to himself. When he finally looked back up at me, I could have sworn I felt my heart stop in my chest.

"Just be safe, okay?"

"Of course."

"Go on upstairs and do your homework. Bella's been waiting for you." I nodded and started to head for the stairs but stopped and turned back towards Charlie. He gave me a confused look. "What is it?"

"Thank you, Chief."

"For what?"

"For everything." He blushed similarly to Bella and laughed awkwardly before nodding.

"You're welcome."

When I finally made it to Bella's room I found her laying on her bed with a textbook open and her pencil scribbling into a worksheet.

"Working hard, or hardly working?" She jumped at the sound of my voice but quickly relaxed when she saw who it was.

"Working hard, of course. How was school?"

I gave her a shrug before sliding my backpack off and laying on her bed. "It was school." I kicked off my shoes and pulled her into my arms, wrapping my legs around her tiny ones. "How was it for you?"

"It was school." She let go of her pencil and pulled me close, her face disappearing into my chest. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, baby."

"I was invited to a game night at Angela's friend Riley's house." She laughed nervously. "I guess she wants to meet me."

"That sounds like fun, I bet she's cool."

"Will you come with me?" Bella raised her head from my chest and looked at me pleadingly.

"If you want me to."

"Thank you, it really means a lot." She kissed me softly, sliding her tongue into my mouth and tasting me. We kissed for a few seconds before she started to pull away, but and I pulled her back and kissed her roughly.

Somehow, I ended up on top of her, my hands tangled in her hair as she sucked on my tongue. Without meaning to, I groaned and rubbed up against her.

"You're so beautiful, baby." I kissed down her neck and she shuddered. With a soft moan, her fingers dug into my back. "I can't believe I'm kissing such a gorgeous girl right now."

"E-Embry."

"What is it?" A choked moan left my lips as she rubbed back against me and pulled my mouth back to hers. I was on cloud nine; my mind was foggy and half of me wanted to rip her clothes off and make love to her, while the other wanted to take thing slow.

I went with the second option, and after another taste of her sweet mouth, I pulled away from her.

"We need to slow down, baby." I shuddered as she rubbed against me again. "Why don't we work on some homework?"

"I don't want to work on homework. I want to keep kissing you."

"I don't think I can control myself if you keep kissing me like that, Bella."

She blushed, but then leaned up and started to kiss up my neck urgently. "What if I don't want you to control yourself?" Her teeth nipped at my earlobe, and I nearly exploded.

"Baby, please. I'm begging you."

"That's the idea, isn't it?" Her words made me moan again, and without thinking I grabbed her face and smashed my lips to hers. My brain screamed to stop, but everything else urged me on.

"F-fuck, baby, please." Her hands traveled up my shirt and grazed my abs. I twitched in my pants and fought to keep control.

 _Come on, Embry. You're strong, you can do this._

"Please, Embry." She sucked at my neck. "Touch me."

 _Fuck, no. You're strong, you're strong, you're-_

One of her hands left my shirt and entered my jeans and boxers. She grabbed my length softly with her small hand, and I felt my control start to snap. I whined pathetically in her neck.

"Do you really want me to stop?" She whispered in a quiet voice. "I will stop if you want me to. I won't push you into something you aren't comfortable with."

"I'm worried about you being comfortable with this." Absentmindedly I rubbed myself into her hand and moaned. "W-we've been moving fast already, and I don't want you to think that this is what I'm here for."

"I-I know you aren't." She rubbed at me again, but I could tell something was off. I bit my lip and pulled her hand out of my jeans. It was time suck it up and do what needed to be done.

"Let's just stick to kissing for now, okay?"

"Okay." She pulled me into a hug, and I swallowed as her body pressed against mine. I'd have to take care of myself in the shower later. "Thank you, Embry."

"For what, baby?"

"For being you." Without another word, I rolled us onto our sides and kissed her lips again before pulling her into my chest. She snuggled in immediately, and all was right with the world again.

I hoped it would last for a very long time.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

Tuesday afternoon, I sat in Dr. Garrity's office again. She looked at me with serious blue eyes, her pen scribbling in her notebook.

I felt uncomfortable. What was she writing about me?

"How have you been, Bella?"

"I've been okay."

"You seem happier."

"I guess."

"Has anything new happened?"

"Well, Embry moved in with me. He was having problems at home, and when Charlie found out, he told him he had to stay."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"I like having him around." My face tinged pink as I continued. "We've been kissing a lot."

"Kissing?"

"Yes. I tried to go farther last night, but he stopped me. He didn't want me to think that was what he was there."

"That was smart of him."

"I don't know what came over me. I just wanted to be close, you know? I wanted to feel connected to him."

"Its perfectly normal to feel that way, Bella." She sent me a small smile. "Has anything else happened?"

A memory branded itself in my mind, and I shuddered.

"One of your secretaries has been talking about my personal life."

"What do you mean?"

"I went over to my friend Angela Weber's house for dinner, and her father said that Angela's mother's friend worked as a secretary here and told them all about me." I looked down at my Chuck Taylor's and sucked in a haggard breath. "Her dad kept asking me about self-harming and making me feel stupid for being depressed." Dr. Garrity was silent for a moment.

"Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Bella. I will find out who this was and make sure they are taken care of. Would you like to take legal action?"

"My dad does, but I just want to forget about this. I'm past it already." She nodded for a second, and I felt my stomach start to turn into knots. The room was starting to feel small and tight.

"Are you okay?"

"Its so stupid, you know? People keep making decisions for me. First Edward, then Jacob, and even Embry and Charlie do it." I grumbled and wiped my sweaty brow with my jacket sleeve. "I'm an adult, I think I know how to make my own decisions."

"Have you told Embry and Charlie this?"

"Not really."

"And why is that?"

"Most of what they're doing is good for me, like taking me out to have fun or stopping me from doing something stupid. But then there are other things that I feel differently about." I could feel my heart pounding in my ear, and my mouth felt dry like sandpaper. "I don't want to press charges, I don't care about that. I just want to focus on getting better."

"After our session, I'd like for you to sit down with your father and Embry and discuss this with them. Set some ground rules, put your foot down. Don't be afraid to fight for what you want and let your voice be heard."

"What if they don't listen?"

"Then I'll talk to them about it. You feel very strongly about this, and what they are doing could be detrimental to your recovery." Dr. Garrity reached over to her desk behind her and pulled out a gray journal with a gray band holding it shut. "Here, this is for you. I'd like for you to start writing in it every day. You could do it before school, or even before you go to bed. What's best for you."

I took it from her outstretched hands and stared down at the thick book.

"I don't know what I would write."

"How you're feeling, or what happened that day. You can even write down your dreams or a nice recipe you've learned." I nodded and attempted to give her a smile. "Okay, that'll be it for today. Same time next week?"

"Yes, same time next week." We said our goodbyes and I made another appointment at the front desk.

Embry waited outside of my truck, leaning against the side with his arms crossed. I jumped into his arms and wrapped my arms tightly around him, breathing in his calming smell.

"What's this?" He nodded towards the journal in my hands.

"My therapist wants me to start writing in it every day."

"That sounds awesome. Maybe I could get one of those and we could do it together." I grinned and pulled him into a soft kiss.

"That'd be nice." We stood like that for a while, just basking in each other. He looked deep into my eyes and a beautiful smile graced his face. "Have I told you how cute you are today?"

"Hey, that's my line!"

"Just kiss me again, you cheesehead."

"Alright, your highness." I relaxed as his lips pressed against mine again, smiling against his mouth. When I was in his arms, everything felt like it would be okay. Maybe for a second, I could distract myself with this beautiful boy. Maybe I could even be happy.

He moaned against my lips, and I kissed him back harder.

 _Gosh, I hoped I could be happy with him by my side._


	8. Chapter Seven: Reflections

_**A/N:** Hey everyone, I'm back with another chapter of DA! This is a little different, but I felt like you should see some of the other's point of views. I hope you enjoy it! Be sure to review or PM me if you have any suggestions or comments! Okay, on with the story! Happy reading!_

 **WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE, MANIPULATION, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, TRIGGERING IMAGERY, AND ADULT IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Seven.

* * *

 _Jacob's POV:_

How could she do this to me? I gave her my heart and she rips it to shreds. She goes and makes out with my best friend, a boy that was like a brother to me. How pathetic can you get?

She was angry at me because of Leah, I get that. But I had no control over it! Now she's going to break Embry's heart too. All she cared about were the stupid Cullen's and her true love Edweird.

"You okay? You're trembling." Leah asked in confusion, lifting her head from my chest to meet my eyes. Immediately I calmed down. She always did that to me.

She was so beautiful; the softest and prettiest hair that had been cut to her shoulders, full pretty pink lips I loved kissing, and dark eyes I got lost in. I loved Leah, she was my perfect match; my soulmate.

But I still thought of Bella from time to time.

"Yeah, I'm okay." She opened her mouth to speak again but then her alarm rang.

"Crap, I'm sorry. I have to leave for work."

"Already? You just got here."

"I've been here since last night, Jake," I grumbled and pulled back down to bed before pressing my lips to hers. One thing led to another and her hand ended up in my hair while I dove into her jeans to grab her butt. We pulled away and panted before she quickly pushed herself off me again and pulled off her sweater.

When her work shirt was on she grabbed her keys and blew me a kiss before exiting my room. A few minutes later she left the house and I was left to ponder my thoughts again.

How did Bella and Embry become so close? Bella had never even attempted to kiss me. We held hands a few times, but she always kept me at arms-length.

She said that she was ready to give us a try, but I knew it was all for show. She never wanted to be with me. And she never had the decency to let me go.

It was a pure luck that I had Leah now. I was much happier with her.

As the birds chirped outside and the waves crashed on the beach ways away, my heart clenched in my chest and my head started to hurt. What was this feeling? Not heartbreak, but maybe disappointment?

I didn't really matter, anyway. I had Leah now.

 _Leah, Leah, Leah_. Her name was like a song I never wanted to stop singing.

But even as I rejected the thought, Bella was still a tune that struck a cord in my heart too.

* * *

 _Quil's POV:_

That asshole! I try to show the pack what Embry was doing, and I get in trouble? He was the one fraternizing with the leech lover! He was making out with her! How come I got the short end of the stick? And why was he kissing her anyway? She was smoking hot, I'll give her that, but she ripped Jake's heart out and then expected him to be there for her when she finally woke up from her wallowing.

Paul chose that moment to barge in and yell. _"Can you shut the fuck up? You're whining is making it hard not to beat your ass."_

 _"Why am I the only one freaking out over this? He's literally sleeping with the enemy!"_

 _"They're not sleeping together, you idiot. And it's not a big deal. Have you forgotten that the leech's abandoned her? You should know how that feels."_

 _"Shut the fuck up! That was totally different."_

 _"Was it? I remember Bella giving you a ride home after you started crying because Jacob and Embry ran from you. Imagine how she felt when that boyfriend of hers dumped her and left her in the woods alone and unprotected. She got hypothermia and didn't talk to anyone for months."_ Guilt filled my body and whined pathetically.

He was right. There was no point in my judging her. Life dealt her a bad hand and now she was just dealing with the fallout. I wouldn't fault her for trying to move on.

 _"Jacob is happy with Lee now, and if Embry decides to make it official with Bella we should support him too,"_ Paul exclaimed with bark.

 _"When did you become so philosophical?"_

 _"I've always been this way, my young Padawan."_ I rolled my eyes.

 _"Never mind, I take it back."_

 _"You can't do that!"_

 _"Can too!"_

 _"Cannot!"_

 _"Can too!"_

 _"Cannot!"_

We bickered back and forth as usual, but unbeknownst to us people watched from the shadows, waiting for the right moment to pounce. Not noticing them would become fatal.

* * *

 _Tiffany Call's POV:_

My shift at the factory ended hours ago, and here I sit in my recliner waiting for my son to come home from whatever mess he's got himself in to. It wasn't a rare occurrence for him to be out for days on end, but after investigating his room I found all his stuff gone. _What kind of shit was he pulling now?_

I quickly dialed his cell phone and he answered on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" There was a moment of silence before he answered.

"I moved out." _Moved out? Excuse me? Hell no._

"You're sixteen! You can't move out!"

"I did."

"Tell me where you are right now or so help me I'll-" I was cut off by the dial tone. With a grunt of frustration, I slammed the phone back into place before punching the wall. "Stupid ass! Why the fuck did I raise you when you always disappoint me!"

What was the point of being kicked out by my family when I chose to keep him?

If only I hadn't slept with that asshole. None of this would have happened if I hadn't made that stupid mistake.

" _I can't feel you through a condom. Don't you want me to feel good too?"_

I was young and naïve. I paid for my decision to this day.

Embry used to be such a good kid, my sweet soldier that I confided all my trouble in. I rarely had to spank him or raise my voice. Until he joined Sam Uley's gang.

They were all on steroids. They had to be. How else did they all beef up so fast?

And he was out all night and lied about where he was. I was at my wit's end.

Did he even think of me, his mother? How this made me look? _The mother of a thug_.

I sat down at the kitchen table and put my head in my hands.

This couldn't go on any longer. I wasn't going to let him ruin my reputation like this. Jason had been begging me to move in with him in Tacoma. Maybe it would be good for Embry. A nice change of scenery and a distance from all the bad influences.

I breathed deeply in and out before laying my head on my arms and closing my eyes.

This was the only way I could stop him from messing everything up. He wasn't stupid, he could do things and go places. Embry would be able to get a good job and support me in my old age one day.

Tacoma it is then. I just had to find out where he was. Once mommy found him, we'd leave this wretched reservation and never look back. I was sure of it.

* * *

 _Charlie's POV:_

It was a slow day. A few kids went over the speed limit, someone's car got broken into, but thankfully the woman had been caught and the items were returned. One runaway.

Looking through the file in hand, I rubbed a hand over my face.

Embry Wayne Call, age sixteen.

This hadn't been the first time he had run away.

But this was the first time he was staying with the chief of police in Forks, Washington.

His mother had abused him, not only mentally but physically. But Embry's bruises had all but disappeared and it was his word against hers. We had taken pictures, but a lawyer could say that they were "edited".

The phone rang suddenly, pulling me from my ponderings. I answered the call on the second ring.

"Chief Swan, speaking."

"I know you have my son!" Her voice was like a banshee and I pulled the phone away from my ear with a wince.

"Who is this?"

"Tiffany Elaine Call, obviously. Return my son or I will have you arrested for child abduction."

"I guess I'll have to get a warrant for child endangerment and neglect for you, Ms. Call."

"Excuse me? I would never!"

"I have evidence. I can get you booked without bail real quick. Don't push me."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, it's a promise." I hung up the phone and looked down at the file before sighing.

I couldn't let him go back to that house, to that woman. Something needed to be done, and fast.

His life depended on it.


	9. Chapter Eight: Standing Up For Thyself

**WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, TRIGGERING IMAGERY, AND ADULT IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Eight.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

We sat around the table, just staring at each other. I had a million thoughts running through but my head, but every time I went to speak my mind would go blank.

"I-I've gathered you both here today because my therapist said that I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it, Bells?"

"If I'm not comfortable with something, I don't have to do it." I took in a deep breath and shut my eyes. "I don't want to press charges." My chest felt so tight and everything around me was overwhelming.

"Bella, we need to-" I smacked my hands against the table and his words cut off immediately.

"No! I won't, I don't want to. I'm not comfortable doing that. It will not further my happiness." Taking a deep breath, I finally opened my eyes again to see Embry and Charlie's expressions. Charlie's was shock, while Embry looked enthused.

With a swallow of Coffee and a few minutes of silence, Charlie finally agreed. "Okay, we won't."

"Thank you."

"Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"Angela's friend Riley is having a small get together on Friday night and I was invited. Do you mind if I go?"

"Have at it. I'm just happy you're spending time with your friends again."

"That's a weight off my shoulders then. If you'll excuse us, I told Embry I'd help him with his geometry homework."

"But I don't even have-"

"Yes, very important geometry homework." I threatened, and he zipped his lips before letting my drag him upstairs.

Dad just sighed and shook at our retreating forms. "Kids, what can you do?"

* * *

The next morning, I sat at the breakfast table with a plate of toasted pop tarts and the journal in front of me. Embry was in the middle of chowing down three packs of pop tarts and a large glass of milk. Dad had left for work before we had woken up, which was fine to me. The fewer people distracting me, the better.

"What does she want you to write in it, anyway?" He asked with a mouthful of food and I wrinkled my nose at him.

"Anything really. How I feel, what I did, cool things I find."

"I guess you'll be writing about me, then. I wouldn't blame you."

"Shut up, cheesehead. You're distracting me."

"Who you calling a cheesehead? Last night you were pretty cheesy yourself."

"That never happened!"

"Need I remind you of how beautiful you said I was when you were kissing on my neck, baby?" Embry teased, and I bite my lip as my cheeks flushed red.

"You're so distracting."

"You love it."

I did, I really did. But that didn't matter right now.

Shaking my head, I went back to the task at hand and picked up the pen before starting to write a few random lines.

 _Dear Whoever it may concern,_

 _My therapist has given me this journal to write in my thoughts and feelings. I'm not very good at that. Maybe it was a mistake to accept the gift?_

With a sigh of defeat, I threw the pen and lay my head in my hands.

"Come on, it can't be that difficult."

"I don't know what to write or even how much I have to write."

"Just take it slow. Write a little bit and then every day you can try to add a little more." Embry leaned over and kissed my forehead before taking my face in his hands. "Don't stress too much. This is just something to help you open up about what you're feeling."

"Thank you."

"Anytime, sweetheart." He pressed a kiss to my lips before pulling back and standing up from the table. After washing his plate, he made his way upstairs to get ready for school.

I took in another deep breath before picking up my pen and attempting to write something down in the journal.

 _I hope he's right about this_ , I thought to myself, _but I had a good feeling that he was._

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

I had never been so bored in my life. Bella and I sat in the basement of the famous Riley Winters on Friday night, watching as Angela Weber and some nerdy guy play video games. I think his name was Erin?

Or was it Eric?

Honestly, I didn't care at all. This night had gotten progressively worse as it continued, and Bella and Riley had barely spoken to each other without two mean girls butting in. And speaking of mean girls, we were dealing with one of them right now.

"So, Bella…" Jessica Stanley trailed off as she faced her on the couch, legs criss-cross applesauce and hands holding her ankles. "Who's this?"

"Embry Call, he's a friend of Jake's."

"Nice to meet you, Embry. You're very…" She gave me a look over and bit her lip. "Damn."

"Thanks?"

"Hey, I think Mike is calling for you. Said something about running out of onion dip?" Angela cut in with a grin, and immediately Jessica jumped up and up the basement stairs.

"Damn him, I knew we should have brought more!"

"Thanks for being our savior, Angela. We owe you." Bella exclaimed before leaning into my chest with a relaxed smile. Angela just brushed her hair back and waved us off.

"No problem, that conversation was going downhill before it even started." Her eyes turned back to Mario Kart with a determined look.

"No doubt. I can't believe she was hitting on your boyfriend right in front of you, B. If it had been the other way around, all hell would break loose."

"Oh, he's not my-" She tried to cut in, but they had already been sucked into the game again. "Why do I even try?"

"It's okay, baby." I rubbed her shoulder with the arm I had around her and kissed her forehead. At my movement, the infamous Lauren Mallory gawked and left her group at the pool table to come sit next to us.

I smell trouble afoot.

"Emby, hey. Didn't expect to see you here." She had a can of beer in her hands, and her words were already slurring. "How's Pauly doing?"

"He's fine, I guess."

"He still hasn't called me back… I don't know why I was the best he ever had!" Bella and I exchanged glances. "I don't even care, anyway. I have Ty-Ty and he's way better."

Bella leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Somehow I doubt that."

"Hey, Swan! What are you guys whispering to each other!" Lauren spat before chugging the rest of her beer. Crushing it in her hand, she threw it towards the trash can and it made it in. "You're so fucking fake, and everyone knows it."

"Lauren, seriously?" Angela paused the game and turned towards her friend with a look of disappointment, but Lauren just waved her off with a flick of her wrist.

"Stay out of this, lesbian. We know you're in love with Bella and all that, so you don't need to tell us twice."

Immediately Angela's face turned to stone, and she stood up and flew up the stairs. Lauren giggled as the boy, Erin or Eric, followed her.

From across the room Riley took in the scene and followed the other two up the stairs with worried eyes. The rest of the partygoers ignored the drama.

Bella's body tensed and when I looked down, I swear my dick twitched in my pants at the sight of her.

She was so angry, angrier than I had ever seen her. With her wide eyes narrowed into slits, she sat up on my lap and faced Lauren head on.

"Just because you're jealous of others, doesn't mean you can talk crap about them. I'm sorry that your life is so horrible that you need to put down others to feel better about yourself, but I swear if you ever mess with my friend again I'll beat your ass faster than you can blink." The words left her mouth so fast, she even seemed shocked.

Lauren blinked for a second before her fishy green eyes became aflame. "How dare you talk to me like that-"

"Why don't you do us both a favor and go back to playing pool before I do something I regret." They stared at each other for a few more seconds, and I was seriously considering what would happen if Bella got in a fight in this basement of someone's else's home whom she had never met, and then Lauren slowly stood up and walked back over to the pool table without a word.

Bella breathed in deeply through her nose and rubbed a hand over her face as if it would relieve her stress.

"You really bit into her, baby."

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Don't be, it seems like she had it coming, anyway." I leaned over and whispered lowly in her ear. "And you looked so beautiful snapping at her like that."

"Embry…" She whined and tried to cover her blushing face, but I pulled her hands away and pressed a kiss to her pouty lips.

"You know, we don't have to stay here."

"Are you implying that we ditch?"

"Angela and Riley already did. It's not even a party anymore, just a contest on who can make Bella cry first." Bella raised an eyebrow at me, so I grabbed her hand and gave her my best puppy dog eyes. "Come on, they won't even miss us. Let's go back to yours and order a pizza and gossip all night."

"Okay, but only because you're so cute."

"That's my girl." The others were too preoccupied with each other to notice much else, so we quickly stood up and slipped out the door.

Once we were back inside the truck, I trapped against the truck door and kissed her until she was breathless.

"What was that for?"

"For just being you."

We drove by Caesar's and picked up a hot and ready pepperoni before arriving back home. Charlie was working late and wouldn't be home for dinner, so we snuck it upstairs.

While on her second slice, Bella looked at me and asked, "So, I've been thinking long and hard about this."

"That's what she said." She gave me a pointed look. "Sorry, sorry."

"Anyway, I've noticed that we've never really taken the time to know each other. I barely know anything about you, Embry." Her empty hand grabbed mine. "But I want to."

"W-what do you want to know?"

"Favorite color, food, animal, number, band, song, movie, actors-"

"Whoa, whoa. Slow down. One question at a time." She was growing redder by the second. "But if you must know: green, hamburgers and grilled cheese, a tiger, seven, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Turn Me Loose by Loverboy, Ghostbusters, and Bill Murray and Ellen Page."

"Do you want me to tell you mine?"

"I'd be insulted if you didn't."

"Okay." She smiled, and it reached her eyes. "I don't really have a favorite color but I like brown, pizza, I guess guinea pigs, eighty-seven, Linkin Park, Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison, the nineteen-sixty-eight version of Romeo and Juliet, and Anne Hathaway."

"What are your hobbies?" I inquired before shoving a piece of pizza in my mouth.

"Reading, cooking, doodling. In all honesty, I don't do much." She thought for a second before a light bulb went off. "Oh! I like to travel."

"Where do you like to travel?"

"Hey! It's my turn to ask you something."

"Sorry, sorry."

"What are your hobbies?"

"Uhm, well, I enjoy swimming, surfing, listening to music, playing games, fishing, riding dirt bikes, and fixing cars."

"You have so many." She said in awed amazement, and I couldn't help but chuckle at her.

"Hey, it's okay that you don't have that many hobbies. It will give us something to do together. I'll help you find things you like."

"Maybe we could start tomorrow?"

"Sounds like a plan, man." Bella's face suddenly turned sad. As my mood started to sour, I felt like I was getting whiplash. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I should have checked on Angela before I left."

"Baby, don't worry about it. She had already left by the time we did, anyway."

"What, how do you know?"

"Sensitive hearing." Her smile quickly returned, and I finished the rest of my pizza slice. "Speaking of wolf hearing, I have to patrol soon."

"Nine, right?"

"Mhm. I'll be back at three."

"Are you going to tell Paul about Lauren asking about him."

"Yeah, but he probably won't care. Its been over a year since they hooked up. Not sure why she's still stuck up on it."

"I understand where she's coming from, I guess. When someone touches your heart a certain way, its hard to move on from it." Absentmindedly she pressed a hand to her chest and took in a shaky breath. I watched her with sad eyes, suddenly feeling helpless. When she looked back at me again, a small smile graced her pretty face and eased some of my worries. "But it's not impossible to move forward."

"Do you want to talk about him?"

"Which one?"

"Edward." A tortured look crossed her features. "We don't have to, but I know it isn't good to hold it inside." When she didn't answer, I continued to ramble. "I'm sorry, I probably just ruined your good mood and I-"

"It's okay. It would be nice to talk about it with someone."

"How did you meet him?"

"During my first day at school, he caught my eye. He was so beautiful. We ended up having Biology together, but for some reason, he acted very rude towards me and tried to ignore me." Her voice took on a sad tone. "I hadn't known it at the time, but he was trying not to kill me."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes a vampire meets a human whose blood smells better than anything they've ever tasted. They call them their singers. Most don't make it out alive." Bella took in a shaky breath. "I guess I'm lucky, right? I survived…" I went to reach for her hand, but she pulled away from me. "Sometimes I wish he would have gone through with it. At least I wouldn't have had to deal with this pain."

"Where would I be if you had been sucked dry? Bella, you're one of the best things to happen to me."

"You don't mean that."

"I do."

"Why? I'm not important. I don't make an impact."

"Now you know that isn't true. If you weren't around, I'd still be in that house." I pulled her into my lap and kissed the top of her head. "You saved me, Bella, in more ways than one."

"The only reason you're here is because you feel bad for me."

"That's not true."

"If you didn't catch me on that cliff, none of this would exist."

"How do you think I found out where you were? I went to your house first."

"W-what?"

"I was coming over anyway to spend time with you."

"You're lying."

"I'm not. I really did come over to see you." A blush covered his face and he scratched the back off his neck awkwardly. "Honestly, I thought I might be able to ask you on a date…"

"A date? With me?"

"Stupid, huh? I know, I wouldn't want to go on a date with me either." I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly.

"No! I just don't understand why you would want to go on a date with me."

"Have you ever seen yourself before?"

"Well yeah, I own a mirror."

"No, I mean have you really seen yourself? Like really looked?"

"There's not much to see. I'm just plain ole Bella."

"You're much more than that, baby. And I'm going to do everything in my power to help you see your true self." I pulled her into a kiss that soon turned wild. The pizza was forgotten, and I pulled her into my arms.

 _This was heaven_ , I thought, _in her arms, I feel at peace._

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

The weekend came and went, and Monday afternoon Angela and I sat at a table at McDonald's in Port Angeles, picking at our food. We still hadn't talked much since the party, and Angela looked like the weight of the world sat on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry-"

"Lauren was such a-"

They both stopped speaking and burst into giggles, the tense air dissipating.

"You can go first." She exclaimed.

"I'm sorry for leaving game night."

"It's okay. I'm sorry you had to deal with them all night."

"It wasn't that bad. I was more worried about you, though."

"Everyone knows now… Should have expected as much. Lauren has a huge mouth with secrets."

"Is everyone okay with it?"

"Yeah, except her. She keeps making tasteless jokes and offhand comments about it." She took a sip of her Coke. "I don't know what her problem is."

"Maybe she just needs some time?"

"I doubt it…"

"Well, either way, I have your back. I'll even be your wing girl and help you find a classy lady." Angela let out a giggle and shook her head at me.

"Thank you, Bella. I'm glad I have a friend like you."

"A best friend like me." I teased, and she laughed again.

"Of course, of course. A best friend like you." Another silence ensued and we both finished our food before leaving the restaurant. When we were sitting in her car, (the kind of car), she started talking.

"All drama aside, my dad's been coming around."

"Really?"

"Yes. He said he doesn't really get it, but we're all God's children and he has no right to judge me."

"That was big of him."

"I know. My mom has known for a while. Since before Ben and I broke up."

"How did you figure it out, anyway?"

"I was staying at Jessica's house a few months ago and we snuck a bottle of her mother's Smirnoff. One thing led to another and we ended up kissing." She bit her lip nervously and without thinking I grabbed her hand and squeezed to give her some strength. She smiled in thanks before continuing. "I had never felt that way with Ben. It was nice, of course, but nothing magical. Kissing Jessica was like drinking a nice glass of ice water after being in the desert for a week."

"Damn."

"I know. Sounds crazy, huh?"

"Not at all." The car fell into a comfortable silence as Angela's mind filled with thoughts and mine was empty of them. I watched as the world passed by.

It seemed like a blink of an eye that we made it back to my house, and with determination, I turned to Angela.

"I'm sorry for not being a good friend. I'm going to try a lot harder now to be there for you. If Lauren messes with you, let me know. I'll beat her ass."

Angela's eyes widened at my words and then fell into belly aching laughter. I couldn't help but follow suit.

"Bella, oh my gosh! You just-"

"I know!" After a few more minutes we finally calmed down and she pulled me into a tight hug. I returned it gratefully.

"Thank you, Bella. I love you."

"Love you too, Angie." We stayed like that for a while before saying our goodbyes. I waved as her car disappeared down the road and then entered the empty house. Embry was in La Push and then he had patrol duties. He probably wouldn't be back until three.

I sighed before going upstairs and sitting at my desk. The journal sat in front of me and I held a pen in my hand.

 _Dear Whoever it may concern,_

 _After school, I spent time with my best friend, Angela Weber. She's the sweetest and kindest soul I know. I'm going to help her get a girlfriend._

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

"Where are the peanut butter cookies I was promised? I had plans with this sexy senior and now my plans are for not." Quil drawled out from his spot on the couch. I rolled my eyes before turning towards Seth, who was pulling his long hair into a bun. He was the only one to keep his long hair after phasing; even Leah had her hair cut to her chin.

"They're in the oven still, you glutton," Emily yelled from the kitchen before appearing with a toddler on her hips. Rebecca Black and her surfer husband had come to visit Billy for a couple weeks, and tonight they had taken him out to dinner in Seattle. Emily had volunteered to babysit their twin boys, Joseph and Solomon. Sully screeched in her arms, while Joey crawled across the floor at hyper speed.

Paul leaned down and grabbed the chunky munchkin before placing him in his lap and blowing raspberries on his cheeks. Not many people knew it, but Paul had a major soft spot for children.

"Why do you think he called us here?" I exclaimed, and Seth shrugged.

"Maybe he found some new leads on the redhead."

"What if Emily's pregnant?" Collin questioned quietly from his seat on the floor, leaning his head on his knees. He had only phased a few days ago and still wasn't comfortable being around so many people.

"Emily's pregnant? Emmy, why didn't you tell me?" Jared questioned as he walked inside, followed by Jacob and Leah.

"Boy or girl?" Paul teased before tickling Joey's stomach. The toddler roared with laughter and tried to push Paul's hands away with his tiny fists, but nothing worked.

"Neither." Sam deadpanned before slumping into the recliner.

"Wow, so progressive, Sam. I didn't know you felt this way about gender roles." His finger's stilled and Joey leaned his head on Paul's broad chest before popping his thumb into his mouth. "What are you going to name them, Alex? They could go by Alexander or Alexandria."

"Shut up, Paul."

"What? I'm just saying."

Leah leaned in to whisper to Jacob. "I'm just surprised that he's so up to date on social issues."

"Hey! If there's a social issue, of course, I'm going to know about it."

"So, is Emily pregnant or not?"

"I'm not pregnant."

"Anyway, I've called you here today, because Jacob and I have been going over some plans."

"Plans for what?"

"Obviously, Sam is sterile, and they need Jacob's swimmers to knock Emily up."

"Do you ever think before speaking, or does dumb shit just fall out of your mouth?"

"Language," Emily warned.

"I can't believe Sam is sterile," Collin whispered, and Sam facepalmed.

"Our alpha, swimmer-less." Quil agreed.

"Why didn't you ask me to get Emily pregnant? I'm a young and strong stud. I mean, look at me." Jared exclaimed before posing.

"What about Kim?"

"She'd support Emmy and I's child."

"Yeah, suuure." I bit my lip to hold in my laughter as Sam facepalmed again.

"Anyway, we've decided to open our own garage."

"What, really?"

"Does that mean we get to work there?"

"How much are we getting paid?"

"Let the man speak, guys." Emily deadpanned with a roll of her eyes.

"To answer your questions, yes, we have, yes it does, and we still have to work out the details on a pay rate."

"Wow, this is so cool. I've never had a job." Collin whispered.

"Well, now you will. Of course, you and Seth won't be going near the actual vehicles."

"That's not fair! Jake's been teaching me all he knows!"

"You're only fourteen, Seth."

"I look way older."

"How many girls do you use that line on?" Leah teased.

"And how many girls turn you down?" Jacob continued. Seth just growled in reply before folding his arms over his chest. I looked over at him and started laughing, trying to cover my mouth to hold in my laughter to no avail. Sam rolled his eyes at us and grunted in agitation.

"I'm a babysitter for a bunch of kindergarteners."

"Hey, kindergarteners are much smarter then Quil!" Paul yelled before letting the squirming toddler in his arms back onto the floor. He took off at lightning speed.

"Shut the fuck up!" Quil barked back.

"Language!" Emily exclaimed from her spot and Quil apologized

The timer on the stove dinged and after depositing Sully into Sam's arms, Emily came back out with the plate of cookies which promptly shut the whole pack up. I looked around at everyone and felt my chest become warm.

This was my friends, my brothers, my pack. My family.

And I'd love them to my dying breath, even if they _were_ idiots most of the time.

I rolled my eyes as Quil choked on a mouthful of cookies and Jared smacked his back relentlessly.

 _Especially Quil._


	10. Chapter Nine: Am I My Mother?

**WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE, MANIPULATIONS, VIOLENCE, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, TRIGGERING IMAGERY, AND ADULT IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Nine.

* * *

 _Charlie's POV:_

Tiffany stood in my office with a grimace on her face. The curly haired woman was a walking and talking bubble of fury.

"We're moving to Tacoma this weekend."

"We?"

"Embry and I."

"That's funny because Embry is staying with me."

"I'm not going to let him become a degenerate!" Her face was red as a tomato and screwed in disdain. I had to bite my lip to hold in my laughter. She looked like a big red balloon ready to pop. To keep my composure, I swallowed and got down to the real business.

"Is that why you hit him?"

"Sparring the rod spoils the child."

"With sick thoughts like that its no wonder that Embry ran from home."

"You have no idea what he's put me through!"

"And you have no idea what you've put him through! Do him a favor and move to Tacoma by yourself. Let him stay with me."

"What? Are you crazy?"

"You won't have the responsibility of dealing with him anymore except for on paper. You'll be free to run off with your boyfriend and live happily ever after."

"I just can't abandon him."

"Tiffany, you won't be abandoning him. You'll both be better off." Tears appeared in her eyes and slowly rolled down her cheeks. She looked deep in thought. I leaned back in my chair and glanced at a picture of Bella that sat on my desk. She was twelve then with braces and a messy fringe.

She was the best thing to ever happen to me. I could never understand why someone would treat their child like they were an inconvenience.

"O-okay. I guess you're right." Tiffany wiped her eyes and nodded at me. "I'll bring his things over tonight."

"I'll send Embry and Bella out for ice cream."

"Thank you, Chief Swan."

"Don't thank me. I'm doing this for him, not you." She left my office and shut the door quietly. I breathed out the breath I was holding and felt a little weight lift from my shoulders. Maybe now he can get some piece of mind. Maybe he can start to heal like Bella is.

I gave the picture another glance before returning to my work, hopeful for the future.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

Nothing could prepare me for the sight of my mother with a box full of photo albums.

"You'll need these. I won't be returning to La Push." With a kiss on my cheek, she got back in her car and drove off. The box felt like it weighed a hundred pounds in my hands.

Won't be returning to La Push? What did she mean?

"Embry, who was at the door?" Charlie inquired.

"My mother," I whispered. He cursed under his breath and I felt my temper start to rise. I threw the box down and locked eyes on the chief. "Did you know she was coming?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want her to hurt you anymore."

"I guess you failed, then." I bit out. Bella appeared a few seconds later, worry etched on her features. When she tried to come towards me I stepped back. "I need to be alone."

"Embry, let me help you-"

"How can you help me when you can't even help yourself?"

"That was uncalled for." Was all she said before going back in the house. I swallowed the feeling of guilt away before jumping on the motorcycle and speeding off, my body trembling and my chest tight.

Fuck, my mother had abandoned me. She was gone.

Shouldn't I be happy? Why wasn't I happy?

It didn't take too long to get to La Push, to my old home. It was empty and locked up.

"What the fuck!" I screeched, not caring if the neighbors heard me. She had left me here while she moved away. She had abandoned me.

I sat on the porch steps and swallowed the cries that threatened to spill out.

Why the fuck am I sad? She's never done shit for me. I was just a burden to her.

I rubbed at my eyes pathetically as tears fell down my cheeks.

"Stop crying, stop crying."

"Embry?" I jumped at the sound of someone's voice and looked up. Jared and Kim stood there with worried expressions on their face. They walked over to me and Jared spoke again. "Buddy, what's wrong?"

"M-my mom moved to Tacoma."

"Without you?" I nodded and sobbed. Kim immediately gathered me into her arms and rubbed my back soothingly.

"It's going to be okay, let it out, let it out."

"Fuck, Em. Do you have someplace to stay? Are you still living at the Swan's?"

"You can stay with us, honey. It's no trouble." Kim had moved out of her parent's home when she turned sixteen and Jared's parents treated her like their own.

"Yeah, my sister's can all share a room."

"I'm still staying with Bella and the Chief."

"Oh yeah, I forgot. How is Bella by the way?"

"I-I fucked up. I hurt her feelings."

"It couldn't have been that bad."

"I asked her how she could help me when she couldn't help herself."

"Geesh, that's harsh, Em."

"I know! Fuck, I don't know what to do. She'll probably never talk to me again and then I'll be kicked out of their house and I'll be all alone again." As I started to cry again Jared pulled Kim and I in his arms and held us tight. "I don't want to be alone again."

"You won't be. You have us and the rest of the pack." We sat there for a while until my tears ceased and turned to sniffles. With a kiss on my forehead, Jared pulled away. "Come on, I'll drive you home."

"My bike-"

"We'll have Paul drop it off before patrol." Kim and I stood up and Jared wrapped an arm around me before leading me to his truck. It was a long ride home.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

When Embry returned home I served him lunch without a second glance and then went into my room. My feelings were hurt. I know he was in pain, but that didn't give him the right to be disrespectful.

I wasn't going to apologize for caring about him. He had been there for me through a lot and it was only fair that I returned the favor. That was what friends, or whatever we were, did.

Laying down on my stomach on my bed, I pulled out my copy of Wuthering Heights and lost myself in the words. I needed to disappear for a while.

Thirty minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder. Looking up, I caught eyes with Embry. He looked like he had been crying.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as tears fell down his cheeks. I sighed and put the book on the side table before pulling him into my arms. He cried into my chest and held on for dear life. "Please don't leave me."

"Never." Embry started to cry harder. I did the only thing I could think of to calm him down. _"And I'm gonna keep on lovin' you, cause it's the only thing I want to do. I don't want to sleep, I just want to keep on lovin' you."_ I ran a hand up and down his back and with the other one I played with his hair.

I stayed with him like that all night until he fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

 _Jacob's POV:_

Sitting down at the kitchen table, I dialed Embry's number from Leah's phone and waited. He had skipped the pack meeting and hadn't contacted anyone except for Sam in days. Sam refused to say anything, so I was getting to the bottom of it. I had suspicions that it was Bella's doing. She always hated when we risked out skins for her.

The phone rang a few times before a small voice asked, _"Hello?"_

"Bella?" Why was she answering his phone?

" _Baby, come back to bed."_ Embry groaned from the other end and a burst of rage filled my body. I hung up and lay the phone on the table, taking care to not crush it. Leah would be pissed if she had to pay for a new phone.

"Did he answer?" Leah asked as she entered the front door, her hair pulled back into a short ponytail and some dirt covering her cheek. She had been gardening all day.

"Mhm."

"Find anything out?"

"He's fucking Bella."

"W-what? What do you mean?"

"She answered his phone and I could hear Embry asking her to come back to bed in the background. They're fucking! I just know it." I slammed my fist on the table in agitation.

"Calm down! It's not the end of the world. So, what if they're having sex? It's not like we're not."

"You don't get it! She's using him."

"How so?"

"Why else would she be with him?"

"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe she actually likes him?"

"The only people she likes are the Cullen's and they're thankfully far far away from Washington."

"Ah, just forget about it. You have me now, don't you?" I shut my mouth and nodded, and a smile appeared on Leah's face. My stomach filled with butterflies. I loved her smile. "Come on, I need to shower, and I want you to join me."

"Gladly." Quickly we were both in the harsh stream from my shower with our clothes scattered across the floor. As her lips pressed against mine I felt all thoughts of Bella and Embry disappear from my head.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

My temporary hiatus from the pack was ended when Brady, a newly phased wolf, and Collin's best friend, caught her scent. After shoveling the rest of the contents of my plate into my mouth, I ran out the door and joined the chase. Thankfully Bella had been called in for work. After her attempts, she had talked to Mike and stopped working for a while. Now that she was out of the woods, she could start working again and the Newton's had welcomed her back with open arms.

The redhead bloodsucker ran through the trees at hyper speed, cackling maniacally. It almost like watching a stereotypical bad guy, except she was a girl and instead of telling us her evil plan and failing, she chose to just make our lives a living hell.

" _Seth, Brady, go north!"_

" _I don't know where north is!"_

" _Just follow Seth, sweetheart,"_ Leah exclaimed encouragingly.

" _Embry, Quil, catch her off guard towards the side!"_

" _Can do, captain!"_ Quil implored.

" _Paul, you and I will get her head on!"_ Paul growled in reply before running faster.

As she ran she made a crucial mistake and stepped on a fragile limb, sending her tumbling down. I caught her leg in my mouth and bit down.

"Nasty mutt!" She screeched before digging her nails deep into my snout. I howled in pain and let go. Quil attempted to bite her but was left chewing on air.

Paul's body catapulted at her and with the twist of her hands, she broke his arm. Then she disappeared into the canopy of trees. From the distance, we could hear a large splash from the water. We all phased back at once to regroup.

"Ah, fuck! We almost fucking had her! Mother fucking dammit!" Paul screeched as he stomped on the ground, holding his injured arm with his hand. "Fuck!"

"Calm down, dude. It's okay. We'll get her next time." I exclaimed as I put a hand on his shoulder, but he threw me off him with his good arm. He breathed in and out heavily, his body shaking in anger and pain.

"It's okay? Are you fucking mental? Has dating that leech fucker killed all the cells in your brain? None of this is okay! We're sixteen-years-old and we have to fight vampires because some bitch decided a tick would make the perfect boyfriend!"

"Don't talk about her like that!"

"Guys, why don't we just-"

"Stay out of this, Collin!" We both yelled before turning back to each other with sharp eyes.

"You think you're some hot shot because you're living with the Chief, huh? Why'd you move out of your moms anyway? Couldn't take the heat of not knowing who your dad is?" How did he know I was living with Bella? It was supposed to be a secret.

"You don't know shit."

"Boohoo, poor Embry, my mommy won't tell me who my daddy is so I'm going to run away. Cry a river, build a bridge, and get the fuck over it already."

"My mom beat the shit out of me all the time, just like yours did! You fucking asshole, shitting on me when you know _nothing_ about me. I went through hell! Don't fucking tell me shit about _me_!" My body was on autopilot as I stalked towards him. His eyes widened at my statement.

"E-Embry, man, I had no idea."

"I'll rip your fucking arm off if you don't shut your trap!"

"Guys, cool it-" Jacob tried to step between us but I shoved him out of the way before wrapping both of my hands around Paul's neck and squeezing. His eyes bugged out as I cut off his air supply, but I couldn't stop myself. I wasn't in control anymore.

He clawed at my arms with his good hand, but I just gripped him harder.

"Embry, let him go." Sam deadpanned.

"Stay out of this."

"Don't make me order you."

I roared and let go of him, but before Sam could stop me I tackled Paul to the ground and got in a few good punches. His blood splattered across my face and he howled in surprise and pain.

They finally pulled me off him and rushed to his aid, leaving me covered in red and trembling alone.

All except for Seth.

He walked over to me and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, and I gripped it tightly.

"Are you okay, Em?" I shook my head as a lump formed in my throat. "Come back to my house, you can take a shower and borrow something of mine to wear." I let him lead me away from the group, shaking like a leaf.

Was this what I had become? Some monster that beats people? Was I no better than my mother?

It was a miracle I didn't start bawling until I was alone in the shower, watching the blood swirl down the drain along with my dignity. I had attacked a pack member, busted his face. And for what? A few hurt words?

I cried openly into my hands and felt such self-hatred I thought I might combust.

I was no better than her. I knew he was angry and weak at that moment; he didn't mean what he said. But the adrenaline in my veins got the best of me and I snapped.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

After quickly washing my hair I stepped out to let myself air dry in the empty bathroom. My wolf heat worked in no time.

"Hey, I have some shorts and t-shirt for you." I opened the door and took the clothes from him before quickly pulling them on. I gave me a small smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Are you okay?"

"I lost it back there."

"He was out of line."

"That doesn't give me the right to attack him."

"It doesn't."

"I need to apologize." I went towards the door but he pulled me back.

"Woah, buddy. Just sit and relax for a while. Paul's going to be angry and in pain for a few hours still. Come on, why don't we talk for a bit." We sat down at the kitchen table across from each other.

"Talk about what?"

"Jacob called you a few nights ago and Bella answered. He thinks you're sleeping together."

"What?"

"After Sam and Jake got into an argument, Sam spilled the beans that you both lived together. Jake told the rest of the pack."

"Shit."

"I'm sorry, Em."

"It's fine. At least everyone knows now."

"Did she really do that to you?" I nodded. "Geesh, I'm sorry. No one should go through that."

"It's fine," I said again. "I'm in a better place now."

"You're making it sound like you're dead."

"Eh, sometimes I wish I was."

"Don't say that. We'd be devastated." I was about to refute his claim before looking into his eyes. They held a determination I had never seen.

"Thank you for being such a good friend, Seth."

"Don't mention, Em. I'm lucky to have you too."

"Hey, I never said I was lucky." I teased him, and he started laughing.

"Well, you didn't have to." We talked for a while, losing our stresses as we bonded. I wish it could always be like.

* * *

Sadly, our conversation was cut off as the front door opened and Jacob stepped inside.

He looked at me with hard eyes and I stared back defiantly.

"Can we talk for a second?"

"What is there to say?"

"Just come on." With a grunt, I followed him out the door into the woods. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was long enough to fall into his eyes.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Bella."

"Of course." I threw my hands up and then motioned him to continue. "Come on, I don't have all day."

"Em, listen to me. You shouldn't see her anymore-"

"Why?"

"She doesn't like you. She's just using you to get back at me!"

"Not everything is about you. You have no idea what goes on between us."

"What, did you put glitter on and fake vampire fangs and recite her stupid laments on why she's your soulmate? You and I both know she only cares about one person, and that's Edward Cullen."

"Fuck you. You're being a horrible friend."

"Takes one to know one. I guess you forgot about the bro code."

"Oooh, so that's what this is about. It's not about Bella using me, it's about you being jealous because she likes me!"

"No, it's not!"

"Why the fuck do you care? You have Leah now! Why can't you leave the poor girl alone?"

"Poor girl? I try everything to have her fall for me and a few days with you and you're already sleeping with her."

"I'm not sleeping with her. At least, not in that way. We're not even dating!"

"Well, you sure are something!"

"Yeah, she's mine! Not yours. So, get over it and grow up. You're the only one with a problem."

"Don't come crawling back when she breaks your heart."

"I won't have to." I left him fuming alone in the woods. Hopefully one day he got over his stupid crush on her. In the meantime, I had things to do. Number one on my list: apologize to Paul.


	11. Chapter Ten: Calm Before The Storm

**WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE, MANIPULATIONS, VIOLENCE, NEGLECT, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, TRIGGERING IMAGERY, AND ADULT IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Ten.

* * *

"You're lucky I love you or I'd rip your throat out for busting up my face." Paul exclaimed with a growl before pulling me into a tight embrace. His arm had fully healed hours ago and thankfully his temper had simmered down too. I hugged him back tightly in response, swallowing back emotion. "I didn't know about your mom, and I'm sorry you had to go through that shit." He pulled away and looked me in the eye with a hint of sadness. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"It didn't matter."

"Of course, it did. It always matters, Em. No one should be beat on or told they're nothing."

"Its fine, Paul-" I started to pull away, but he grabbed my face in his hands and shook his head.

"No, it's not fine. She never deserved you. You were the perfect son; perfect grades, never talked back, never got into trouble. You've never given her grief until you joined the pack and even then, you refused to tell her the pack secret because she was Makah and took the brunt of her anger."

It was all becoming too real as he kept talking, and I felt a flood of tears escape from my eyes. He was right, she never deserved me. I shouldn't have had to live like that for so long.

"Em, take it from someone who gets it. You deserve a family that loves and supports you. You deserve hugs and kisses and happiness. Don't let embarrassment or fear stop you. She's gone and can't hurt you. Live your life how you want now." His thumbs rubbed the tears from my cheeks before he pulled me back into his arms.

It was all too much, and I started to cry openly, bawling like a baby.

"Let it out. Your family is going to take care of you now." The pack was my family. Bella and Charlie were my family.

I dug my nails into Paul's back and hugged him tighter as I sobbed.

I had a family now. My mom was gone for good. I never had to see her again unless I chose to.

Time passed, I didn't know how long, and I finally stopped crying. Paul patted my back gently and we pulled away from each other. I could hear the pack inside the Uley house laughing and joking with each other.

"Come on, let's go eat some dinner and then I'll give you a ride home." He exclaimed before wrapping an arm around me and leading me towards the house. Towards my family.

My body filled with a warmth that I had never known. My heart started to feel whole for the first time in years.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

After locking up at Newton's, dad picked me up and we got dinner at the diner. Silently, we both chomped on thick burgers and salty fries. For weeks I had been eating nothing but hearty, filling meals and my body was filling out. After Edward had left I barely ate and lost twenty pounds. By now I had gained around thirty pounds and my ribs had stopped sticking out.

"How is school?"

"It's good. I'm excited to graduate."

"Any idea where you want to go to college?"

"I think I'm going to take a year off. Do some reflecting."

"Sounds like a plan. Our secretary at the station, Veronica, is going on maternity leave in June. Maybe you could fill in for her."

"That would be cool."

"It's Saturday and the night is still young. Got any plans?" I shook my head as I finished off my burger. "You talk to Jake recently?" His question made me freeze on the spot and I fought to keep my composure.

"No."

"I know you both had a falling out, but maybe you could talk to him."

"I'm not the one that's avoiding him. Maybe you should go down to La Push and try and get him to talk to me." I muttered angrily. Charlie's eyes widened at my tone.

"Woah there, no need to have an attitude."

"I don't."

"Yes, you do, Bells."

"Poor Jake, he's so heartbroken, isn't he? Dating Leah and having happily ever after with her? It's my fault, right? Always my fault when someone is unhappy."

"I didn't say that at all."

"You didn't have to. I remind myself every day."

"Bella, listen to me. It isn't your job to please everyone. You should just focus on healing."

I pursed my lips before replying, "That seems selfish."

"You've been doing things for people your whole life." A silence overtook the conversation and I thought about him for the first time without feeling empty inside.

"When I started dating Edward it was a breath of fresh air."

"How do you mean?"

"They took care of me. No one really ever has." I paused and sipped some of my soda. "I took care of mom and then I took care of you and for the first time, I was treated like the child that I am. I guess that was why I put up with Edward's treatment for so long." I had opened up to Dr. Garrity during our last session and had started to see that Edward and I's relationship was unhealthy.

We stayed silent for a while as he finished his foods. As he wiped his mouth free of crumbs and finished off the rest of his coke, he coughed and spoke again.

"I'll take care of you from now on."

"Dad, it's fine. I was just complaining about nothing-"

"You're my daughter, not the other way around. So please, let me fix what I've broken if only to help you. You're not obligated to do things for me anymore."

"You have no idea how to cook and I'm not letting you live on frozen pizza!"

"I'll have Sue and Joy teach me. I'm not a bad housekeeper either. Bella, why don't you just relax? You've been working so hard and its time for a break."

"I want to at least do something."

"How about we make a chore list for each of us? So that way its equal."

"Let me do the laundry. You always forget to use fabric softener."

"Fine, fine."

After paying the bill, my dad and I got back into his cruiser and made the drive home. I felt calmer than I had in a while.

* * *

 _Third person POV:_

The woman with flames for hair stocked towards her prey. Nineteen-years-old, black hair dyed a bleach blonde and chocolate brown eyes.

Victoria's hands clenched into fists and she scowled.

 _Like that blood bag, the Cullen's kept as a pet_.

She surveyed him from afar as he walked over to his car, intent on getting home after his two-hour night class and hour gym session had ended.

Riley Biers, who had a scholarship for football. Riley Biers, whose muscles rippled and who's sweat dripped down his forehead from an insane workout.

 _Yes_ , he was the perfect specimen. He would be a good follower.

Now all Victoria had to do was lay on the charm.

Brushing back some hair, she made sure her stolen baby pink blouse and tight ripped light wash skinny jeans were free of dirt and grime. With brown contacts intact, she sped away from the bush she was hiding in and quickly created a scene that she was walking out of class. In the dark of the night, she faked a trip and fell to the ground, a practiced whimper coming from her lips.

Immediately, Riley turned to see what had happened. Ever the gentleman, he ran over to the injured woman and helped her up.

"Woah there, are you alright?"

"Y-yes, thank you." Victoria acted timid and fragile and Riley couldn't help but lose himself in her wide eyes. He had never seen someone so pretty.

"You go here?"

"Mhm."

"I haven't seen you around."

"I've never seen you either. What are you going for?"

"I play football, but I'm majoring in business."

"I'm going for education."

"You want to be a teacher? That's great." His mom was a third-grade teacher and he loved her to pieces.

"Heh, yeah. I love children." That part wasn't a lie. Victoria felt tears cloud her vision, but she quickly blinked them away. Riley caught her sudden change of mood and looked down at her worriedly.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I just can't wait to educate the next generation." She wiped some dirt from her jeans and right on key, the minuscule speaker inside her shirt created a gurgle to stimulate stomach sounds. She giggled right on time, acting embarrassed. Riley chuckled in response.

"Hey, you wanna grab a bite to eat? I know a great sandwich shop with the best meatball subs."

"That sounds great, thank you." He led her to his car, a silver nineteen-ninety Honda Civic, and they drove off into the distance.

Victoria's mouth pulled into a wide, sinister grin. Riley hummed to the radio, oblivious to the danger he was in.

 _I'm coming for you blood bag,_ Victoria thought to herself. _James will get his reckoning. I'll make sure of it._


	12. Chapter Eleven: Hurt People Hurt People

**WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, SEXUAL ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE, MANIPULATIONS, VIOLENCE, NEGLECT, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, TRIGGERING IMAGERY, BODY SHAMING, BULLYING, AND ADULT IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Eleven.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

Riley Winters was a bubble of joy and excitement that took me completely off guard. At game night she was a bit closed off and distracted, but now that her eyes were focused on me she was like a breath of fresh air.

You could never be like that, a voice in my head snapped. You're nothing but a Debbie Downer who makes people nervous.

My heart plummeted but I ignored the comments and tried to join the conversation. Dr. Garrity had said that creating strong bonds and lasting friendships could be very beneficial for me.

"So, Angela tells me you like to read?" I asked warily, and a bright smile filled her face. It was almost blinding.

"Yes! My favorite book is Aristotle and Dante. What's yours?"

"Wuthering Heights."

"Ah, a fan of the classics more?"

"Yeah," I laughed. "My gran loved them too and I kind of adopted it from her."

"My grandma got me into reading too. I remember my favorite book as a kid was The Velveteen Rabbit."

"That's such a good story! My dad used to read it to me every night when I came to visit him."

"You both are such nerds." Angela teased as she sipped her lemonade, eyeing us back and forth. We both turned to her and stuck out our tongues before bursting into laughter.

Ah, it felt good to laugh. I hadn't felt so at ease in a long time.

The rest of the night was spent perusing the shopping mall and eating our weight in soft pretzels.

* * *

 _Leah's POV:_

Life was taking its toll on me. From patrolling to work to general college classes, I was fed up.

After some consideration, I decided to take the law enforcement entrance exam. They were in desperate need of officers in Forks, and I was tired of risking my life and not getting any credit. And I looked sexy in a uniform if I do say so myself.

Mother was none too happy, but Seth thought it was 'lit'. Whatever that means.

Jacob was another thing altogether. After I had told him he had whisked us away to my bedroom and pulled me into an embrace so tight I would have passed out if I were human. His chest rumbled, and his large hands had found their way under my shirt and were rubbing the skin of my lower back.

"This is dangerous."

"Mhm."

"I don't like it, Lee."

"I'm still taking the exam, Jake."

"I know." He pulled me into a lip lock that left me breathless and soon we lost ourselves in each other's body. My heartfelt full enough to burst. I know this was his way to show me that he would support me in this, and I was grateful.

I groaned into his neck as he slipped inside of me, hands shaking and vision blurry.

"I love you, Lee. So much."

"I love you too…" My voice trailed off as we moved in unison. And I meant it.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

"Are you sure this is legal?" I asked as we phased and pulled on our clothes at the edge of the forest behind a shady event taking place. People swarmed around like ants. Paul just grinned at me.

"Fuck yeah, it is. Just follow my lead."

 _I don't know about this_ , I thought to myself before following him into the mass of bodies. There was a strong body odor permeating the air and I wrinkled my nose in distaste.

"What are we even doing here? Is this a concert, a race?"

"Nah, this is way better."

Soon enough we were standing towards the front, both of us with hotdogs, nachos, and drinks in our hands. The food was quickly eaten before the show started, and we sipped at our drinks.

A small ring sat in the middle of the crowd. Were we seeing wrestlers? But why was it so _small_?

"What is this, Paul?" I nudged his side, but he quickly shushed me.

"Shh, it's starting!" Everyone was silent as an announcer's voice came on.

"Hey, how is everyone doing? You ready to see some wrestling?" The crowd cheered. "Our first wrestler is none other than The Terminator!" I looked around to see the wrestler but suddenly my eyes caught the crowd dispersing. A little person with long brown hair and large muscles climbed into the ring.

"I'll be back!" The crowd went wild. He did a few kicking and punching moves that had the room exploding with excitement.

"Our next wrestler is a crowd favorite, give it up for The Prince!" An even short little person with short blonde hair and a Disney prince-esque costume on climbed into the ring.

"Hello, my lovely subjects!" The two tiny wrestlers went to the opposite sides of the ring before running at each other. My jaw was to the floor as I saw two little people wrestle.

"Paul, what the hell? Where are we?"

"Midget wrestling, kid. Isn't it sweet?"

"How the hell did you find this place?"

"My old buddies and I used to frequent it before I phased. Pretty cool, huh?" I was about to disagree until The Prince got an upper hand and body slammed The Terminator. Without thinking I screamed along with the crowd. "I knew you'd like it!"

We spent the rest of the night watching little person after little person duel it out until ultimately The Prince, who had become my favorite, was named the victor.

What a crazy night!

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

"So, Bella, I heard you met Riley," Lauren implored from across the table as I bit into my apple. I stiffened but nodded, swallowing the bite. "How was it?" It was only the three of us due to the others all studying in the library and meeting with their coaches.

"It was great. We're hanging out again in a few weeks."

"I don't know why she'd hang out with you and not us, though, no offense. We have more in common with her. You know, because we were both on the volleyball team together." Jessica said with a giggle, and my face grew hot.

"And she and I were on the cheerleading squad until sophomore year when she moved," Lauren added.

"I don't even know what you both would talk about. You're not athletically inclined at all."

"I'm not that bad…" Was I?

"You literally trip while walking on a smooth surface. I've never seen someone so clumsy." She and Lauren started laughing and my face grew hot. "Do you remember when she tripped over the fan cord in English and almost broke it? Mr. Berty was so pissed."

"Yeah, that was so funny! What about when she literally caused a pile up in the hallway after tripping and falling on Austin who fell on the football team who fell on the cheerleading squad who fell on the pep squad." Others looked over at our lunch table and I felt my face grow hot.

"I'm not that clumsy, guys."

"No, you really are. You're like a walking accident or something."

"It wasn't even that bad. It was only a few guys from the football team and one cheerleader!"

"So, you admit you're a walking accident then? Finally, I'm glad you're not as stupid as you look." The bell rang and both girls stood up and walked away from the table, leaving me to clean up their trash along with my own. I had been so happy up until this point, but both girls had caused my good mood to plummet. With a sad sigh, I cleaned up our mess and decided to skip the rest of the day.

I made my way to my locker and grabbed my things before leaving out the front doors. No one was in the main office, most likely a staff meeting, and I easily snuck out to make the long trek home. Rain sprinkled from the sky, but I ignored it as I walked down the many roads that would lead me home.

I was glad for the first time that I didn't have my truck with me. It gave me time to think alone, without Embry or Charlie.

Jessica and Lauren's words flooded my head. Was I really that clumsy, did I look that stupid? I've always thought I was smart, but then Edward said I wasn't good enough and that my mind would forget him soon enough. I was just a pathetic, clumsy human girl. All I had going for me were my grades. I wasn't the most social person and had trouble creating good friendships. It was a miracle that Angela had stuck around.

I understood why Jessica had a vendetta against me, I had risked her life when I got on that biker's motorcycle. But Lauren had always hated me. Why? What had I done to her? I know she liked Tyler back when I first moved back, and he had liked me, but I didn't try to step on her toes. And now they were dating! What was the problem?

"Bella?" I jumped as a voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I turned to see who had called my name, only to meet Embry's dark eyes. He was driving my truck in the direction I was walking.

"Hey, Embry."

"What are you doing? Don't you have class?"

"Don't you?"

"Come on, get inside before you get a cold." As if on cue I sneezed, and quickly I clambered into the truck before he started driving. We were silent as he drove, and we quickly made it back to the Swan residence. I got out without giving him a glance and unlocked the door before running to my room. Thankfully, I didn't trip on the way there.

With the door shut behind me, I threw my bag and jacket down before kicking off my shoes and slipping into bed. The sprinkle of rain had turned into an all-out downpour, and my emotions mirrored them.

A few minutes passed until my door opened and shut again, and Embry slipped into bed behind me. I couldn't hold in the tears that started to fall.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"They said I was clumsy and looked stupid and didn't understand how Riley could be my friend."

"Oh, honey. Don't listen to them. They're just jealous that you guys hit it off."

"They're right, though."

"Don't say that. You're not even that clumsy. Honestly, I feel like you only think you're so clumsy because of him putting it in your head."

"What do you mean?"

"Were you this clumsy before you dated him?" I shook my head. "See, there you go. You think you're clumsy, so you are."

"What about being stupid?"

"You literally have a four-point-o GPA."

"But I dated a vampire…"

"Loving someone doesn't make you stupid, it makes you naïve. He was your first boyfriend, and he was gorgeous and rich. I could understand you falling for him." A surge of anger ripped through me and I jerked away before turning to face him. His eyes were widened with surprise.

"I didn't care about his money. He and I had a lot in common." Embry was silent for a second before giving me a calm look.

"What did you both have in common?"

"Reading, music, uhm…" As a memory surfaced in my head I flushed and felt more tears fall. "He could play the piano and he wrote me a lullaby."

"A lullaby?"

"Yeah, and he would hum it to me every night before going to sleep."

"Wait, he was here? Every night?"

"Well, yeah. He started watching me sleep before we started dating, but when I knew what he was doing we started staying up talking." Embry's expression turned haunted and I suddenly felt sick. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. Holy crow, I messed up again."

"He snuck into your room and watched you sleep without your permission?"

"When you put it like that it seems sketchy, but…"

"That's because it is. No one has the right to do anything to without your permission." He leaned up and grabbed my face in his big, warm hands. "Bella, what he was doing was wrong. You were a seventeen-year-old girl, and he was god-knows how old and taking advantage of your infatuation for him."

"N-no, he wasn't! He wouldn't do that." I pushed his hands away and glared.

"That guy that abandoned you in the forest to freeze to death wouldn't do that?" He snorted sarcastically. "I highly doubt that."

"How do you even know what's politically correct in a relationship?"

"I've had a girlfriend or two. I know how to treat a woman, Bella. And that never entails stalking or controlling them."

Did he really control me? Edward had always said he had my best interests, but whenever I tried to decide for myself he would dazzle me until I did what he wanted. I didn't want to go to prom or have that stupid birthday party, yet I was forced to. And now that Embry mentioned it, why was I so calm about him watching me sleep? For months he had endangered me by watching me sleep, no matter what his siblings had said. They had all been against him doing it, especially Rosalie.

I put my face in my hands and sobbed. What was wrong with me? Was I that much of a danger magnet that I accepted love even in its worst forms?

Embry pulled my hands from my face and wiped the tears from my cheeks before pulling me back down to lay on the bed. His smooth voice hummed a calming tune and without meaning to I fell asleep, arms wrapped tightly around his torso.

* * *

 _Third person POV:_

Jessica Stanley's bedroom was dark except for the yellow star nightlight she had never gotten rid of and her large tv screen. In her hands was a game controller. She was almost finished with this game, all she had to do was kill the boss and-

"Yes! Fuck yeah! Woot woot!"

"Its one in the morning shut the fuck up and go to sleep, chubby!" Her older brother, Thomas, thundered from his room and she immediately quieted down before plopping down on her red beanbag again with a sigh. Without thinking her hand went to grasp what little stomach fat she had, and a wave of disgust filled her body.

She hated the nickname Chubby, but it had been christened to her ever since she was born at the large weight of nine pounds. She was big then, and she was big now.

With her game beat, she decided to shut the television down and head to bed. With her phone in hand, she slithered under her bed sheets and quickly texted her boyfriend, Mike.

 _"You have time to talk? I miss you."_

 _"Sorry, I'm busy right now. You think you can survive without me for a bit?"_ She knew he was teasing her for being clingy, but it still hurt. Jessica closed her phone without replying and sat it on her nightstand before pulling the lilac, light pink, and light blue comforter over her head. It only took a few minutes for sleep to claim her.

* * *

Mr. Jefferson grunted from behind her, his rough hand on her head to hold her down. Lauren's eyes were glazed over, and she fought the urge to fight back and rip his throat out. It would only be worse for her if she did. Her little sister, Peyton, slept down the hallway naïve to what was going on. She would never know this pain and disgust.

 _I'm doing this for her_ , Lauren reminded herself. _So, this disgusting creep doesn't touch my baby sister and taint her like he tainted me_.

Her father's business partner finished with a grunt before pulling out and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"You're still as good as the day we started this." He whispered, and she shuddered, tears falling from her eyes before she could stop it. He pulled his dress pants back up before exiting the room and going back down to her parent's dinner party.

It had been like this for as long as she could remember, but there was nothing she could do. Peyton came first, and she always would.

Lauren pulled her underwear and pajama pants up before covering herself with her dark grey and red comforter, trying her hardest to disappear.

 _Peyton came first, Peyton came first, Peyton came first. But who would save her_ , she thought. _Who would save her from this hell that she had grown accustomed to?_


	13. Chapter Twelve: The Prodigal Return

_**A/N:** Hello, my lovely readers! I hope you are all enjoying the story so far. I just wanted to drop in and let you know that the next few chapters are going to get dark. Of course, I'll leave a warning before the chapter so you know what you are getting into. If you have any questions or comments PM me or review and tell me what you think. Now, on with the story!_

 **WARNING: CHILD ABUSE, MANIPULATIONS, VIOLENCE, NEGLECT, INFIDELITY, SLUT SHAMING, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, TRIGGERING IMAGERY, BULLYING, AND ADULT IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Twelve.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

I woke up around six-thirty to a note from Charlie saying that there had been an accident and he didn't know when he'd be home. Right now, I cooked an easy recipe; spaghetti and meatballs with frozen garlic bread. Embry sat at the table, working on his homework. After I finished draining the pasta and putting it back into the pan, I noticed his face was scrunched in disgust.

"What is it?"

"Biology is so stupid. I don't understand it at all."

"What are you working on?"

"Here but be warned, this is impossible to understand." I gave him a small smile and turned to the textbook pages. In bold letters, the words Anaphase and Prophase glared back at me. Suddenly a memory filled my brain.

 _"Ladies first, partner?" Edward asked. I looked up to see him smiling a crooked smile so beautiful that I_

 _could only stare at him like an idiot._

 _"Or I could start, if you wish." The smile faded; he was obviously wondering if I was mentally competent._

 _"No," I said, flushing. "I'll go ahead."_

 _I was showing off, just a little. I'd already done this lab, and I knew what I was looking for. It should be_

 _easy. I snapped the first slide into place under the microscope and adjusted it quickly to the 40X_

 _objective. I studied the slide briefly._

 _My assessment was confident. "Prophase."_

 _"Do you mind if I look?" he asked as I began to remove the slide. His hand caught mine, to stop me, as_

 _he asked. His fingers were ice-cold, like he'd been holding them in a snowdrift before class. But that_

 _wasn't why I jerked my hand away so quickly. When he touched me, it stung my hand as if an electric_

 _current had passed through us._

"Bella, Bella. Calm down. You're okay." Edward disappeared and Embry took his place, his large, warm hands cupping my cheeks. My tears felt wet and my heartbeat hammered in my chest.

"I-I-"

"I'm sorry, I didn't think Biology would set you off."

"It wasn't Biology…It was _him_."

"Edward..."

"Mhm."

"Can I ask why?"

"He was my lab partner. This first day we spoke was the same day we did this in class." I hiccupped and cried again. "Why does it still hurt to remember?"

"Oh, honey." He pulled me tightly into his arms and kissed my forehead as I bawled into his frame. This was so embarrassing. How was it fair that he still hurt me like this? It had been a long time. I was ready to move on, so why wasn't my heart?

Sniffling, I turned my head and glanced up at him. "Embry, you're too good to me. I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that. You deserve the world and then some, okay? You are kind, smart, caring, beautiful, and you make me feel hope when all I've ever had is nothing."

"I'm glad that we can be each other's hope in this darkness we both share," I whispered back. We stayed like that for a few more minutes before deciding to take a break from homework and eat dinner. The rest of the night went smoothly.

* * *

On a warm Saturday during the middle of May, the eldest Black sibling graduated from her college. All her family and friends were in attendance, and that meant that Charlie and I had been invited. I thought of skipping, but I know I couldn't run from my problems forever. It would only be a matter of time before I had to face Jacob and Leah again.

We were staying overnight in Pullman and Embry would have the house to himself. He had kept muttering to himself about little people wrestling, but I decided not to ask about it. Some things are better left unsaid.

The car ride was long, and I kept feeling the urge to vomit throughout the graduation ceremony. Jacob and Leah couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. They kissed, held hands, he pulled her close. I wasn't the only one becoming uncomfortable because Rebecca, the younger Black twin, smacked her brother to make them stop.

It only helped partially, but I was grateful. She glanced over at me and sent me a kind smile before turning back to the front.

As soon as the ceremony was over we rushed outside to meet the happy graduate and to take pictures.

Rachel Black was almost model pretty with her long legs and thick dark brown hair. With a pearly white smile, she yanked me into a tight hug. I felt a blush rush to my cheeks from my awkwardness.

"Bella! I'm so glad you came. Becca and I have missed you."

"I missed you both too." They missed me? The thought caused a warmth to fill me. She pulled away from my hug but still held on to me and gave me a once-over.

"You've got to pretty! You and I will have to hang out as soon as I'm all moved in."

"For sure."

"You remember Marissa, right? She and I are still best friends and she and I talk about you all the time. Maybe next time Becca visits us four can go back to being RMBB!"

RMBB. Wow, I had totally forgotten about that. It seems my hatred of the stormy weather of Forks had taken even the good memories from me.

I nodded and hugged her again before releasing her to visit with her family. Charlie put his arm around me and patted my shoulder. When I turned to him he gave me a sad smile.

"This will be you one day, kiddo. You ready?"

"Not sure, I hope so."

"I think you will be. You've always been resilient. You're going excel in whatever field you choose to go in." I pulled him into a hug and a smile made its way to my face.

"Thank you, dad. That means a lot."

"I'm only stating the truth, Bells."

The rest of the day went surprisingly well, and I found myself ignoring Jacob and Leah's presence and enjoying myself. That was progress, right? I sure hope so.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

 _To my dearest,_

 _I've finally settled in. Jason wishes you were here. He was looking forward to having you join the baseball team year. He's a coach at Stadium High. Maybe you could think about coming to visit? You might enjoy it more here._

 _Sending my love,_

 _Mommy_

I gave a sad sigh before shoving the postcard into my pocket and hopping on my bike. I would be meeting Paul at the diner before heading to a movie in Seattle and then shopping. Bella and Charlie were in Pullman for Rachel Black's graduation and he had left me a hundred dollars to pick up new clothes. I barely had any shirts without holes in them and most of my jeans had stains on them.

Mom had refused to pay for my things and after phasing I had no time for a job, so I continued to grin and bear it. When Charlie caught wind of my wardrobe he made me take some money he had tucked back.

At the time I felt embarrassed, but now I couldn't help but feel excited. When was the last time I had new clothes? I couldn't remember. Sam had loaned me a few after I phased and couldn't fit into my shirts, but that was a while ago.

Once I made it to the diner I parked outside and popped my keys into my pocket before laying the helmet in the back of his truck. It was a green nineteen-ninety-nine doge ram one thousand five hundred gifted to him by his dad when he turned sixteen. I slipped into the passenger seat and we took off to our destination.

* * *

We caught a shitty action movie that had us bored out of our minds before we headed to the mall. Paul waltzed right into Old Navy and went to look over the racks of clothes while I stayed behind him, feeling out of place. What did I even like?

Paul glanced over at me and raised an eyebrow.

"See anything you like, Em?" I shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Come on, we'll figure it out as we go. Let's start with jeans." He led me to a rack of jeans and over the course of an hour, we finally found some things I liked. We checked out and hit a few more stores before heading home.

"We should hit Goodwill."

"What? Why?"

"They have some great clothes for super cheap. Trust me, I go there lots." I nodded before clutching the car door as he made a U-turn and sped off. The rest of the day was spent in Goodwill, where I found quite a bit more outfits and even a gift for Bella. I tucked it away in my backpack and decided to give it to her for her birthday in a few months.

* * *

 _Jacob's POV:_

"Jake, you can't keep acting like this. You're not only messing with the pack but your relationship with Leah. She's tired of you complaining about it." Quil said with a groan as they stood outside of Sam's, his face all business.

"Why hasn't she come to me then?"

"Because you're too stubborn to listen to anyone! But I'm sick of you always ragging on Embry. He's our best friend and brother and he doesn't deserve it. Neither does Bella."

"But she's literally using him to get back at me!"

"You don't even know if that's true! All you do is assume shit!" Quil yelled back with a growl. "I'm tired of you picking on her. She's been through hell and back!"

"And I haven't?"

"I didn't say that, but you know what I mean. You broke her heart, bro. Even worse than that leech ever did."

 _As if_ , I thought to myself. _She never loved me. I was just some plaything to her_. But I knew Quil would never understand that, so I had to lie. I needed to get back in everyone's good graces.

"Okay, okay."

"Okay, what?"

"You're right. I never thought of how it affected her. Lee was shattered when Sam imprinted on Emily, and I assume Bella felt similarly."

"Does this mean you're going to apologize to Embry?"

"As soon as I see him." A smile broke out on Quil's face.

"Finally! I haven't spoken to him since outing him to the pack. I should apologize too."

"If you feel you should then you should."

He pulled me into a hug and patted my back. "I'm glad you came to your senses, Jake. I miss my bros." At his words, I felt a sadness fill my chest that I couldn't place.

"I did too." We said our goodbyes and I went home to the Clearwater's. Leah was there waiting for me with a kiss and a sandwich. But even with the love, she gave me, I couldn't get rid of the sadness. I wish I could find out why.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

On Monday I opted out of lunch with everyone and sat outside. Embry had packed me lunch today, just a simple ham and cheese sandwich, some chips, and a bottle of water, but it made me feel good to know he cared enough to do that for me. I sat on the grass behind the school and leaned against the wall. It was a gray day with no clouds in the sky, but thankfully the rain probably wouldn't come until later.

I ate my lunch and read a new book I had bought while in Pullman called 'Lord of the Flies'. It was about British schoolboys who got stranded on an island and had to fend for themselves. At my old school in Phoenix were supposed to read it, but then I moved. It wasn't really my style, but I was enjoying it immensely.

Time went by quickly and the bell rang. As I threw my trash away and started to leave, I heard two voices speaking. I couldn't help but be nosy as soon as I heard Lauren's name.

"She stopped taking her medication?" Mike asked. Medication?

"She keeps saying she doesn't need it, but I don't know. I want to be supportive, but she just keeps getting worse. She almost hit me yesterday when I tried to start something in the bedroom."

"Shit, dude. Maybe you should tell Mrs. Mallory."

"You know how her parents are. She'd be admitted before we could blink."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, man." Their voices disappeared, and I suddenly felt sick. Lauren was on medication? And she stopped taking it?

I had so many questions.

With a tight stomach, I grabbed my things and went to class. Lauren stayed at the back of my mind for the rest of the day.

* * *

 _Paul's POV:_

Rachel Black had to be the most beautiful woman in the world. And that scared the shit out of me.

So, there I was being the good Samaritan I am. I help Jake and Quil move her stuff back into the Black home. _Wabam_ , I walk right into her. _Wapow!_ I look into those pretty brown eyes and feel the cords connecting us to each other.

I fucking imprint on the Chief's eldest and I hightail it the fuck out of there.

Why you ask? Because I'm not about to be tied down to _anyone_. Even if she is the most beautiful, gorgeous, intelligent, sexy-

 _Damn it! Get your mind out of the gutter, you dipshit!_

I hid out in the forest in human form for a few hours, just thinking and fighting the urge to run back and kiss her pretty mouth. When it hit ten and the sunset, I called around until I found a nice party in Forks to get fucked up.

Yeah, find a nice broad and lose myself for a while.

I brought Quil along with me and it didn't take long for us to each have a beautiful girl in our arms. The drinks kept coming and my girl and I found ourselves in one of the house's bedrooms. I didn't even know her name, but that didn't matter. I just wanted to forget Rachel Black for as long as I could.

It only brought me a little relief to lose myself in her body. Right as I was about to finish, the door opens.

My life flashes before my eyes.

Rachel is standing there with this disappointed look on her face.

"Fucking disgusting. No wonder they warned me about you. You're nothing but a cheap whore." The door slammed shut and I couldn't help but finish after seeing her all sexy and angry. But then the disgust set in. I left the girl I slept with covered and sleeping and disappeared from the party.

The dark streets of Forks felt lonely and my mind was in a daze. Rachel had rejected me.

Of course, she did, what she said was true. I'm nothing but a whore. I sleep around with any pretty girl that gives me attention. But she didn't even get a chance to know me. I guess I didn't make it easy, though. I rudely ran off without introducing myself and then she catches me fucking some rando.

She had me perfectly pegged and there was nothing I could do about it.

The Swan house was in sight and Embry sat on the porch reading one of the leech lover's books. Man, I've got to start calling her by her name.

"Embry," I said, my voice not sounding like my own. He looked up with wide eyes and then he disappeared from view. No, wait.

Why was I on the ground? The sky was dark and void of stars.

"Paul, buddy. Are you okay, man?" Suddenly, I was scooped up and a lump formed in my throat. Tears fell down my cheeks.

"She fucking rejected me."

"Who did?"

"I imprinted on Rachel and she rejected me. She doesn't want me."

"Come here, let it out." And I did. I bawled and snotted like a little bitch and when I was done I must have passed out because I don't remember shit. I was going to have a serious hangover tomorrow.

* * *

 _Rebecca's POV:_

Hawaii used to be my home. It was where I truly came into myself. I met my husband here and had my sons. I found my love of art that I shared with my late mother, Sarah. I loved it. This was my home.

But then I caught them together. My whole world shattered. My favorite person was ripped away from me again. It was like life's cruel way of telling me I couldn't be happy.

Solomon and a long-legged blonde fucked in our bed, where we made love. Where we created our children together. I was disgusted and pissed as hell.

"What the fuck are you doing in my bed with that skank!" I screeched as I stood over them, my temper rising as I saw how oblivious they were to me. Solomon all but flew off of her with guilty eyes, running a finger through his hair. The girl covered up with the sheets, shock written on her face.

My blood ran cold.

 _Misty_. My fucking coworker and best friend.

"Misty? What the fuck? Did you seriously think I wouldn't find out about this?"

"We never meant for this to happen."

"Too fucking late for that, bitch."

"Hey, I'm not the only one to blame here. Your husband came to me!"

"And you just hated the attention didn't you." When she didn't answer I sneered and turned to my naked husband. Even now he was shameless and didn't hide his private area. I guess there wasn't much use for that now.

"How long?" He refused to meet my eye. In a rage, I smacked him across the face. I had never been one for violence, but this was different. "How long, Solomon!"

"A few weeks…We slept together after that party. The one for your friend Mariela."

"You said you were staying at Derek's that night…You lied to me?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"Fuck." I felt boneless as I sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at my lap. It had a few stains on it from Joey, who was a very messy eater. At the thought of our children, I became even angrier. Solomon took a step towards me and sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"You selfish bastard. Wanted your quick fix and you didn't stop to even think about your sons!"

"I never wanted to get married so young! I never wanted to have children so young! You fucking wanted this because of your bullshit mommy issues."

"I want a divorce. I won't give you any more of my energy. From here on out, you both can go fuck yourselves."

"W-what? No! I won't let you leave and take my sons!"

"Why do you care? You never wanted us. So now you have your wish."

After that I picked up my luggage and sons and hightailed it back to the airport, intent on returning home. _For good._


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Something Smells Fishy

**WARNING: MANIPULATIONS, VIOLENCE, NEGLECT, INFIDELITY, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, TRIGGERING IMAGERY, AND ADULT IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen.

* * *

 _Rebecca's POV:_

"I'm going to put them down for their naps," I exclaimed with a yawn as I lifted my tater tots with ease. "If I don't do it now they'll sleep too late and be up all night."

"I've been there. Go on and do your mommy thing." Dad said with a grin that matched my own. "I'll have lunch ready when you're done. You still love grilled cheese?"

"Of course. Add some ham while you're at it."

"You read my mind, sister." I left to my brother's old bedroom and lay the twins in their crib. After the day they had, they were out in minutes, even if Joey had been fighting me the whole way to bed. After making sure they wouldn't wake up, I shut off the lights and left the room.

Dad was finishing up with our lunch and I pulled out two glasses from the cabinet and poured sweet tea in both. When the table was set we settled in to eat.

"You can stay here as long as you want."

"I know, dad. I'll have to take you up on that offer."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"You remember Misty, the girl I brought to visit a year ago?"

"Yeah, a bit of an airhead but she was nice."

"I caught her and Solomon together. In our bed."

"I never liked that girl. There was always something off with her." Dad exclaimed as he finished off his sandwich and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm glad to be home, dad. This is right where I need to be, I think."

"I think so too, sweetheart." We finished our food and sat at the table talking until the twins woke up. The rest of the day was filled with my sons and no sign of my sister, who disappeared last night saying she was hanging out with a friend.

My heart knew something was wrong, but I ignored it and focused on my sons. They were what mattered now. When Rach needed help she'd come to me. I was sure of it.

* * *

 _Third Person POV:_

"Baby, you're so cold. You're like my own personal ice pack." Riley exclaimed as he pulled his new girlfriend close to his sweaty body. She reacted with disgust and pushed him away, albeit with too much force.

"Hurry and shower so we can make it to the movie. I don't want to miss the commercials again."

"You and your weird interests." He teased before leaving her in the living room of the apartment he shared with his two close friends, Evan and Ray. Evan was nice enough, but Ray had immediately grabbed her ass when Riley was out of sight.

To this day he still doesn't understand how his fingers broke from the wind. Victoria giggles at the thought of the twerp getting what he finally deserved.

Her cell phone rang, and she snapped it open with a hiss.

"You said you'd call me two days ago! What happened to the deal?"

" _Easy, sissy. Some things take time. But I've got your goods ready to ship out tonight. You should receive them tomorrow night."_

"This is why you're my favorite member of those Italian mafia bastards. You always pull through for me when no one else will."

" _You are family. Family over everything."_

"Family over everything," Victoria repeated the mantra with a sad sigh, wishing desperately that she could hear her blood sister, Anne, repeat it back to her. But all that was left of her was ash and regret.

" _Okay, I have to go now. We'll talk again soon."_

"Bye, Heidi."

Their call ended as Riley finished up, exiting the bathroom dressed in a graphic tee and basketball shorts. Victoria felt naked as he stared down at her like she was the sun and the moon and all the stars in the sky.

"Come on, baby. Let's head out and see how bad this movie is going to be." She grinned and let him pull her up. He pressed a kiss to her soft lips.

"You have such weird interests." She teased him, and he giggled. If she had a heart it would have leaped.

Ignoring the weird feelings, she dragged him out of the house and to his car. Throughout the movie, she couldn't help but feel extreme excitement over her plan that would soon unfold.

 _Heidi's supplier better be good_ , she thought to herself as the theater screen exploded in another action-packed scene that has Riley screeching with happiness. _Or there will be hell to pay._

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

"After all of this, you apologize? Just like that?" Jacob sat at the lunch table with a grim expression before shrugging. Something fishy was going on. Chugging the rest of my milk down, I wiped my mouth on my sleeve before motioning him to continue. "Okay, go on. This has got to be good."

"Quil said-"

"What did that idiot say now?"

"Nothing bad, I swear! He just ripped my ass for giving you and Bells trouble and said I should think of how I broke her heart." I could tell he wasn't as heartfelt as he claimed, but you couldn't tell a stupid person they were stupid. They just were. Jacob coughed before continuing. "And that had me thinking that I may have been in the wrong."

"May have been? Dude, you were way out of line."

"How so?"

"You don't know shit, okay? Not about her, not about me, and certainly not about us. And its none of your business."

"Embry, I'm trying to apologize. I'm sorry. It's hard for me too. Even if I'm imprinted, my feelings for Bella never completely left." That shut me up quick. Sam always held affection for Leah even after he found his perfect match in the angle that was Emmy Young. But I had never considered that Jacob may be in the same situation. I glanced into his eyes and could see a deep sadness that I hadn't noticed before.

Maybe he didn't even notice himself from how he had been acting before.

"Okay, I get where you're coming from."

"I'm sorry, Em. Really. I don't want some girl or some silly imprint to come between the three amigos." My stomach churned at him calling Bella "some girl" but I ignored it and smiled.

"Me neither, Jake."

"How about the boys skip tomorrow and go cliff diving? It's been so long." I was about to accept when I remember a promise I made to Bella. Starting tomorrow we would eat lunch together every Thursday. Lunch had become one of her worst triggers due to the two popular witches ganging up on her for no reason. When he saw my smile drop he became confused. "What, what is it?"

"I promised Bella we'd have lunch together tomorrow."

"Can't you cancel?"

"No can do. I don't break promises." He grunted but nodded. "How about Friday?"

"Sure, sure." He grinned from ear to wear. The bell rang, and he stood up from the table and left without a word. I rolled my eyes before cleaning up my trash and putting my lunch tray up.

Today had been a weird day, but tomorrow was going to be awesome. Just my baby and I enjoying our lunch together. What could be better than that?


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Rock Bottom

_**A/N** : Fifty reviews! Wow, I never thought could get thirty, but now there are fifty! Thank you all for your love and support. I wouldn't have the drive to write if it wasn't for you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It is dark and upsetting, but as Buster Moon from the movie Sing says, "You know what's great about hitting rock bottom, there's only one way left to go, and that's up!" __Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. If you have any questions or comments, PM me or review and tell me what you think!_ _The National Suicide Hotline is: 1-800-273-8255._

 **WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, BULLYING, SLUT SHAMING, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, MANIPULATIONS, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Fourteen.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

"You can't do this. Seriously, Sam."

"I have no choice. Harry went sent to the ER in Forks last night and Leah and Seth aren't able to patrol today."

"What about Jake?"

"He's with Lee for support." I ran a frustrated hand through my hair before nodding. There was nothing that could be done about it. I was going to miss lunch with Bella and there was nothing I could do. My heart ached at the thought of her big brown eyes looking for me and wondering why I ditched her.

Damn heart attacks. Damn health problems. Why couldn't he just phase and become a superhuman like his kids?

"Is Harry going to be okay?"

"We think so. He's strong, he'll be fine." I nodded.

"That's good. He's a great man." Sam patted my back empathetically.

"It'll be okay, Em. Bella will understand."

"I sure hope so." But something deep inside tells me that this is the worst decision I could make.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

Thursday was like any other day for Bella Swan. Get up, go to school. Suffer throughout the day from my constant dark thoughts. But starting today lunchtime would be Bella and Embry time. Embry would run over, and we'd enjoy our lunch together. Lately, he'd been busy with Paul, Seth, and patrolling and we haven't gotten to spend much time together besides working on homework. But starting today that would all change.

School was a drag and seemed to creep along until lunchtime finally came. As soon as the bell rang I zipped out of class, eager to see my sweet boy again. It had been a long time since I had been so excited about anything, and Mike took notice when I almost collided with him.

"Whoa, Bella!" He exclaimed with a chuckle, while Jessica rolled her eyes in annoyance. "What's got you so hyper today?"

"I guess I'm just really hungry." I giggled out before continuing down the hall.

Jessica turned and gave him a sneer before shutting her locker, to which Mike exclaimed with a sigh, "What is it now, Jess?"

I didn't hear what she said, and to be honest I didn't care. There was a cute boy waiting for me outside and I'd be damned if anything ruined her good mood. I ran out the back entrance, peering around for the lanky boy that had become so important in my life but came up empty.

Dang, where was he? Had he ditched me?

"Hey, Bella." The voice made me freeze on the spot.

 _It couldn't be…Could it?_

With a deep breath, I turned to where the voice came from and felt my heart start to hammer in my chest.

Jacob stood there, hair braided down his back and a grim expression marring his features. My shoulders slumped, and a cold sweat started down my back.

"Embry couldn't make it." He spoke again, and I felt my heart drop into my stomach.

"Why are you here?" He took a step forward and I backed up. The lunch in my bag suddenly seemed unappetizing.

"He told me to tell you he wouldn't be here."

"Why would he send _you_?" I bit out, staring down at my Chuck Taylor's. There had to be a mistake, why would he send _Jacob_ of all people?

"Are you still angry with me?" When I didn't answer he chuckled unemotionally. "You know I couldn't help it."

"You could have had the decency to not ignore me. You were my best friend, my only friend."

"And who's fault was that? You had other friends before you dated Edward, remember? The ones you went to the beach with. What happened to them? They get sick of you pushing them away too?"

"You broke my heart, not the other way around. Don't pin this on me."

"And now you're using Embry as a rebound, huh? Pretty low, Bells. He's like my brother."

"You don't know anything about Embry and me. You have no idea."

Jacob waved his hands at me to continue as he laughed again. "Go on, I bet this is good."

"It's none of your business."

"What did he do? Take you to dinner, a movie? Buy you some lavish gift like Cullen used to do?" My face flushed beet red and my hands were clenched into fists. "Is that it? Did he buy your affection? Did he go out and buy you some nice diamond earrings? Is that it?"

"Shut up!" Everything started to become a mess in my head and I dug my nails into the palms of my hand. I could feel blood seep from the wound at the pressure.

"Some Versace, Gucci? Chanel perhaps?"

"He stopped me from killing myself! Is that what you wanted to hear? That I was so messed up that I became suicidal?" Jacob's laughter died in his throat and his eyes widened. Tears leaked from my eyes and my jaw was clenched as I tried not to cry.

I wouldn't let him see me break again. Not again. He didn't deserve my tears.

"W-what?"

"I wrote you a suicide note, you know. All of you guys. Embry found them and stopped me before I jumped off the cliff. And then he caught me in the kitchen slitting my wrist with a knife and took me to the hospital before I bled out." He remained silent, almost in a daze. "He told Charlie and now I'm in therapy. Embry's been my rock through all my emotional issues, but you think of me as this callous money-hungry _bitch_."

"Bella, I didn't know-"

"Yeah, you didn't. You've been busy in your new beautiful relationship with your beautiful imprint, while I'm left to pick up the pieces. You had no idea what was going on because you didn't ask. You don't call or come around, or even think to. You aren't my best friend anymore." I wiped my tears and turned to head back, my appetite gone. "I think it's best you go back to where you belong."

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"Bye, Jacob." The finality hurt me more than I could put into words as I entered the school again, my whole body feeling sick and my hands shaking.

I needed to get out of here, go home. I didn't want to deal with anything anymore.

Embry would explain when he got home. He would never send Jacob to speak to her. Something was fishy about that. I was going to get to the bottom of it sooner rather than later.

As I got lost in my thoughts as I walked down the hallway someone bumped into me, almost sending me to the floor. When I looked up, Lauren's fishy green eyes stared back at me, a grimace on her face.

"Pathetic, truly. Flirting with Mike right in front of Jessica?" _What was she going on about now?_

"What are you talking about?"

"No wonder Edward left you, you're just a slut who can't keep her legs shut."

"That's not true-"

"Sure, it isn't, _skank_." With a tinkling laugh, she left me awestruck and alone. My whole mind became blank as I walked to my locker and got my stuff together, slinging my bag over my shoulder halfheartedly.

Everything would be okay once I made it home, once I was able to be alone. I would be okay.

When I was in my truck, I had finally been able to drive myself after pleading with Charlie, everything hit me like a truck.

Was I nothing but a whore getting boys hopes up? Tyler, Mike, Eric…Jacob. They all had liked me at one point, but I shrugged them off like measly flies and went after the prettiest boy in school. Even Edward had been enamored with me, but why? I did nothing but throw myself at him, regardless of the dangerous consequences that I faced. I was such a damn tease.

And Embry made a mistake saving me the second time. I should have bled out on that kitchen floor instead of being rushed to the hospital.

Well, this time would be different. He was god-knows-where doing god-knows-what and I was going to finish what I started. _Finally_.

A rush of excitement flooded my system as I started up the truck and drove off, not really paying attention to my surroundings.

Everyone would be better off without me. No more zombie Bella to bring down the mood, no more clumsy Bella to cause collisions in the hallway. No more slutty Bella breaking hurts with every step she took.

Everyone would be free of the walking catastrophe that was Bella Swan.

I made it in record time to the empty Swan residence and unlocked the door before heading to the kitchen. I left my things by the door; maybe it would be harder to get into the house and save me if someone came home early.

The drawer opened and, in my hand, glinted the silver knife.

It beckoned, it begged to cause pain.

My mind instantly thought of Embry again, and after a few seconds of thought I pulled out my phone and texted him a simple goodbye message. He deserved it for all he had done for me.

A smile graced my lips as I slid it across my pale wrist, the cut burning but the high it gave me so much better.

I kept going and soon my vision became blurry. Blood covered me, the floor. It was like a horror movie. I closed my eyes and felt it slip from my hands, and I was falling.

The world was falling away, and I was so excited to leave it. It would all be over soon. Everyone would be free of me. And I would be free from this exhausting life.

The door slammed open as I began to lose consciousness.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

"You went to her school when you knew I wouldn't be there. You cornered her and for what? To figure out if she truly cared about me? What the fuck, Jacob!" I screeched, my body held back by Jared and Brady. Rage coursed through my body and all I wanted to do was rip his throat out. "You know how she feels about you, you know how you fucked her up! Why would you do that?"

"I'm sorry." That was all he could say. Jacob looked like felt like a huge sack of shit, and he deserved it. I struggled against their holds again, snarling.

"She's not okay yet, Jake! You probably set her way back. In this state, anything could set her off." I knew my gut feeling was right. Something was wrong with Bella.

 _Please be okay, please be okay._

"Why didn't you tell me she tried to kill herself?" My heart skipped a beat and I stopped fighting against their holds as I took in the words that he said. Jared and Brady let go as I started to calm down, and for that I was grateful.

The room was silent until Quil asked, "What, Bella tried to kill herself?"

"It wasn't your business." I retorted back, ignoring the other clueless pack members.

"The hell it wasn't! She's my best friend."

"Yeah, some best friend you are. You haven't given a shit about her since you got with Leah!" My cellphone pinged, and I looked down at the incoming message. My face paled.

 _From: My Sweet Baby_

 _Thank you for everything. See you on the other side._

Sam broke me out of my trance as he asked, "Embry, what is it?"

"Bella's in trouble." I felt sick to my stomach. "I've got to go now!"

"I'm coming with you!" Jacob exclaimed as he started to follow me, but I growled in warning.

"No, hell no! You're the cause of this mess!" I was seconds away from ripping out Jacob's throat again when Sam stepped in between us, his face grim

"We'll all go, we care about Bella too." Without another word I ran past them out of the house and phased on the fly rushing back towards Forks.

 _Hang in there, baby. I'm coming. I won't let you go that easily._

* * *

When the house came into view I phase back and pulled on a pair of shorts that I placed on the side of the house before rushing inside the back door.

The house was eerily quiet.

I sniffed the air and gagged. Blood, so much blood.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I exclaimed. I walked a bit further and stepped into something wet. Looking down at my foot, I felt my body go cold.

Bella lay a few feet away, clothes and hair soaked in red. It almost looked like she was sleeping, but I knew better. I grabbed the hand towel and went to work covering the wound as tears started to fill my eyes.

"Bella, baby. Please don't do this to me again. Please, wake up." But blood just kept coming. How did she have so much of it? A sob broke through my throat. " _I can't lose you_."

The others ran into the house at that moment and all stopped dead in their tracks. Sam was already on his phone calling an ambulance, but part of me knew it was futile. Who knows how long she had been laying here for. Who knew how much blood she had lost.

"Bella, wake up. Open your pretty brown eyes for me and fight. Please!" Paul joined me on the floor and pulled off his shirt, tying it around her arm to create a tourniquet.

"Come on, Swan. Don't leave us now." Bella still lay comatose on the floor, her body losing more and more blood. Thoughts swarmed around Embry's head like a hive full of bees.

This is all my fault. If I had met her for lunch none of this would be happening.

Her heart sounded so faint now. She was going to die, and there was nothing I could do about it. But still, I tried to stop the bleeding, tried to help in some way. I couldn't give up on her that easily.

"Baby stay with me. Stay with me." I could barely see her through my tears, but I refused to stop the pressure I held on her wounds. There were so many of them.

"They're close, they'll be here in five minutes," Sam exclaimed, but he sounded a world away.

Bella's heart became even fainter if that was possible.

Time felt like it was passing too slow.

Finally, the ambulance arrived. They rushed in and took over from Paul and me, and he held me tightly against him. We were both covered in her blood. My senses were overtaken with Bella.

I followed them out the door and tried to jump in the back of the ambulance with them, but the refused to let me come. I watch helplessly as they drove away with the girl I loved.

I had no idea if I was ever going to see her again.

"No, no!" I cried, my chest starting to ache. My breathing came out in short pants. I probably looked like a crazy person, but I didn't care. What would I do without her?

The vivacious girl that I had grown to love over time; the worst bowler, the cheesiest goofball, the smartest person I knew. The best kisser and cuddle partner ever.

And that could all be gone in a matter of seconds. _And it was all my fault_.

Paul pulled me back into a tight embrace as I started to freak out, rubbing my back soothingly. But nothing could calm me down. Over Paul's shoulder, I could see Jacob leaning against a tree and covered his eyes with his hands. He was bawling his eyes out.

Quil ran full force at him without warning and decked him. As Jacob lay on the floor limply, Quil continued to punch him over and over. Jared and Collin pulled him off, but Jacob lay there crying again.

I closed my eyes and wished everything could go back this morning when Bella was laughing over a bowl of cheerios and everything was right in the world.

But the smell of blood wouldn't let me disappear.

"Let's go to the hospital." Paul murmured before steering me towards the truck. He made sure I was buckled in before driving off, speeding like a bat out of hell.

Part of me wished we would crash and I could follow Bella on the other side. But I knew she wasn't gone, at least not yet.

I sobbed into my hands again and hoped to god she would be alright.

 _Please, Bella, please. I can't live without you. Please._

* * *

 _Charlie's POV:_

My heart stopped when I got the call from Sam. My first instinct was confusion, but after hearing what he had to say, I rushed to Forks Hospital with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat.

She was in surgery to close the wounds she had made on herself. I had no idea how long it took, but it felt like years. Thankfully, she was okay. _This time_.

Guilt covered me like a blanket at the thought of what could have happened. I could have lost my little girl.

"I thought she was doing better." I murmured to myself as I looked over at Embry, who seemed to be in a daze. He was covered in blood and only wore shorts and shoes. He looked traumatized.

 _So much for a kid to witness. So much for anyone to witness, period._

Hours passed before she was wheeled to a room and we stationed ourselves in two hospital chairs. Bella lay in the bed with tubes and cords surrounding her.

I swallowed another lump in my throat and I tried to stay strong for Bella, for Embry. I tried to think positive.

Bella was still here. She was still alive. She would be okay again.

But part of me knew it was going to be a long road from her. Recovery wasn't linear and there would be setbacks.

 _Hopefully, nothing as bad as this_ , I thought to myself with worry.


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Confessions

**WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, VIOLENCE, CHILD NEGLECT, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, MANIPULATIONS, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

The heart monitor beeped like a gunshot going through the room. Every time it stuttered, I tensed up as I waited for the next beep. I felt like a starving animal locked in a cage. Anything could set me off.

I hadn't slept in two days, choosing to skip patrol to stay by Bella's bedside in case she woke up. I may have let her down before, but no more. I'd be there for her if it was the last thing I could do.

Friends and family came and went; Angela, Mike, and Eric had been frequent visitors during the short time she was here, along with Seth and Paul. Jacob came once, but after I gave him a black eye he decided to keep his distance. My chest rumbled at the thought of his deviousness.

Best friends were supposed to support each other, but what he did was disgusting. Bella had finally been on the road to recovery, but he had to mess it all up. I knew deep inside that it wasn't truly his fault, that Bella was the one to make the decision, but I still felt a burning rage whenever he was near.

Charlie slept in his chair, snoring lowly. It was one in the morning, but I couldn't sleep. My mind was a livewire.

 _I could have lost her_ , a small voice whispered in my head. _I could have lost her all because of a heart attack, lunch ditching, and a bad friend._

Thankfully, she was okay. But her scars were worse now. I didn't care about that, she was still beautiful to me. But I knew she'd feel guilt and embarrassment whenever she stared at them.

 _I'll just kiss them and make sure she knows they're her battle scars, and that she's the strongest warrior woman I know_ , I thought to myself.

There was a knock at the door and I looked up to see a tall figure in the doorway with short black hair. Leah Clearwater held a bouquet of flowers and a card.

"Mind if I come in?" I shook my head. She wasn't the person I had a problem with.

"Those from Jake?" She shook her head and stepped inside the room, casting a sad glance at the bed where Bella resided.

"Nope, from the Clearwater clan."

"What are you doing here, Lee?"

"If I had been keeping a closer eye on him none of this would have happened. He told me he was going to check on his dad. I would have never thought he would confront Bella." Leah laid the bouquet on the hospital dresser by the closet. "He's such a damn fool."

"Mhm."

"How are you holding up, Em?" I shrugged.

"How's Harry?"

"They're going to release him tomorrow if everything goes well."

"Good, I'm glad he's okay."

"I'm glad _she's_ okay." She walked around the and enveloped me in a tight hug before starting for the door again. "Tell Bella I'm sorry when she wakes up, okay?"

"Can do." Leah waved goodbye and left the room again.

I cast Bella another long glance before deciding it was better to get some rest then possibly pass out when she wakes up. I settled into my spot and shut my eyes before falling immediately asleep from exhaustion.

* * *

Bella woke up the next morning bright and early. Charlie shook me awake and I jumped up in my seat. Bella's face was scrunched in concentration as she started to wake up.

When her eyes finally did open, I was by her side in a flash, kissing her cheeks furiously. It had been so long since I had seen those chocolate eyes of hers. _Too, too long_.

"Bella, baby, don't do that to me again. Fuck, I thought I lost you." I felt sick to my stomach as she gave me a guilty stare. I was the cause of this. I was the reason.

"Embry." Her voice was so weak that I thought my heart might break.

"I'm here, I'm here. Fuck, fuck." She was groggy and had no idea what was going on, but she was happy that I was there. Tears streaked down my cheeks and I sobbed. All my emotions I had swallowed the past few days were all coming up again. It was like someone turned on a facet and all my emotional water was pouring out into the world. "I almost lost you."

"I'm here, Embry."

"Don't fucking do that to me again, you hear me?" My voice cracked, and I swear I saw Charlie out of the corner of my eye wiping tears away. I felt so angry and upset and I couldn't even tell her. How could she do it again? What was I supposed to do without her? "I never want to lose you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I should be sorry. I should have been there at lunch."

"S'okay."

"I love you, Bella." Both of our eyes widened to the size of the moon when we realized what left my mouth. But I kept going. Damn waiting and damn hesitating. Life didn't stop for anyone, so why should I? "I love you. I don't think I'll ever stop."

"Imprint…"

"Not me, never me." I shook my head and swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'll explain to you when we go home."

"Home?"

"Yes, home." I couldn't help but smile as I stared down at the pale girl in the hospital bed with wide brown eyes and plump lips. "Anyways, I love you. I really really do. Even if you don't feel the same way, I'll always stay by your side, Bella. I promise you that."

"I do."

"You do what?"

"I feel the same way." She paused and stared up at me with tired eyes. "I love you too, Embry." I started to cry at her words, my mouth stretching into a warm grin that probably rivaled the sun.

"I'm so happy." Bella smiled back, tears started to fall out of her own eyes.

"I am too. I love you."

"I love you too. So much."

* * *

After what felt like a million check-ups with the doctor and nurses, they concluded that Bella was okay enough to go home that night. As we packed up our minimal items, the subject of her mother was brought up.

The one who hadn't even thought to come visit. Who didn't think it was a good reason to miss her husband's baseball game.

"Where's mom?" Bella questioned, and Charlie's face became pensive. My blood started to boil. With a lot of self-control, I held in the urge to go full wolf and tried to keep a calm head. Tried was the keyword.

"She couldn't come. Phil had a baseball game." Charlie didn't even dance around the truth. I guess he was done with his ex-wife's bullshit too.

"Does she know what happened?" H nodded, and Bella's face dropped. "Oh." My chest rumbled, but I coughed to hide it.

"She sends her love."

 _That witch_ , I thought to myself before jumping into action.

"I bet she does." She exclaimed with a sigh before grabbing her clothes and going into the bathroom with a nurse to change. When the door was locked, I turned my sights on Charlie.

"What's her number, Charlie?" I inquired calmly.

He raised an eyebrow at me before asking, "Why?" I sighed.

"Just tell me, please." Without another word, he handed me his small, black flip phone and gave me a pointed look.

"Here, it's in my phone. Have at it."

* * *

"Hello? Charlie, how's Bella?" Renee Dwyer's voice came over the phone a few minutes later, the sound of a game in the background. A baseball game.

I sucked in a deep breath to keep my temper in check before answering, "This is Embry, Bella's boyfriend. I was calling to ask why you aren't here."

"Well, my husband, Phil, has a baseball game and he says I'm his good luck charm!" She giggled. "You know how it is."

The spirits are testing me, I thought to myself. How clueless is this woman?

"You know why Bella's in here right?" There was a short silence.

"Yes, I know."

"Then why aren't you here?"

"I already told you-"

I cut her off angrily. "That's fucked up. Your own daughter tried to kill herself and you're not coming because you're your husband's good luck charm or some stupid shit?"

"Excuse me?"

"Bella deserves better than that. She deserves love and support and to be taken care of for a change."

"I do support her!"

"Then why aren't you here? Why is everyone here except you?" She didn't answer. "That's what I thought. Nice talking to you, goodbye."

* * *

I returned to the room again and saw that Bella was back from the bathroom fully clothed and looking downtrodden. Charlie sat in a chair reading a fishing magazine. With a deep breath, I walked over to her and pulled her into a tight embrace, nuzzling my face into her neck.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you too…" She pulled away from me and looked up at me with those chocolate eyes of hers and I felt my knees become weak. "What are we?"

"Honestly, I don't know. What do you want to be?"

"Maybe we can go on a date and move on from there?" Bella smiled, and a weight lifted off my shoulders.

"Y-yeah, yeah. Sounds good to me."

"I don't mean to ruin the moment, but when we get home I need to talk to you privately, Bella. You think Paul can put up with you for a bit?" Charlie teased me, but I knew he needed to bring up some serious stuff with Bella. More therapy, possibly medication. And I wanted to be there for Bella, of course, but she needed to make decisions about this herself.

"I don't see why not."

"You're leaving?"

"Just for a few hours. Then I'll be back." I pressed a quick kiss to her lips that caused the blush to rise in her cheeks. "You're mine, okay? Not officially, but you know what I mean."

"And you're mine." She gave me a smile that I hoped was only reserved for me and soon after left the hospital. Paul sat in his truck waiting for me and after a few hundred kisses I slid into the truck and watched as Bella and Charlie disappeared.

Paul and I sat in silence the whole ride to La Push. When we parked in front of his house he turned to me with worried eyes.

"You look like shit. Call." I snorted.

"I'll be fine."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"What is there to say?"

"Your girlfriend attempted suicide. I'd understand if your head was a bit fucked right now." The way he said it made my heart race and stomach nauseous. But I couldn't be upset about this, could I? I needed to be the supportive significant other and help her love herself.

But it was so damn hard watching the one you love continue to fall deeper into a hole that you only had a hammer to dig them out of.

I guess that was the reason why I'm crying now.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and wiped my eyes, which didn't help at all since they continued to leak.

"It is what it is."

"Damn it, come here. Let Paul make you feel better." Paul didn't wait for an answer as he pulled me into a tight embrace, rubbing my back with his large hand. It felt a bit awkward, but it felt good to have someone care. To have someone just be there at all.

I cried for who knows how long until suddenly the tears dried up and I felt exhausted and weirdly calmer. We pulled away from each other and I followed him into the house. The rest of the night was spent watching trash television until he dropped me back at home.

 _It was nice to have someone like Paul_ , I thought to myself during the ride home. He sang to the radio in an off-key tune and I couldn't help but laugh. _Yeah, I guess I was pretty lucky._

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

"More therapy? Seriously? Why don't you just admit me and save yourself the trouble?" I snarked as he stared at me with hard eyes, my heart beating rapidly. I wished I could run and never look back, find a quiet place in the forest and finish the job I started. Why couldn't everyone just leave me alone? Why did they keep shoving themselves into my life?

Didn't they see I was a lost cause? Edward had, Jacob had. It was only a matter of time before Embry did.

"You don't mean that."

"How do you know? Can you read minds or something?"

"I thought you liked your therapist, Bells."

"I-I do."

"Then what's the problem?" What was the problem?

"Sometimes I don't understand what is wrong with me. Why can't I move forward? It seems like I take a step forward and two steps back."

"I understand, kid. I really do." I lay my head down and looked up at him, really looked at him for the first time. He looked good for his age; still had his hair and had a nice smile. Why hadn't he moved on from mom?

"How did you cope when mom left?" Charlie paused for a second, he cheeks flushing red. When he opened his mouth to speak again, I listened intently.

"I was depressed for a long time, but life moves on whether you like it. You have to make the choice to try and live your life again."

"But it's so hard sometimes…" Especially when people continue to ridicule me. Tears dripped down my cheeks and I cried. "I just want to be happy."

"You will be. You just need some time to heal." With a small smile, he put his hand over mine and held it gently. "And we're all going to be there to help you through it."

"I love you, dad."

"I love you, Bells."

* * *

I lay in Embry's makeshift bed on the couch hours later, stomach full of homemade chicken and noodles that Joy Ateara had sent over and feeling exhausted. Embry would be home any second, and we still needed to talk.

I missed him so much it ached.

 _He's going to imprint_ , you idiot.

With a sigh I rolled over on to my side and hid my face into the blanket, breathing in his scent. He smelt so comforting.

Like home.

"Baby, what are you doing?" I jumped in surprise before my eyes locked with Embry's. He chuckled, and I felt my face grow hot.

"When did you get home?"

"Just now." He glanced down at me mischievously and I felt self-conscious in my holey t-shirt and sweatpants. "Were you waiting for me?"

"And what if I was?"

"So cheesy of you." His hands cupped my cheeks and he kissed me softly. Embry tasted sweet and I couldn't help but lose myself in his hot mouth.

But then he pulled away and donned a serious look.

"I want to talk about imprinting."

"Okay, let's sit down." I scooted over and let him sit next to me, grabbing his hand in mine. He ran a hand through his hair, it had started to grow out and stopped at his shoulders now. "Old Quil found some records a few months ago, right after Sam imprinted on Emily."

"Records?"

"Yeah. It talked about pack hierarchy and some other stuff that doesn't really matter." He squeezed my hand. "But it talked about imprinting."

"What did it say?" I was scared of the answer."

"The alpha, beta, and the like will imprint. Sam, Jared-"

"What about Jacob and Leah?"

"Jacob is the rightful alpha and Leah would be his beta since she's the only female…" He paused and licked his lips. "And Paul imprinted on Rachel."

"Jacob's sister? Cheese and crackers, this is insane."

"Well, if she ended up phasing she would be the alpha. She's the oldest. And Becca will most likely phase too and imprint. It's mostly the direct line from Ephraim."

"Well, that's comforting."

"Yeah." A silence set in as I went over my thoughts.

He's not going to imprint. He's not going to leave.

"Bella, what's wrong?" His eyes were wide and worried as he cupped my face in his hands. I sobbed uncontrollably and suddenly I understood why he was so worried. I was bawling my eyes out for no reason. I squeezed my eyes shut and cried again. "Baby talk to me."

"You're not leaving." Then I was being pulled into his chest, tears soaking the t-shirt he wore. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and took in a shaky breath. "I love you, Embry."

"I love you too, Bella." We held each other in the darkness of my living room, the air warm and our feelings alive. It felt good to be loved.

* * *

Dr. Garrity's office was hot and uncomfortable as I sat in my usual chair on Sunday morning, my stomach feeling sick. I felt emotionally exhausted from last night's events and wasn't looking forward to opening up. I'd barely scratched the surface of Jacob and now I was back to square one again. It was embarrassing.

But she just smiled and nodded as word vomit spewed from my mouth. All the pent-up frustration about Edward and Jacob and even my parents exploded out of me.

"Is it a problem to want someone to stay? Is it a problem to need someone to take care of me for a change?" Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but my mouth moved a mile a minute. "I've taken care of my mom, then my dad. When do I get to be selfish for a change? I thought Edward would be that person for me, that we could take care of each other. But that was a false hope. Then Jacob came along and got my hopes up again." I wiped my eyes and sighed long and heavy. "But Embry feels different. We aren't even together, and he still takes care of me. Sings to me when I'm having anxiety, cooks meals for me doesn't judge me. He's even saved my life three times!"

As my words finally grew silent, I sat there panting and staring at Dr. Garrity with worried eyes.

She smiled again and exclaimed, "Bella, it isn't a problem to want to be taken care of. It isn't a problem at all, but I feel that because of this want to be taken care of that you are too trusting of someone that can give that to you. From what you've previously said about Edward, he was very controlling and overbearing. More so like a father figure. Jacob also wanted to control you; he wanted to be the person you loved and wanted a relationship with, and he pushed you even when you rejected him." She looked over her notepad and bit at the end of her pen before continuing. "Does Embry control you?" I shook my head.

"Only if you count stopping my attempts."

"You learn from life's experiences and you grow from them. I think you have done just that in a short amount of time, Bella."

"Thank you, Dr. Garrity."

"Okay, that is all we have time for today. I'll see you on Tuesday at five, correct?"

"Yes." I stood and started towards the door.

"And Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"We all fall down sometimes, but it is important to remember that it gets better." I smiled and nodded and left the room.

When I left the building, Embry was waiting for me outside with a grim expression.

"What's with the long face, bud?"

"Did you just call me bud?"

"Heh, yeah."

"You're such a dork." He wrapped his arms around me and leaned down to kiss me. When he pulled away a small smile lay on his lips. "And to answer your question, I'm fine. Just thinking over things."

"Like what?"

"Where I'm going to take you on our first date." I blushed and couldn't help the wide grin that took over my face.

"We should go out of town. Eat our weight in Denny's food."

"Whatever you want, I'll make it happen." He kissed me again and for the first time since my backslide I started to feel hopeful again.

Yes, I went two steps backward, but that didn't mean I'd be in this bad place forever. I had friends, I had family, I had Embry. With their support, I could do anything I set my mind.

Embry and I pulled away from each other and slipped into my truck. As he drove us home, I couldn't help but look over at him and fall more in love.

Wow, love. What a weird concept. When had it started? Was it that day on the cliff or our first kiss?

I had no idea, but I did know one thing. I never wanted to stop.

We pulled into the driveway and he slipped his hand into mine before pulling it to his lips and leaving a kiss on it.

Yeah, I never ever wanted to stop.


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Realizations

**WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, BULLYING, MENTAL ILLNESS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, VIOLENCE, CHILD NEGLECT, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, MANIPULATIONS, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Sixteen.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

When I finally returned to school, all eyes were on me. They knew what happened, what I tried to do. Embry dropped me off, giving me passionate kiss and hug of encouragement. I was going to need it.

I made my way to my locker, ignoring everyone's stares and whispers. It was going to be hard being the girl who tried to kill herself. Now I wasn't just zombie Bella, I was suicidal Bella. I was crazy.

"Hey, Bella." I jumped but relaxed when I saw who it was. Angela, the only girl that stayed by my side. Who hadn't spread rumors about me around the school. "How are you doing?"

"I'm better."

"That's good." I felt sick as she took in her wary eyes, full of pity. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet…"

"Well, when you're ready to talk, I'll be there." We made our way to class, passing by Lauren and Jessica. The former gave me a glare while the latter looked guilty.

I chose to ignore both of them and held my head high, the confidence from my therapy session still running through my veins.

I could do this, I could make it through. I am worth it.

I slipped into my desk and smiled as the words started to sink in.

 _I am worth it, I am worth it, I am worth it._

* * *

Lunch was awkward, to say the least. Jessica looked downright guilty while Lauren just glared. The guys felt uncomfortable and refused to meet Bella's eye, while Angela was super attentive. Bella felt like she was suffocating.

"So, is it true?" Lauren implored hotly.

"Lauren-" Jessica tried to butt in but was cut off by Lauren's glare.

"What? I'm just asking a question." My face grew hot as all eyes turned to me. "Did you do it?"

"That's none of your business." Angela snipped.

"I don't even know why she'd do it, anyway. Maybe she wants attention."

"Why are you being so cruel?" Eric exclaimed, but Lauren's eyes were shifted onto Bella's wide brown ones.

"You act like you're so innocent, but we all know what kind of person you really are, Isabella." She took a sip of her lemonade. "Edward knew, and that reservation kid knew. It's no wonder they left you behind to _rot_."

"You need to lay off. Seriously." Tyler snapped, and Lauren was momentarily stunned. Tyler usually kept silent during the altercations because he knew how she was, but this time he spoke up. It was a rare occurrence.

"Poor Bella always needs someone to save her! Boohoo, I'm Bella! Someone said something mean to me so I'm going to slit my wrists!"

"Stop being such a bitch, Lauren!"

"You better watch it, Angela."

"I have always been there for you through thick and thin, but I can't support you on this. I won't. Either change your attitude or I'm done being your friend."

"You see? She's splitting us apart! This was your plan all along!"

"Have you been taking your medication?" Tyler inquired.

"Fuck off."

"You promised!"

"You promised you wouldn't leave me for anyone else. Now you're all leaving me for _her_."

"That isn't true at all, and you know it. You're attacking her for no reason."

"Sorry I can't be here, Tyler! Sorry I have to be stupid damaged Lauren instead of lame ass Bella!"

"I don't want her, I want you!"

"Bullshit." Tyler went to grab at her and she pushed him away with angry eyes. "Don't touch me!" She ran out of the back doors of the school with a wild look in her eye. Tyler went to follow after her, but Principle Greene stopped him.

Without thinking I followed after her.

"You're so stupid, you're so stupid, why are you so fucking stupid, Lauren?" Lauren muttered to herself as she pulled at her hair, almost as if she was going to rip it out. "Idiot, idiot, idiot. No wonder he wants her. She's so much nicer and prettier and smarter than you." Her hands untangled from her scalp and suddenly she slammed her head against the wall, a cry coming from her lips. I ran towards her and pulled her away from the wall.

"Lauren, stop!" My voice must have surprised her because she froze and turned towards me with wild eyes.

"Why can't you just leave me alone? Haven't I done enough to you?"

"What?" I stepped back a few steps as she stepped forward.

"I literally pushed you to kill yourself, Bella. Maybe you should go back inside and forget what you've seen. Let me finish this."

"What? No! Why would I do that?"

"Because I was a total asshole to you for no reason?"

"Hurt people hurt people."

"You're an idiot, you know that? No wonder he likes you. No wonder everyone likes you."

"They like you too, Lauren."

"Bullshit!" Her hands wrapped around my throat and fear filled my body. "Why do you have to exist? Why do you have to make life harder for me?"

"Lauren, please-"

"I just want to be loved, is that so hard? I'm pretty, I'm popular, I'm rich! But no one wants me!" Her hands fell away and I coughed, feeling light headed. "How can I be better?"

"You're good enough, Lauren. You don't need to impress people with good looks or riches. You're amazing the way you are." She started to sob and against my better judgment I pulled her into my arms and held her close.

Never would I have thought this would have happened. Me comforting my bully, the infamous poison-tongued Lauren Mallory? But life always seems to surprise me these days.

The bell rang, but she continued to cry, and I continued to hold her. The principle never came looking for us and neither did Tyler.

When she finally pulled away from me she wiped her eyes and said, "I need to get out of that house. My therapist says to stay out of toxic situations, and I can't deal with this anymore."

"What toxic situations?" But she didn't seem to hear me as she kept going on.

"I need to go to another session and go back on my meds. I can't get bad again. I can't. I refuse to."

"I'll support you, however, I can, Lauren." Her eyes turned back towards me and she nodded slowly.

"You're a good person, Bella Swan. Never change." With those words left lingering in the air she disappeared back into the school, leaving me to ponder.

What toxic situation was she in? What did she take medication for? How could I help her?

Without much else to do, I headed back into the school to my next class. My thoughts stayed on Lauren for the rest of the day.

* * *

 _Mike Newton's POV:_

"I can't do this anymore."

"What?"

"You're not the girl I fell in love with, Jessica. I feel like I don't even know you anymore."

"I-I can change. I can do better."

"You should, but I don't think I can be a part of it." Jessica started to cry, and I felt a lump in my throat start to form. "We're over."

"Please don't do this." I leaned down pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Live a good life, Jessie. Be the kind girl I know you can be." The bell rang, and everyone stormed from their classroom. I turned away from her and got lost in the crowd before heading to my locker. We had our last class together and I knew I wouldn't be able to look at her without trying to get her back. With my decision made I packed up my stuff and headed towards the exit.

When I made it to my car I turned it on and music blared through the speakers. The mix CD she had made me for our anniversary. Our song.

" _Hey there, Delilah. Don't you worry about the distance. I'm right there if you get lonely, give this song another listen. Close your eyes. Listen to my voice, it's my disguise. I'm by your side."_

Tears filled my eyes and started full out bawling in the school parking lot.

Breakups fucking sucked, let me tell you. Especially when you have to leave the person you love for yours and their benefit. Even though you wished you could run back and kiss them all over, you were unable.

 _Breakups? No, life fucking sucked._

I rubbed my eyes with my sleeve before pulling out of the parking lot and heading home.

 _Hopefully, I got over this soon or I'd be stuck heartbroken forever_ , I thought to myself bitterly. As the next song, One Wish by Ray J played through my speakers I started to cry again. _Yeah, hopefully._

* * *

 _Third person POV:_

"Why are you so obsessed with her? What's wrong with you?"

"I'm not obsessed with her!"

"Well, you're something! All you do is go on and on about how she's using Embry! But you have no proof what so ever!"

"I was wrong, okay? I made a mistake."

"Yeah, and a mistake… You're such a stupid sack of shit."

"Like you're any better! I don't see you apologizing to her for stealing me away." Jacob tutted at her and shook his head. "What an Emily thing to do."

"Wow, that was a low blow." Her lips pursed, and she tensed. "You know what? Get out."

"What?" He questioned softly. Without warning, Leah grabbed her ashtray from her nightstand and threw it at his head. He ducked, and it smashed to pieces on the door.

"Get out!" Jacob quickly hightailed it out of the room as she lifted a picture frame to lob at his head, body shaking. When he was gone she fell to her knees and let the tears fall.

How was it fair that she was stuck with an imprint that was in love with someone else? Was Sam falling for Emily not enough? Didn't she deserve happiness and love?

Seth slipped into the room and pulled his big sister into his arms before rocking her like a small child. His blood boiled to see her so broken again, and by none other than her soulmate.

The man that should never break her heart or make her cry.

It made Seth sick to his stomach as he thought of the boy he used to look up to and how far he had fallen. It was a damn shame.

As Leah's cries subsided and she started to fall asleep, Seth lifted her and lay her in the bed before slipping in himself. He held his sister as she fell into dreamland, only sleeping himself once he knew she was okay.

* * *

Emily Young and Sam Uley sat in their car outside of Forks Hospital. Emily cried into her fiancé's chest, her heart heavy and stomach sick. Sam felt helpless.

"What do we do, Sammy? How do we take care of a child with special needs?"

"Your parents raised Aspen just fine. We'll be able to do it, Emmy."

"I want them to have the best life and best opportunities." She wiped her eyes and looked up at him with swollen eyes. "I love them so much."

"I do too. And I know we can give them the best life and opportunities."

"How are you so sure?"

"We're Sammy and Emmy, of course, we can. We're awesome!" He kissed her scarred cheek and then captured her lips with his. When he pulled away, an excited smile appeared on her face.

"Thank you. You always know how to comfort me."

"Of course, I do. I'm your soulmate."

"Sam, we're going to be parents! Can you believe it?"

"No, it's amazing." They kissed again. "Absolutely amazing."


	18. Chapter Seventeen: Time of Change

**WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, MENTAL ILLNESS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, VIOLENCE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, MANIPULATIONS, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Seventeen.

* * *

 _Mike's POV:_

"You know, you did the right thing, man. Jess has been a real bitch lately." Tyler exclaimed as he handed Eric and me beers. We all opened our cans at the same time and took a sip.

"Don't call her that."

"It's the truth, though. She and Lauren were bullies." He rubbed his forehead in frustration. "And suddenly Bella and Lauren are BFF's? I don't understand anything anymore."

"Same here. Jessica's been AWOL since the breakup. Won't leave her room according to her mother."

"She'll come around," Eric exclaimed before taking another sip of his drink. As the conversation started to progress we decided to play truth or dare. Eric was the most hesitant. "How old are we, thirteen?"

"Come on, it'll be fun. Like old times."

"Ugh, fun. But you're going first."

"Okay, okay," Tyler cackled before continuing. "Truth or dare, Mike?"

"Uh, truth."

"Do you still like Bella?"

"As a friend, yeah. But not as anything else. She's super-hot, but we don't have much chemistry."

"I can dig that."

"Truth or dare, Eric?"

"Truth."

"Who do you have a crush on?"

"Can I change it to dare? I want to change it to dare."

"Nuh uh! Nope, you chose truth, now answer it."

"Fine…" He chugged the rest of his beer before crushing the can. His muscles rippled in the button up he wore, and I don't know how I didn't notice it before. Eric had been hitting the gym for a few months and he was making good results. "I like… you."

"Wait, what?"

"I like you, Mike." My cheeks heated up and I coughed.

"Wow, thanks, dude. I'm flattered." He sighed.

"Tyler you can have my turn, I'm going to get another drink." Eric stood up and disappeared into the house. I felt guilty and flattered at the same time. It was a weird feeling.

"So, Mike, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to kiss Eric."

"What! Dude, seriously?"

Tyler chuckled and threw his empty can on the ground before replying, "What, you chicken?"

"I don't want to hurt him."

"Then don't. Just ask if he'd be down and if not, I can change the dare." Eric walked back outside with a can of beer in hand, a small smile on his face. As he sat down, Tyler asked, "Would you be weird with Mike kissing you?"

"Huh, come again?"

"I dared him to kiss you. But if it's weird, I can change the dare." Eric was silent for a while and with nervousness, I chugged the rest of my beer before setting the can aside.

"Let's do it."

"Huh?"

"Kiss me."

"O-okay, here I go." And then I was leaning in. His eyes shut, but mine stayed open.

My first thought as our lips touched was, _how can someone's lips be so soft?_

Then there was tongue, and everything got real weird after that.

* * *

I woke up with a pounding headache and the urge to die right then and there. When I opened my eyes, the curtains were thankfully pulled, and the daylight didn't meet my gaze. My whole body felt warm and uncomfortable, and when I tried to move something was holding me down.

Or someone.

With cautious movements, I rolled out from under the human chains and fell to the floor on a pile of dirty laundry. Man, Tyler needs to do some laundry. This is just disgusting. Brushing myself off, I looked at who was keeping me held hostage. I almost choked.

Eric lay in only blue flannel pajama bottoms, massive bedhead going on, a small smile playing on his lips as he slept. Wow, when had his acne gone away? What was his skincare routine?

Wait, this is not the time. I needed to get out of here.

Patting myself down to make sure I was wearing all of my clothes, I grabbed my phone and charger and slipped on my shoes before escaping out the door.

The car ride back to my house was an emotional rollercoaster; I wanted to go back and kiss him again, but also forget it ever happened. I wasn't gay, right? I'd never been attracted to guys… No, I can't be. I'm Mike Newton, ladies man extraordinaire. I'm not attracted to boys.

When I got home my parents were gone, so I gave my sheepdog Champ a few belly rubs and then took a hot shower to wake me up. Even as I tried to erase it from my mind, all I kept thinking about were his soft lips and hands and everything.

Eric and Tyler were my best friends, so I knew almost everything about them. I was the first person Eric had come out to. I was also his crush.

As I thought of kissing him again, I groaned and lay my forehead against the shower wall.

 _This is insane, why do I feel like this so suddenly?_

I can admit he has become an attractive man, especially now that he has gotten rid of his acne and started wearing more fashion forward clothing. He even got a haircut that makes him look like a sweet baby boy.

 _Wait, sweet baby boy? Fuck, you're hopeless!_

With a sigh, I turned off the water and dried myself off before heading to my room. Slipping on a pair of boxers, sweats, and a graphic t-shirt that Jessica had gifted me on my birthday, I lay back on my bed and try to get some more shut eye.

But all my thoughts consisted of him and how sweet and smart he was and how I couldn't wait to kiss him again.

I groaned and rubbed my face in agitation.

 _What the hell was I going to do?_ If I was, in fact, gay, or bisexual, what would my parents do? They're paying for my college. They could take it back and kick me out.

Champ yipped and licked at my arm. I moved my hands from my face and chuckled.

"Come on, get up here. Let's figure this out together." In an instant, he jumped on the bed and lay beside me. "Buddy, would you care if I was… you know… bisexual?" He licked my cheek in return and I giggled. "Thank you. I well… I think I might be. Last night me and Eric ended up kissing and I got a bunch of weird feelings now."

He yipped again, and I snuggled into his fur.

"I guess I should just follow my heart. I don't think there's anything wrong with liking the same gender." I kissed his furry head and he licked my cheek again. "Okay, I'll do as you say. I'll follow my heart."

And so, I did. But it didn't pan out like I expected. No, it was much better.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

My first date. With Embry Call. And I have _nothing to wear_.

Angela, Rachel, Rebecca, and Riley sat on my bed as I sifted through my closet, flinging out my whole wardrobe as I searched for something nice.

"Belly, please, let me-"

"Maybe that shirt and that skirt? Wait, never mind. That is a travesty."

"I think B would look good in this. It even matches her eyes!"

"Yeah, and pigs can fly. No, let me choose. You all have lost your marbles."

Rachel stood up and pulled me away from the closet, even as I pathetically grabbed at the hanging clothes.

"Belly calm down. Let us help you look fabulous. Embry won't know what hit him when he sees you tonight."

"I'm hopeless. Nothing looks right."

"You're not hopeless at all!" Becca said confidently. "You're stunning and anything looks great on you."

"Yeah, totally stunning. You're the epitome of beauty and no one can tell me otherwise!"

"I second that," Angela exclaimed. "Come on, let's find the perfect outfit for your amazing date tonight."

* * *

Two hours later I was dressed to impress. Riley and Angela had picked out a pair of nice jeans and a nice blouse, along with a pair of flats. As I glanced at the makeup and hair that Becca and Rachel had tag teamed on, I felt a sinking nostalgia for my old best friend. I hadn't thought of Alice in so long, it felt foreign. As I tried to picture her in my head I discovered that my heart didn't hurt as much as before and I could even think back fondly. It was comforting to know that I was getting better even after my setback.

"Embry's one lucky guy, Bella. If you weren't like my sister I might have to take you out myself," Angela teased, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I second that. Damn, son. We did good."

"Hell yeah," Riley and Becca high-fived while Rachel snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Thank you, guys. This wouldn't be possible without you."

"Anything for our best girl. Now, when will he be here?"

I glanced at the clock and blanched. "Ten minutes. Holy crow, he's going to be here in ten minutes!"

As I began to hyperventilate, Riley grabbed my shoulders and exclaimed, "Calm down, B. You will be fine. Embry loves you and you love Embry. This is going to be a kick ass date, especially because you look like a goddess."

"Not that you don't always look like a goddess," Becca cut in with a nervous laugh. "You just are done up for a date-"

"Yes, you are always a natural goddess, but you are a glam goddess right now."

"The glammest goddess."

"You guys are dorks, but I love you."

"And we love you too, Bella," Rachel said, and then there was a loud crash from outside, followed by a knock. "Looks like your date is here, Bella. Better get down there and surprise your man."

"We'll come too. I want to see his jaw drop when he sees you." The five of us made our way downstairs just as Charlie was opening the door.

"Hey, Chief Swan, is Bella home?" Paul taunted and Charlie sighed.

"You know she is, Paul. Now come in, the both of you. She should be down any second."

"Here she is, miss America!" Riley's voice rang out and all eyes were on us. Or more importantly, me. Embry stepped through the door and stopped dead in his tracks. Paul whistled.

"Damn, Swan. Never knew you had an ass."

"Excuse me!" Charlie barked and Paul paled. Rachel burst into laughter.

"I-I mean, never knew you were a great looking young woman, Bella."

"That's much better." I walked down the rest of the stairs, thankfully without tripping, and walked over to where Embry still stood in front of the door. He held a bouquet of flowers in his hand and wore a nice button up and black jeans. His hair was pulled into a braid. He looked gorgeous.

"Hey, handsome," I exclaimed before holding up a pair of finger guns. Someone groaned in the background.

"Hey, gorgeous," Embry held up his own pair of finger guns as he replied. The flash of a camera brought us out of our weird flirting. When we looked over, Angela stood with her camera and a grin. Charlie stood beside her, wiping his eyes and coughing.

"You guys are so cute. Let me get a few pictures before you head out."

After a multitude of pictures were taken, some with Embry and I and then some with all of us, we headed out.

As I walked out the door, I could hear Paul whisper, "Damn, that ass, though." Then he groaned in pain.

"Shut the fuck up, you dick," Rachel whispered back before giggling. Even with the awkwardness between them they weren't letting it affect their friends.

I shook my head as Embry shut the door, and then I let him lead me to my truck.

"So, where do you want to go?"

"I say we do a traditional date. Dinner and a movie. And then a wicked makeout session in the truck before we head home." Embry chuckled but his eyes darkened at my words.

"You know, we could start the make out session right now."

"No! No, not with our friends and my dad in the house."

"Ah, good point. Okay, onwards to the Port Angeles! Next stop, Deer Park Cinema!"

"WOOHOO!" I cheered as we pulled out of the driveway and headed out of town. Embry's hand intertwined with mine and I felt warm all over. This is what I had craved for so long. This connection, this love, this companionship. This happiness.

And I was never going to let it go again.

* * *

 _Jessica's POV:_

Have you ever thought you were a great person, but then after looking at your constant stupid decisions you find that you're a horrible person? That was my life right now.

Laying in my bed, hand over my eyes, the guilt ate at me. Why did I do that? My mother didn't raise me this way. I didn't even get pleasure from bullying others. I was just so angry at her.

I'm 'pretty', but boys never look at me. They think I'm annoying or overbearing or clingy. And she comes in and doesn't even try and everyone loves her! How is that fair to us girls that try so hard and constantly fail?

But who was I to blame her for something that was out of her control? She didn't even want the attention. All she wanted was Edward Cullen. And he left her in the forest to die.

I could give the excuse that I tried to be her friend. That I went and saw a movie with her. That I was the victim when she went and rode on the back of that scary biker's motorcycle and left me by myself.

But Bella was sick, like Lauren. She wasn't in full control of her actions, yet I expected her to be and got angry when she wasn't.

From the very beginning, I used her to the full advantage and threw her away when I was done. I was a piece of shit and finally figured it out after losing the one boy that promised he'd never leave.

I sighed and rolled over onto my stomach, staring at the photo of Mike and I on my nightstand. And I started to cry.

No more, I was going to stop being a bad person. Tomorrow is a new day and I was going to turn my life around. Apologize to those who I've wronged.

I cried some more, covering my head with my comforter.

But today I'd let out all of my bad feelings and emerge a phoenix tomorrow.

It was the only way to save myself.

* * *

Bella stood by her locker, Angela by her side. I swallowed my nervousness and walked over to them. When Angela caught my eyes, her stare grew hard.

"Hey, Bella-"

"What do you want, Jessica?" Angela asked icily.

"I want to apologize."

"Apologize?"

"I'm sorry. For everything. I was a bad friend and person and I should have never bullied you." I took a breath. "I was jealous of you, of how easy you were able to get guys attention. I wanted Mike to notice me, but he didn't until you rejected him. It's no excuse, though. I was wrong for my actions."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to forgive me, I just want you to know I'm sorry. Okay, I'll go now." As I turned to go, she caught my arm. I turned back around and met her soft eyes.

"Hey, Jessica?"

"Yes?"

Next were the words I never thought I'd hear.

"I forgive you."

"You do?" I asked in shock.

"You do?" Angela's eyes widened too epic proportions.

"Yes. Everyone makes bad decisions when they are unhappy. It means a lot that you apologized and are willing to try and be better." She smiled. "I hope we can start over and be friends again."

"Yes, of course!" Bella smiled again before turning around and heading to her class. My shoulders felt light of the weight that previously held them down. I felt good for the first time in forever.

From this moment on, I'm going to be a better person. A nicer person. Mark my words, I am going to be great!

* * *

 _Mike's POV:_

"Eric, I like you-" I stopped short as I opened my locker. "No, that's not good enough. 'Eric, I think we should be boyfriends'. No, that's not good either…"

"You still hopelessly pinning over a guy that hopelessly pins over you?" Tyler inquired with a grin. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my textbook before shutting my locker.

"Shut up."

"Why don't you just ask him out? It's super simple, bro."

"I am going to today at lunch. And you're going to help me."

"What, how?"

"Just meet me in the bathroom close to the lunchroom during fourth period, okay?"

"Okay, I guess. I'm mildly fearing for my life, but okay."

"Don't worry, it's going to be awesome. You'll see."

* * *

It wasn't long before fourth period hit, and Tyler and I huddled into a bathroom stall, and mix CD in my hand and a fearful look on his face.

"You want me to do what?"

"Just this once, please."

"If I got caught I would get my ass beat!"

"Come on, please?"

"No, no way. You're on your own." Tyler went to unlock the door.

I grabbed his arm, pleading, "I'll do anything. Please, just help me."

"Anything?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll do it."

"What do you want in return?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

With a sigh, I followed him out of the stall and got to work. From my locker, I retrieved a bouquet of roses. I made work of hiding in the lunchroom, eager to get the perfect spot to jump out of.

The school period ended, and lunch began. The cafeteria quickly filled up and my eyes caught Eric sitting at the lunch table. My heart thudded in my chest and I swallowed my nervousness.

 _You can do this, Mike. You can get your man._

As if on cue the song started to play through the lunchroom speakers.

My body came out of the shadows as I slowly walked over to Eric, my eyes wide with nervousness but a smile on my lips.

"Mike, what are you doing?" Eric questioned as I handed him the flowers.

"What I should have done days ago." Without thinking I pressed my lips to his and pulled him out of his seat. When I pulled away he chuckled.

"Well, aren't you a romantic."

"Only for you." I pulled him into a hug, breathing in his cologne. " _Like a river flows, surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes, somethings are meant to be._ "

" _Take my hand, take my whole life too_." He sang along with me. Bella whistled, and Jessica cheered.

" _For I can't help, falling in love with you_ …" I kissed him again and everything felt complete. If only I had done this months ago. If only I had figured out my feelings, so I could be with him even longer.

But as he kissed my cheek and pulled me down to sit next to him, I couldn't find it in myself to regret anything. This bond we shared could go on for a lifetime. I hoped it did.

"Some things are meant to be," Bella exclaimed with a wistful look towards us, and Eric grinned in reply. I put my arm around him and kissed his cheek before stealing one of his fries. It was a good day.

In the office, Tyler slipped out without being seen. Lauren waited for him by the office doors and kissed his face all over.

"I love you, cupid." She whispered before pulling him out of the school and towards his car.

"I love you too, my sweet sugar cube. Forever and always."

* * *

 _Paul's POV:_

It had been over two weeks since Rachel had rejected me, and life had turned to shit. What was once fun now felt boring to me. I barely ate and slept, and I couldn't even have sex! It was as if she had sucked the joy out of my life and I was a walking zombie. The mess with Bella had distracted me for a while, but now I was left to my own devices again.

But no more. I was done feeling lifeless. I was done being depressed. I was done be heartbroken.

Rachel was going to know the truth and fix this. Or so help me I will lose it.

And with that in mind, I stalked over to the Black house with one set goal; get my imprint. I knocked twice on the door and it opened five seconds later. A beautiful goddess stood on the other side of the door, long hair pulled into a pony tail and face free of makeup.

When Rachel noticed who it was, she slammed the door in my face.

I stood there momentarily stunned for a few seconds before knocking again. When she didn't answer I kept knocking.

It took her ten more minutes to yank the door open and squawk, "What!"

"I'm a fucking werewolf and I imprinted on you and now you're my soulmate so please stop ruining my life!"

"Wait, what?"

"Why did you have to move here? I was happy fucking people and being single and free. Why did you have to come in here looking all cute and shit? What the fuck, Rachel!"

"Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not! Fuck you, you ruined my life!"

"Fuck me? No, fuck you! You fucking jerk, you ruined my life! I haven't been able to enjoy weed in weeks!"

"Well, sorry, princess. It's a damn shame you can't enjoy the devil's lettuce. It breaks my heart!"

"Eat my ass, Lahote."

"Only if you're offering." I winked at her and suddenly a growl ripped her mouth. She trembled, and her eyes darkened. I damn near shit myself. "Oh, fuck."

"Run." And I did. I ran straight into the forest and climbed a damn tree. She followed right after me and then exploded into a large wolf covered in russet brown fur that matched her brother's.

"Oh shit! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" She jumped at the branch I currently sat on and I crawled higher. "Go away!" Rachel growled in reply before running full force at the tree.

 _Please, someone, save me from my batshit imprint before I die a horrible death. Spirits, if you're listening, make sure Seth gets my PS2. Not Quil._

Just as I was kissing my sweet ass goodbye, a large black wolf entered the scene and Rachel fell to the ground, docile to the alpha voice. Seconds later I was falling and phasing at the same time, my body not my own.

Rachel's voice entered my head and I couldn't help my thoughts unloading. I loved her, I loved my imprint. My imprint _, mine_.

" _You stupid sack of shit, you were supposed to explain it slowly, not throw it at her all at once!"_

" _Fuck off. You try getting rejected by your imprint and see how you like it!_ " Emily's scarred face immediately popped into my head and I shrieked. _"Sorry, sorry. Damn it, shit. I shouldn't have said that!"_

" _Shut the fuck up, both of you. You're giving me a damn headache!"_ Immediately both of her minds quieted, as if by some force not our own. What the… _"Thank you, finally. Sheesh, you guys are a mess. Now, what is this about pea brain being in love with me? Is this some ploy to get me to suck on his balls? Because if so I'll have to shut that down real fast."_

" _No, it isn't a ploy. Paul's imprinted on you. Imprinting is when we find our soulmate. He can be like a brother, a friend, or even a lover to you. But it is your choice."_

" _Shit, wow. So, what the fuck were you doing fucking someone else, you shit head?"_ This question was directed at me.

" _I've never let myself be tied down. Saves me from feeling and being hurt again. But then you showed up and make me have the biggest nut while I'm balls deep in someone else. Has to be the worst and best cum of my life."_

" _Too much information, Paul!"_

" _You damn dog, no wonder I rejected you!"_ I looked up from my view of the ground and our eyes met. And the insane happened. _"Well, shit. I guess we're lovers now because I just fucking imprinted on you, genius."_

" _Come again?"_

" _Stupid ass, come on. Let's go talk at yours and figure this shit out before Sam has an aneurism."_

" _Thanks, really. You're too kind."_

" _I try."_

" _Man, this is crazy. Wait till Emmy hears about this."_ They both disappeared and then all I saw was Sam's naked ass disappear from view. And what a thick ass it was. Emmy should be proud.

"You're such an idiot. Come on, baby boy. Let's figure this shit out." Rachel, butt ass naked, leant me her hand and I dove to take it. Usually, I'd be checking out her delicious goodies for all they're worth, but now I was lost in the feel of her fingers intertwined with mine and how pretty her smile was.

Damn, I'm a whipped bitch and I love it.

It didn't take long to make it back to mine and escape into my house, nude and all.

I gave her a shirt and sweatpants to wear while I just settled for sweatpants. Then we sat on my bed, silent as ever. It was awkward as hell.

"So, we're soulmates or whatever."

"Yep."

"Are you okay with this?"

"Well, you're not the worst person to be stuck with. You're beautiful, smart, funny. I used to have a crush on you when I was like ten too, so this is me living the ultimate dream."

"You're so stupid." She put some hair behind her ear and grinned. Paul junior twitched in my sweatpants and I swallowed. "I think I'm okay with this too. We can date and do all the shitty stuff soulmates do. It doesn't seem so bad, I guess."

"N-nope, not at all."

"You okay?"

"Yeah! Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"I can smell how much you want me, baby boy." She whispered huskily into my ear and I swear I almost nutted on the spot. No girl had ever had this kind of effect on me. Until now.

Rachel was an enigma.

Her lips pressing to mine cut off my thoughts, and suddenly everything felt right in the world. She climbed on top of me, her skin warm against my own. I moaned as her teeth nipped at my earlobe.

We spent the rest of the day cooped up in my bedroom exploring each other's bodies. It was one hell of a first date if I ever saw one.

* * *

 _Rebecca's POV:_

Some days were easy and consisted of helping at the Ateara General Store and rocking my babies to sleep. Some days were harder, like slowly pulling a band aid off when you know you should just rip it in one go. This was one of those days.

Hidden in the back of the garage sat beautiful watercolor paintings. One was of a mother and her two daughters, and another was of a son with the shadow of a gray wolf in the background.

My favorite was the one of the sea, the blue green wispy waves crashing against the orange coast. It calmed me, but also brought on a wave of sad nostalgia.

Sarah Black had always been an excellent painter and I thought I would follow in her footsteps. But then the unthinkable happened. Years later I forgot about my dream and jumped at the first chance at happiness and was burned for it.

But now I was going to change my fate.

With my newly bought watercolors and canvas in hand, I sat myself up on the beach and got to work. To make my mother proud. To make me proud.

* * *

 _Third person POV:_

"You act like you're so much better than me, Lee! But that's bullshit!" For the third time that week, Leah and Jacob argued. Sue and Harry had left to Billy's to escape the violent wolves while Seth lay on his bed, alert in case anything went awry.

"Sorry, I didn't know me not bullying someone made me a better person! Wow, what a crazy concept!" Jacob's face looked similar to a tomato and Leah half-feared it would explode all over her bedroom. The other half of her was too angry to give a shit.

"You used to bully everyone after Sam left you!"

"No one cared about me! I was an outsider. Everyone loved Emily and hated me. For no reason!"

"Probably because Emily isn't a bitch all the time." As soon as the words left Jacob's mouth, Seth stormed into the room.

"What the fuck did you just call my sister!"

"Seth, calm down-"

"You don't get to disrespect her! You don't get to call her names when she puts up with your childish bullshit, Jacob."

"Stay out of our damn business, Seth! This doesn't concern you."

"If it has to do with my sister crying herself to sleep again then it concerns me, mighty alpha. Oh wait, _you're_ too much of a bitch to take on the responsibility and have to settle for putting other's down to feel better about yourself."

"Seth, just go. I can handle it." Seth ignored his sister's please as he got in the older boy's face.

"You come into my parents home and disrespect their daughter? You eat our food and never pay a dime back and then cause huge amounts of stress on my father after he just left the hospital? He almost died, and you're worried about Leah thinking she's better than you? You need to get your priorities straight! Grow up, it isn't always about you!"

"You don't know anything about me."

"I'm sorry that Bella didn't want you, but you can't keep blaming everyone around you. You're imprinted now. Move on."

"Get out, Seth!" Leah growled.

"You're going to appreciate my sister even if I have to beat it into you, you sick fuck."

"I'd like to see you try."

It all happened so fast. Leah couldn't stop it. Jacob couldn't defend himself. Seth felt sick at the sight of all the blood.

Leah screeched as she tried to pull Seth off of Jacob's body, his fist punching over and over into his face. Seth saw red and trembled as he fought off the urge to phase.

With tears streaming down her face, Leah called the last person she ever wanted to talk to.

"Sam? I need your help."

His voice was muffled as he answered, "What's going on?"

"Seth's killing Jacob."

"What?"

"We were arguing and Seth came in and now he's beating him to death!"

"I'm heading over now."

"Hurry, please." She hung up and covered her ears as Seth growled before continuing to pumble her boyfriend.

 _Please, please hurry. He's gone crazy and I can't stop it. Please, please, please._


	19. Chapter Eighteen: Schwasted

**_A/N:_** _Hello, readers! It's been a while since we've talked. I'm so happy you all love the story so much! All of your reviews give me the inspiration and drive to continue writing. Thank you so much for your support and love of 'Drifting Away'. Now, if you're interested in reading more from me, check out 'Her Chocolate Eyes', 'Curly Sue and the Big Bad Wolf', 'Charlie's Christmas', and 'Calling from the Ashes'. They're all ongoing and are updated somewhat frequently. Okay, now that that's out of the way, review or PM me if you have any questions are comments. Now, on with the story!_

 **WARNING: GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, MENTAL ILLNESS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, VIOLENCE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, UNDERAGE DRINKING, UNDERAGE SEXUAL SITUATIONS, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Eighteen.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

My last day at Forks High wasn't what I expected. There were no bullies, no hateful backhand comments, no Labrador-like admirers, no pinning after some inhumanly beautiful jerk. No, instead I had close-knit friends that supported me, and my close-knit friends had amazing relationships, especially the surprising but amazing Mike and Eric. And I was in love with my best friend, Embry Call, who has the cheesiest pickup lines and a smooth voice that calms down my worst panic attacks. I was loved and loved in return. My happiness knew no bounds.

The day passed quickly and soon I was leaving. It was a sad and happy affair. I'd miss this school and all it taught me, but I was ready to move on to bigger and better things. Such as a secretary job at the Forks Police Force. Embry would be working part-time at the Ateara General Store to save up for his own car.

That night Jessica threw a huge graduation party. Her family was out of town and she faked being sick, so she would have the house to herself. I feared getting caught at the wrong place at the wrong time, but Embry said he would protect me.

"What are you wearing to the party?" Embry asked as we walked into my room after having an after-school snack.

"Probably a t-shirt, a flannel, and some jeans."

"Why flannel?"

"If I get hot I can tie it around my waist. If I get cold, I already have something to keep me warm."

"Ah, good idea. Maybe the Chief will let me borrow one of his."

"Just take one, he won't notice. I do all the time."

"You little thief." He teased, and I blushed before grabbing my clothes and heading to the bathroom to change. It was so easy to be with him. With Edward, I had always felt inferior. With Jacob, I always felt scared of losing him. With Embry, it was comfortable. I felt at ease being with him.

Dr. Garrity had told me it was great that I had found someone like him. I couldn't help but agree with her.

When I was presentable, I walked back into my room and gasped. Embry had always been fit, but nowadays he was bulkier and larger than before. He winked at me before slipping the white V-neck shirt on. It stretched across his muscles in the sexiest way and I felt myself becoming faint.

"Like what you see?"

"Uhuh."

"I guess working out at Paul's really does make girls fall at my feet."

"Oh, hush," I slapped his chest and he laughed in return before pulling my body to his and pressing a sweet kiss to my lips. I melted instantly into him. He was so warm and loving, so different from Edward, who had been cold and resistant. I ate up the affection eagerly.

When he pulled away he kissed my nose and held my waist in a gentle hold, grinning down at me.

"Thank you for choosing me." He exclaimed, and I blushed.

"I should be thanking you. You've changed my life in so many ways. I'm so grateful for you." I said back before laying my head on his chest.

"I love you, baby."

"I love you too." We stay that way for a while before pulling away and finishing getting ready. Twenty minutes later we were on our way to the Stanley residence, Embry's hand on my thigh and my head on his shoulder. When we pulled up, Angela, Eric, and Mike were waiting by Mike's car, the latter two locked in a full-on make out. Angela didn't even seem to be bothered by it, just happy that her friends were happy.

"Hey, Belly. You ready to party tonight?" Eric asked as he pulled away from Mike, a smirk on his swollen lips. I shrugged in reply, interlacing Embry, and I's fingers.

"Jessica's been setting up all day. I'm so ready to get schwasted," Angela exclaimed with a grin.

"That makes two of us, Angie," Mike said before kissing Eric's cheek. "Okay, come on party people. Let's get shit faced!"

"Hell yeah, baby," Eric cheered before pulling Mike into another lip lock. The rest of us left the happy couple kissing against their car, eager to make the most of what would probably our last night together before graduation.

The music was already too loud, and the drinks were flowing like no tomorrow. Embry grabbed a bottle of whiskey and poured us both a cup. It was bitter, but I gulped it down like it was the last water on earth. Go hard or go home, am I right?

"Didn't take you for a drinker, Belly," Lauren teased, pulling Tyler along with her. He sported his own cup while she held a water bottle. Since our weird argument during lunch, she and I had started to grow closer. It was actually nice, surprisingly.

"Didn't take myself for one either. You're not partaking?"

"Nope, I'm driving Ty and Lexi home."

"Lexi?"

"She's my junior cousin. Probably shouldn't be drinking, but when was I ever a good influence?" Without giving me a chance to answer she yanked Tyler in the other direction, screeching about how many pepperoni and cheese crackers she was going to devour. I drank more of the bitter whiskey, bobbing my head to the popular pop song that blared through a large pair of speakers in the living room.

I glanced over at Embry, only to see that he was smirking at me.

"What, do I have something on my face?"

"Yeah," He leaned over and cupped my cheek with his free hand. "Beauty." I snorted and slapped his hand away as I started to flush an angry red.

"So cheesy, you should be arrested," Suddenly, the image of him in a tight officer costume made me blush harder. I coughed and sipped more of my drink before continuing, "Or maybe you could arrest me instead."

"W-what?"

"I mean, I've been pretty bad. Underage drinking and all…" I hadn't been this wild since I attempted to seduce Embry in my bedroom. But the alcohol must be getting to me, I suppose.

Embry's eyes darkened a tad and he leaned in again, lightly biting into my earlobe before replying, "My bad girl, what am I going to do with you?"

The whole room got a thousand degrees hotter. I turned to face him and just as our lips were about to touch, something interrupted.

Or someone. An annoying someone.

"Embry, my man! What are you doing at J's party?"

"Quil?"

"The one and only… Oh crap, did I interrupt? I'm sorry!" Quil didn't look the least bit sorry. I scrunched up my nose and glared. He glared back, sticking his tongue out.

Just as I was about to stick mine out, Embry came in between us with a soft smile, "Okay, children. There's enough of me to go around. And to answer your question, Bella's friends with Jessica." As Embry spoke, Quil glanced over at me as a sly grin slid on his face. I narrowed my eyes.

"So, you're going to help me then?"

"With what?"

"Getting her to let me in her secret garden." Embry scoffed at Quil's words, but I just furrowed my brow. _Secret garden?_

"Huh?"

"Her flower." _What was he on about now?_

"What are you talking about? Flower? I didn't know she gardened."

"Seriously, Bella? I meant her pussy!" I screeched and went to cover his mouth, trying to stop anymore vulgar language from coming out.

"Ew! You're such a perv!"

"Says the one roleplaying with Embry in the middle of a party."

Chugging back the rest of my beer, I handed the cup off to Embry and glared at Quil. "You really don't want my help do you?" He paled and grabbed my shoulders lightly before shaking me.

"Come on, Bella! I did you solid."

"How so?"

"I beat the shit out of Jake?" _Okay, I guess I had to give that to him._

" _Okay_ …" I huffed. "I guess I can help you…"

"Thank you so much!"

"But you better know consent! NO MEANS NO!"

"Of course, of course! I just need to grab her before she starts on the Hennessey or it's a no go." Quil disappeared and minutes later he was flanked by Jessica, who seemed like she hadn't had a drop to drink. Quil glanced down at her pink tube top and almost drooled. I smacked the back of his head.

"Down, boy! Be a gentleman."

"Fine, fine!"

"Hey, Bella! How are you enjoying your freedom from the chains of institutionalized schooling?"

"I love it. I'll miss school, but I'm ready to start a new chapter in my life."

"Man, I'm ready to start college and meet a bunch of hotties. College guys are the best," Quil turned to me with wide eyes and I shrugged.

"Quil's sort of like a college guy!" I blabbed and they all raised an eyebrow at me, confused by my statement. "I mean, he's big and sexy and smart and is probably super nice under that asshole façade!" Embry covered his hand with his mouth to cover his laughter as my face turned maroon. Jessica gave me an odd look again before bursting into giggles.

"Well, you're not wrong. Quil is pretty sexy," She purred before running a hand down his shirt covered abs. He sucked in a breath.

"You better head on upstairs, you two. Have some good old fashions fun!" I blurted out again before pushing them towards the stairs. "Use protections and consent. And remember, have fun!" Without another glance in our direction, they rushed upstairs, almost giggling with anticipation.

As they disappeared from sight I sighed and covered my face with my hands.

"I can't believe that just happened. 'He's probably nice under that asshole façade!' Oh my gosh, Bella. You're such a goob," Embry was almost crying from laughter. I pouted and sighed again.

"Stop it, I can't believe that happened. It didn't even take that much to set them up!"

"They've been flirting for a while, even before she and Mike broke up. I guess you just pushed them in the right direction." Embry pulled me into his arms and we swayed back and forth to the music blasting from the speakers.

"I hope something good comes out of it."

"I'm sure something will, baby. Now, how about we make some of our own magic happen?" He waggled his eyebrows and I cackled in glee.

"Come here, you dork," Our lips molded together like fine clay and soon we were lost in each other's tastes.

* * *

"How's Seth doing?" Embry asked Paul as they sipped from their beers. Paul had shown up with Rachel an hour earlier after Rachel decided she wanted everyone to know he was taken. She lay on his lap, arms around his neck and eyes steely as she glanced all of the women glancing in their direction. I sat cuddled up next to Embry, my head on his shoulder. My fingers drummed to the beat of a song I knew vaguely, one of Eric's favorites.

"Better. He feels horrible about what he did, but Jake's a dumbass. I think he kind of deserved it for treating his imprint like that."

 _I guess even soulmates can have unhealthy relationships_ , I thought to myself before sipping from the red solo cup. The alcohol was warming up my body and I was starting to feel looser and looser. It was nice to let go for a change.

"How long do you think Leah can make him stay away?"

"Only time will tell. She was very adamant."

"I don't blame her."

"We should ask her to hang out sometime. I'm sure she needs people in her corner," I said to Rachel. She smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, Lee-Lee needs a big huge and a gallon on ice cream. How about we plan something out tomorrow?"

"Sounds cool."

As the night went on I felt myself grow more and more tired, the excitement of the day wearing on me. After the third time Embry woke me up, he gave me a soft look and said, "Want to head home?"

"You think that'd be okay?"

"Of course, you've had a big day. You need your rest," With careful movements, he stood up and lifted me onto his back. I grasped around his neck lightly.

"See ya, buddy," Paul exclaimed with a wave.

"I'll text you tomorrow about the Lee-Lee plans, Belly," Rachel said, and I nodded in reply. Then we were walking out of the house. The party was still booming and inviting, but as we stepped out of the front door and into the quiet sidewalk, I didn't want to be anywhere but here.

* * *

 _Third person POV:_

Jessica woke up with a pounding headache and warm arms wrapped around her. When she opens her eyes all she sees is the boy she slept with last night. Quil Ateara was huge, sexy, and knew how to use his mouth in ways one would dream of. She swallowed as she remembered his tongue and whined when his fingers suddenly found her lady bits and massaged the flesh there.

"Wet already, baby?" He asked huskily before leaning in and kissing down her neck. Jessica whined and rubbed into his hand. Quil slipped in two fingers easily.

"Mmm, Quil,"

"Yes, say my name."

"Quuuuuil."

"Ugh, fuck," He slipped inside of her easily. It only took a few thrusts to have them both coming and with a hiss, Quil slipped out of her.

They went to work putting on their clothes and then sat down next to each other on her bed.

"So, is this a one-night stand or will this become more frequent?" Jessica asked as she pulled her hair into a bun. Quil licked his lips absentmindedly.

"I'd like it to be more frequent if you were up for it."

"I like that idea," They both leaned in and kissed for a few seconds. When she pulled away a pained look appeared on her face. "Oh shit."

"What, what is it?"

"My aunt is supposed to drop off some medicine for me, but my house is trashed. She'll snitch on my ass for sure."

"Calm down. It's okay, I'll help you."

"You'd really do that for me?"

He pressed his lips to hers again before replying, "Of course, I would."

The next few hours consisted of throwing bag upon bag of trash in Quil's truck bed and doing a crazy load of dishes. Just as Jessica finished vacuuming, the doorbell rang. Quil gave her a thumbs up before ejecting himself out of her bedroom window as she giggled in delight.

The only thing that ran through his head as he raced through backyards was, _I wish that I was Jessie's girl, I wish that I was Jessie's girl_ , a badly worded parody of Jessie's Girl. It took all he had to not cringe at himself.


	20. Chapter Ninenteen: Lifes a Whirlwind

_**A/N:** Hello, my lovely readers! I've been trying to write two chapters and then post, but I threw that idea away for another time and decided to post this now. I've gotten some lovely reviews, but one stuck out to me the most. To the Guest review who said I turned Jacob into a narcissistic bastard, in a way I guess I did. What I was trying to do with this story was show that everyone is hurting in some way. Bella had to deal with abandonment issues and Jacob has to deal with his choices being ripped away from while still dealing with his past and current feelings. Jacob isn't a villain, he is merely living his life. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. That doesn't mean he's a horrible person. Jacob didn't mean to push Bella to attempt and neither did Lauren. They were both just hurt and dealing with their own demons and didn't think how it would affect others. I hope you continue to read the story because everything goes up from here._

 _Okay, now that I'm done with that tangent, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Reviews and tell me what you think! Happy reading!_

 **WARNING:** **GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, MENTAL ILLNESS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, VIOLENCE, GORE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, UNDERAGE DRINKING, UNDERAGE SEXUAL SITUATIONS, CHILD ABUSE, STALKING, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Nineteen.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

 _"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case, a princess. When we were ten, they asked again. We answered rockstar, cowboy, or in my case, a gold medalist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this, "Who the hell knows?" This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions, this is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love. A lot. Major in philosophy because there is no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind and change it again, because nothing's permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday when they ask what we wanna be, we won't have to guess. We'll know."_

Jessica's speech still sits ingrained in my mind even as Dad, Embry, and I ate at the diner. Mom had called to congratulate me and give an excuse about why she couldn't make it. I tried to not feel too disappointed. We hadn't been close since I moved and of course, she'd want to be with Phil all of the time. I mean, I felt similarly around Embry.

He looked up from his plate and gave me a close-mouth grin, his mouth full of cheeseburger. I shoved a fork-full of chicken salad into my mouth and laughed while trying not to choke.

"So, Bells, you and Em have any plans tonight?"

"Not really-"

"Actually, we're going to La Push."

"Huh?"

"I think I'll go over myself. I haven't seen Billy in a few days."

"I don't think I want to-" Embry cut me off again by shoving a forkful of salad into my mouth. I glared as I chewed, my heart pitter-pattering as he smiled down at me.

What was he planning? Why was he being so sneaky?

My questions were answered when pulled up to his downtrodden house, which was full of light.

"What's going on?"

"I got permission from the council to use it for the night." He led me into the house with a hand on the small of my back and my heart started to pound.

As soon as we stepped through the door a loud, "SURPRISE!" thundered through the small house. Thirty of my friends and family filled the living room. Angela, Eric, and Mike sat on the couch and Lauren and Tyler stood against the wall. Emily, Seth, and Paul were in the middle of pouring drinks for people. Sam sat in a recliner. He waved a can of beer in acknowledgment and I nodded in reply.

"I'm so proud of you, Bells." Dad exclaimed as he pulled me into a tight embrace. Everyone cheered loudly. My eyes were ringing, and I couldn't stop the grin that took over my face.

"What is all of this?" I asked dad as Embry held my waist with a warm hand.

"Your graduation party."

"Wha- How-"

"Embry planned it. With help from us of course," Rachel exclaimed as she, Becca, and Angela walked over. They were all wearing matching shirts titled 'Rad Pack' and had a picture of all of us and Riley together from when they helped me on my first date with Embry.

"Riley helped too, but she had a family event and couldn't make it. She told me to give you this, though," Angela handed me a thirty-dollar gift card to Barnes&Noble. I took it gratefully, my hands shaking as my emotions ran rapid.

I turned to Embry as tears filled my eyes. He rubbed his neck bashfully, his cheeks pink.

"You did all this for me?"

"Of course. You deserve it, baby."

Even with everyone watching us, I pulled jumped and wrapped my arms and legs around Embry before kissing him passionately. He kissed me back just as wildly, holding me close.

A minute passed before dad loudly screeched, "O-okay, kiddos! Break it up!"

The party went on until midnight and then Charlie relented in letting Embry stay in my room with me. I slept better than I had in weeks with his arms wrapped around me.

* * *

If you had asked me months ago where I thought Jacob and I would be now, I wouldn't have thought here. My stomach was in tight knots of anxiety and I felt nauseous. I wouldn't be here if I hadn't had urgings from my therapist, but part of me felt a weight lift off my shoulders as I looked him over. The feelings I had were almost gone. There would probably always be a tiny piece of him in my heart, like Edward, but I wasn't in love with him. Not by a long shot.

We sat at our sacred spot on the beach, a tense silence between us. He looked tired with heavy bags under his eyes and his cheeks sucked in slightly. To put it lightly, he looked like shit.

"I know I look horrible," He said knowingly, a grim expression on his face.

"You really do."

"You don't, though."

"Hmm?"

"You look a lot better. Healthier, happier. It looks good on you." A smile spread across my lips as I thought of all the reasons why.

"Thank you…" Another tense silence set in until I blurted, "You know, It's not your fault."

"Huh?"

"My attempts. They weren't all you. It was just everything, you know? Edward and his family leaving, my friends distancing themselves. Even my mother and father have played a part."

"I set you off, though." Jacob ran a shaking hand through his hair, which had grown to his shoulders and looked unbrushed. "I came to the school when I shouldn't have. It was so wrong of me, Bells." I flinched as the nickname came from his mouth, but felt a warm feeling enter my stomach.

"No, you didn't. That was Lauren. She called me a slut."

"Aren't you good friends now?"

"Everyone has stuff going on behind the scenes. I was just the easiest target to take her pain out on."

"That doesn't make it right."

"I've done my fair share of bad things too. I led you on, for instance."

"I'm a hormonal teenage boy. It doesn't take much."

"Still, I used you to make myself feel better. When was I ever there for you? I've been dealing with my own problems, yes, but I never tried in my friendships anyway."

"Bella, you're a good person. Don't sell yourself short. I mean, you saw the good in those bloodsuckers of yours. And you fell for Embry."

"And you take care of your father and work a part time job to put food on the table, not to mention turn into a giant wolf and protect your tribe," I lay a hand on his shoulder and felt him relax. "Jake, you're a good person. You've just made bad choices lately. But you only did that because you thought I was using Embry."

"I just never understood what you saw in _him_." It didn't take a genius to figure out that he meant Edward.

"Em didn't either. But it was complicated… We shared similar interests. He was a bit of a nerd like me, I suppose."

"I can understand that. Leah is the only one that understands my love for tater tots… I mean, it's crunchy shaped potatoes. Kind of like a hash brown, but not." His eyes took on a glazed and happy look. That sunshine smile of his that I loved appeared on his face.

But as soon as it had appeared it was gone. "Shit, I really blew it, didn't I?"

"With Leah? Yeah, you messed up."

"I don't know why I kept arguing with her. She kept telling me to leave you alone, but I was so angry. I thought you just wanted to get back at me and use Embry in your fiendish plans. I mean, I didn't want to imprint. I hated the idea, but then it happened, and it was the best, you know? But I…"

"What?"

"I still loved you. It didn't just disappear. The feelings I had were so confusing… My head was a mess. On one hand, I wanted her so much but then you'd pop into my head and I'd feel sick to my stomach because why did I want my best friend when I had my soulmate? Shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's okay. It's good to talk about your feelings with someone."

"I still love you, I do, just not in the same way. You're my best friend and my first love, but that's all…" Tears suddenly trailed down his cheeks and he choked out a laugh. "I-I never thought it would end like this, you know? I thought one day I'd make an honest woman out of you and carry you through my doorway and make you Mrs. Bella Black."

"I-I did too… That day I caught you together… I was going to accept your feelings. I was ready to move forward, but then I all turned to shit. I was left again, and it hurt so much. The pain came back tenfold. And you didn't even care to come check up on me."

"I'm sorry, Bells."

"Let me finish please," His mouth snapped shut as he waited for me to continue. "I probably would have been better if you had explained and told me first thing, but you didn't. There's nothing that can change that. But a few weeks passed and suddenly I started hurting myself and then I came up with a plan to jump off a cliff," I swallowed and felt my anxiety rise. "Embry pulled me back when I jumped and calmed me down. He stayed with me through the night and next day. It was only after my second attempt that he told Charlie what was going on. After that, I started therapy and was doing great until that setback."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's a process. One blip in the grand scheme of things. I may get bad again, but I know that I have a strong support system to hold me when times get tough."

The breeze blew the smell of salt into my nose and I closed my eyes as I let good feelings wash over me.

"Let's move past this. Forgive and move forward."

"Do you think we can?"

"Yes, I do. We're Bells and Jake, right?" A cheeky grin found its way on my face and he grinned back. His hand slipped into mine and I felt a hole in my chest close up.

 _I've got my best friend back._

"Bells and Jake, best friends forever."

"Forever."

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

The last day of school. Finally.

As I exited the bane of my existence I felt a smile grace my lips.

I had all summer to spend with my lovely girlfriend. Wow, girlfriend. _Bella was my girlfriend._

If I wasn't so insecure I would jump up and down and squeal.

Quickly, I slipped onto my motorcycle and started it up. As I drove out of La Push and back to Forks, I couldn't stop thinking of my _girlfriend_.

I'm so damn lucky, aren't I?

* * *

 _Seth's POV:_

We were best friends. He was half-Quileute on his mother's side and stuck out like a sore thumb with his pale ass skin. He could play the guitar like a god.

And my tongue was currently down his throat as he held me against the wall behind the school, hands tangled in my long hair and teeth nipping at my bottom lip.

"Seth," Adam, my best friend, rasped out as I whined into his mouth. "Be mine."

"You really want to do this?"

"Of course, I do. I love you." We kissed some more, and his hand cupped my cheek.

"I love you too, Adam. Always have."

"Be mine?" Adam asked again, and I nodded before pulling his lips back to mine.

* * *

 _Third person POV:_

"Sully, no! Momma said not to touch that!" Rebecca said as she pulled her son from playing in the toilet. He just cackled in reply before toddling in the other direction, no doubt trying to get into my trouble. Angela sat on the couch with Joey in her arms, running a hand through his hair. He smiled up at her as he sipped from his sippy cup, his dark eyes sleepy.

Billy sat in his recliner, snoring and dead to the world.

Angela felt warm here, holding Becca's son and listening to the background noise. This was the best background music.

As thoughts filled Angela's head, Becca entered the room again with a giggling Sully, a tired smile on her face.

Blushing, Angela turned her face towards the now sleeping boy in her arms and thought to herself, this is where I'd like to stay for a while.

* * *

Later Angela and Bella sat in the Swan living room, watching Romeo and Juliet for the second time that night.

"So, how was it?"

"How was what?"

"Hanging with Becca?"

"It was…fine," Angela said before smiling shyly. Bella caught it right away and nudged her teasingly.

"Just fine?"

"Mhm."

" _Aaaalright_. If you say soooo." Bella said in reply before they got lost in the movie again. Well, before Angela did. Bella's was filled with different plans on how she could get Becca and Angela together.

My best friend is going to get a girlfriend. Wow, they're going to call me freakin cupid after this.

* * *

Who would have thought that in the back of his mother's closet would be the information he'd been craving since he was five-years-old, and bullies made fun of him for not having a father.

Father….Charles Swan. Charlie, his mother had written lovingly in her journal. Charlie Swan, his dad.

There was a picture in her journal too and when he saw his eyes, he couldn't help but sob.

 _My eyes._

 _I had found him, finally. Now, I had to talk to him._

"Riley? Honey, I'm back." Victoria called as she returned from picking up his favorite Chinese takeout. Her arms were filled to the brim with food and her hair was tied in a lazy bun.

Riley didn't answer, eyes zoned in on the name. Charlie Swan.

 _Fuck._

"What are you doing?" She whispered darkly, and he turned around before putting a hand on his chest.

"Tori, you scared me!" He laughed but her face grew weirdly serious as she glanced at his birth certificate. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Where did you get that?"

"I just found it. Charlie Swan is my father. My father! I've finally found him."

"I knew I should have hidden it when I had the chance." Riley's heart started to pound as her dead eyes stared down at him, blank and empty.

"W-what? Tori, what are you talking about?" Her mouth pulled back into a snarl and all at once she pounced. A crash, a scuffle.

Riley screamed.

"Tori! What are you doing! TORI!" Blood splattered onto the wall beside them.

Riley became deathly silent.

* * *

"Get back here, you little bitch!" Bree Tanner's father screamed as she shot out the door, blood dripping down her temple. She had had enough. Her mother was gone, and she had just been kicked out of school. She had nothing to lose anymore.

Bree would make a life for herself away from her mean father and be _happy_.

 _All she wanted to be was happy._

As she ran into the line of trees, she caught the eye of ruby irises.

Victoria disappeared into the shadows as she stalked her prey.


	21. Chapter Twenty: It's a Boy!

**WARNING:** **GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, MENTAL ILLNESS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, VIOLENCE, GORE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, UNDERAGE SEXUAL SITUATIONS, ABUSE, STALKING, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty.

* * *

 _Third person POV:_

Riley hadn't eaten or slept in days. His body was dirty, and his stomach ached, but still, he ran. He had to get to Forks, to Charles and Isabella Swan. His father and sister.

A large gash that covered his side had finally stopped bleeding days ago, but he still felt woozy and dizzy.

In the blink of an eye, his whole life had changed. And the love his life had tried to kill him. Make him like her. A _monster_.

 _He awoke with a start hours later, head aching and side burning. When he touched it he sucked in a breath at the wet feeling. Bringing it up to the light, Riley saw that it was red._

 _How long had he been out? How long had he been bleeding?_

 _Victoria's low voice filtered through the air._

" _You attacked him? What the hell, Victoria! He was the key move in all of this!" Heidi thundered, Victoria's sister, thundered through the phone._

" _I panicked! He found out the truth before I could tell him."_

" _Tell him what?"_

" _About his sister Bella and how he needs to help me kill her for what her boyfriend did to my James!" Her voice broke and Heidi sighed at her as if this was a normal occurrence._

" _No excuses. You fucking fix this before I fix you."_

 _Victoria snapped her phone in half before starting back for the closet. Riley panicked._

 _Grabbing the first thing he could grab, Riley shot up and ran full force out of the closet and hit Victoria with it. Or more like cut her head off._

 _Why the hell did his mom have a katana?_

 _Shaking his head, body trembling, he didn't waste any more time before running from the house and towards Forks, WA. His mother's hometown._

 _To Charles Swan._

 _As he disappeared into the woods, Victoria's head slowly moved towards her neck._

But she had cried to him at night when they were alone whispering to each other and had quivered when she came all over him when they made love. Riley's heart ached worse than anything. He felt heartbroken and like falling apart. But not until he made it to safety.

The Forks welcome sign was just in his sights when she appeared in front of him.

Victoria grinned wickedly, skin shimmering and red eyes glinting like poinsettias. Both were poison but drew him in like moths to a flame.

She had recently fed and looked like a murder scene. But even with blood dripping down her lips, he wanted to fall into her embrace and kiss her hard on the mouth.

But Riley's self-preservation kept him in place, fists clenched and breath haggard.

Her tinkling laugh shot knives through his heart but instead of crying he locked his jaw and glared. That only made her laugh harder.

"Oh, this is too good! Look at you, trying to look threatening! You know I've seen you in your Fairly Odd Parent's boxers, right?" His cheeks flushed pink in surprise.

"Hey, those are awesome, and you know it!"

"Cute, as always. Now, are you going to come back to me?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Riley, baby, I need you..."

In exasperation, he snapped, "You don't need me at all."

She was kissing his neck in a way that had him growing rock hard in his jeans. As she smeared the blood all over his skin he couldn't help but enjoy it.

"Of course, I do. Why wouldn't I?"

"I'll never be James, Victoria. You just want your revenge, right? On my baby sister." She froze but he continued. "But I'll never be that for you. So just kill me."

For a moment he thought she would reconsider and kiss him and go back to normal. They could pretend again, right? At least for a little while. The brown contacts were convincing enough and the sunscreen she wore covered the sparkling. They could be happy again, finally-

But her gaze turned devilish, and she smirked before replying, "Okay."

"W-what?"

"I said 'Okay'. Didn't your mortal ears hear me? I thought I was talking loud enough."

"But I thought you loved me- I thought you would-"

"I would what, change my mind? Have happily ever after with you?" When he just stared at her she chuckled. "Oh, baby. You're so stupid."

"No, I'm not."

"You fell right into my trap, it was only luck that you found your birth certificate."

"Tori, please, let's talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about, Riley."

"I love you," He was crying now. Riley couldn't understand how she flipped a switch like that. His ached with the whiplash.

"But I don't love you," Victoria grabbed his throat tightly and squeezed, a wide grin enveloping his face. He struggled, grabbing at her hand. "Poor, Riley. So unwanted. Your mother will probably be happy to not have to pay for your tuition anymore."

"S-stop," He rasped out. She knew about his guilt for not being able to pay for his school. How his stepfather always made him feel like a fucking burden. All the time.

"No one will care when you're gone. Not your parents, not your siblings, and not me," She cackled and black spots started to fill his vision. "You were just a pawn in my game. Easy to trap. You were so needy and easy. Like a common whore." Just as he was starting to pass out, she let go, dropping him to the forest floor. He gasped and coughed, his head pounding.

She was on top of him faster than lightning, mouth hovering over his throat.

He felt sick and wished she would just get it over with. But she just sat there.

"You're nothing. You'll rot here, and no one will find you. You'll be forgotten," She kissed his throat and he gasped. "You're nothing."

He felt her teeth on his throat and closed his eyes, ready to die.

Finally.

How many times had he actually dreamed of dying? So many times and then things got better for him. He went off to college and was free. And then he found her and she was beautiful and spicy.

And now it would all disappear. Like morning dew when the sun came out.

But then she was ripped off of him and loud snarls erupted all around him. The world came back full force and he trembled. A large man hunched over him.

"Are you okay?" Sam Uley's dark eyes peered down worriedly at the injured human. Why had he been talking to the redhead so calmly? Was he like Bella Swan? Had she dazzled him too?

"Take me to Charles and Bella Swan. Take me to them, please!"

Sam's eyes widened to the size of bowling balls before he croaked out, "You know Charlie and Bella?"

"Please, take me to them! I need to warn them!" He scrambled to grab at Sam's leg. Sam jumped in surprise, his body tensed in alarm. When Riley's arms were wrapped tightly around the warm appendage he felt exhaustion enter his bones. As his vision started to go fuzzy, he screeched, "PLEASE!"

"Okay, okay! We'll take you to them."

With his mission complete, Riley passed out. Sam scooped the college student into his arms before nodding to Paul and Jared, who were seething from losing the redhead again.

* * *

As they entered La Push, Victoria stalked another prey.

Bree fell asleep in a cardboard box, shivering as rain poured down.

"I have great news," She exclaimed into the phone to Heidi, who clucked her tongue and sipped from her wine glass, the blood falling down her throat like a comforting friend.

"You found the boy?"

"No, much better…"

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

When I woke up that morning in Embry's arms, everything seemed perfectly normal. We had breakfast at the diner and then did some grocery shopping. But when we returned and put the groceries away, Rachel barged into the house with crazed eyes.

"Bella, you need to come to La Push, now."

"What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Something insane just happened."

"What insane thing happened?" Bella asked but Embry shushed her.

"Let's go before Rachel explodes, okay? She can explain on the way." Embry turned to her and asked, "Did you run here or drive?"

"I drove. I knew Bella would most likely get nauseous riding on your back."

"Good thinking, alpha."

When they slipped into the back of her car, Bella raises a brow at him. "Alpha?"

"Rachel's taken the mantle. After accepting the imprint, she took charge almost instantly."

"I bet Sam feels relieved."

"You have no idea."

The ride to La Push felt long and unsettling. My stomach became nauseous due to my nerves and only when Embry started singing softly in my ear did I start to snap out of it.

 _"…Baby, way before then, and we're still together. And I meant every word I said. When I said that I loved you I meant that I loved you forever..."_ I let his voice lull me into a sense of calm for the rest of the ride, clasping our hands together to feel his warmth.

* * *

The air felt tense as I stepped into the Lahote home. Embry put a small hand on my back as he led me through the doorway and then wrapped an arm around my waist.

A man lay curled in a ball on the couch, looking pale and sick. From the smell of him, I could tell he hadn't showered in days. When I stepped closer to him his eyes snapped open and I was hit with the sight of his eyes.

Just like Charlie's. Just like _mine_.

"B-Bella Swan?"

"Yes," I whispered meekly back.

 _What the heck was going on?_

The man shot out and grabbed my arm with a tight grip before tears started to roll down his cheeks.

"I'm your half-brother."

"That can't be possible…" I tried to pull away, but he gripped harder. Embry started to step forward, but I shook my head at him.

 _He isn't going to hurt me_ , I thought, _he's just scared_.

"I found my birth certificate… It said Charles Swan. H-he's your father, right?" I nodded. "My mother hid it from me. Had to deal with a shitty step-dad. And then I found _her_."

"Her?"

"Victoria. She said she was a student at the college I went to. We dated for a bit until I found my birth certificate. And then she-she- fuck, I'm sorry," He sobbed as he let my arm go before wrapping his arms around himself. It was a stark reminder of how I was with Edward. Sitting on the edge of the couch I started to rub his back.

"Did she hurt you?"

"Yes."

"Sue came over and stitched him up. But that redhead bitch said a lot of bullshit." Jared exclaimed harshly, eyes hard and teeth clenched.

"What did she say?"

"Th-that I was nothing b-but a whore," He cried again, and my eyes filled with tears. "That no one would care if I was gone."

"I would," The words came out of nowhere, but I knew I meant them. He was my brother. And I would be by his side through this traumatizing time.

"You would?"

"Yes, you are my brother."

"I'm so glad I've found you," The boy wrapped his arms around my waist and cried heavily into my shirt. Tears filled my own, but I quickly wiped them away. "So glad, so glad, so glad."

"I don't mean to interrupt, but we need to know who you are," Sam said carefully, and everyone hummed in agreement.

I moved the hair out of Riley's eyes before asking, "What is your name?"

"Riley Biers. I-I'm a sophomore in college. I share an apartment with a few of my friends in Seattle," Riley's face suddenly looked fearful. "Oh shit, they're probably wondering where I am. And my mom! Oh shit, she probably saw the blood and called the cops."

"You should call her and let her know you're okay."

"But how do I explain…"

"Distract her. Ask her about Charlie." Paul exclaimed, "Speaking of Charlie, we should probably get him over here."

"Already ahead of you, baby," Rachel said with authority. "Dad's already contacted him and he's on his way."

"Oh no, oh no, oh no," Riley cried again before burying his face back into my stomach.

"What's wrong?"

"He's going to be so disappointed. I'm crying all over my little sister like a bitch. I'm barely a man," My jaw tightened, and I pulled Riley away from me before putting my hands on either side of his face.

"He is going to be so proud of you for coming here. You've survived a bloodthirsty vampire, okay? You survived. You're allowed to cry and be upset, Riley. You deserve it."

"But boys shouldn't cry…"

"Everyone should cry. It's natural. Why would we be able to cry if we weren't supposed to?" Slowly he pulled away and cuddled back into my stomach.

"Thank you, Bella," He whispered. Even though it was muffled I could hear it. I rubbed his back slowly, humming off-key.

"Baby, Paul and I are going to head to the grocery store. I assume we'll be here for a while and Paul's got jack shit. Do you want anything specific?" Embry asked curiously.

"Riley, do you have any food allergies?" Riley shook his head. "No, I don't want anything specific."

"Okay, we'll be back." Embry leans down and kisses me softly on the mouth before pulling away. "I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart," He beamed before turned and following Paul out of the house. Rachel, Sam, and Jared sat posted at the kitchen table, talking quietly. Riley's crying had turned to sniffles.

My heart ached for him. He's been on the run for days. No food, no water, no bathing. Just utter fear of the inevitable.

I shivered as James assault filled my head. I had been there before. And what he needed was as much normality as possible.

"Bubby, why don't we get you into the shower? I'm sure one of the guys will help you," Riley raised his head to stare up at me with wide eyes.

"I don't want to leave you."

"I'll be in the kitchen, okay? All you have to do is call for me and I'll be there."

"I-I don't know…"

"You've been running for days, honey. Just trust your little sister, okay?"

"A-alright. I'll do it for you," Slowly, he unwrapped his arms from my waist and sat up. I gave him a bright smile.

"Can one of you boys help him shower? I don't trust him on his feet that long."

"I'll volunteer," Jared answered with a small smile. "Come on, cutie. Let's get you cleaned up," He teased Riley before pulling him into Paul's bathroom.

"He can borrow some of Pauly's clothes," Rachel exclaimed with a wave of her hand.

"You sure he won't mind?"

"Not if he wants to have a problem with me." She said with a smirk and I laughed.

"Thank you for coming to get me, Rach."

"Anything for you, Belly. Do you any help cooking?"

"No, I've got it. Just sit and do your alpha thing."

Cooking helped distract me from the worthlessness I was feeling. An older damaged brother now depended on me. How was I of all people supposed to help him? A usual day was like a rollercoaster of emotions; one moment I was laughing and having a good time but the next I felt the urge to cut, cut, cut.

I would probably always have that urge, but at least I had family and friends to lean back on. And Riley deserved that too.

As I grilled chicken I felt more anxiety fill my belly. Charlie would learn the secret. I knew him, he would be angry. And I'd deserve it.

Would he cast me out for being a liar? I had given him so much grief already. The self-harm, the suicide attempts, the therapy bills. Embry moving in. This would just be the cherry on top of this messed up life I led.

When the meal of mashed potatoes, chicken, and asparagus, Paul was surprisingly addicted to vegetables, was finished I served everyone before excusing myself to Paul's now empty bathroom. Riley sat beside Jared at the table, sipping from a glass of water and looking much cleaner and more relaxed. Knowing he was okay let me take a time to be by myself.

"What have you gotten yourself into, Bella?" I felt a headache coming on as I rubbed my temples gingerly. "If you had stayed with mom and Phil this wouldn't have happened. Everyone would be fine and dandy without you. James would be alive, and Victoria wouldn't be hurting everyone you love. You horrible, horrible person."

"Don't take about yourself like that," I jumped as Embry knelt in front of me, taking my tiny hands in his. He had a look of anger and determination on his face, similar to when he had found me on the cliff that day.

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Bella. I know you're emotionally drained right now. We all are. But you can't put yourself down like that."

"It's true, though." He kissed my forehead but didn't answer. "Isn't it?"

"Baby-"

"Isn't it!" I slapped his hands away and covered my face with my hands before screaming. "Because of me, everyone is in danger. Everyone could die. What the fuck!"

"How is this any of your fault! All you did was fall for a boy. That's it! You didn't cause us to phase, you didn't ask to stalked and beaten by some psycho, and you for sure didn't ask for any of this bullshit," I started to cry, gasping for breath that I couldn't seem to get. "Bella, if you hadn't taken me out of that house I don't know where I'd be. You've changed my life for the better. For better or for worse, you've been there for me. Do you want to take that back? Do you wish I was still living with _her_?" Embry looked at me with a broken expression, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes.

"No! Never," I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close to me, rubbing the back of his head. He cried into my shoulder and I felt disgusted with my behavior. "Never, baby. Never."

We stayed that way for a while until our tears dried up. When he pulled away he looked a bit embarrassed, smiling nervously.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying."

He wiped his eyes. I kissed his nose and then his lips.

"It's okay. I'm sorry I hurt you."

Embry cupped my cheeks kissed my nose and then my lips.

"I understand why you feel like this is your fault. I get it. But please, don't ever think that you not being here is better."

"I won't anymore," He hugged me again before pulling away and standing up.

"Come on, I think Charlie's here." When he saw my hesitance, he asked, "You don't have to go out there. We can stay in here, okay? Whatever you want."

"I need to be out there."

"Okay," He kissed my lips again. "Let's go."

* * *

 _Third person POV:_

Victoria wore a brown turtleneck sweater and a beige pencil skirt, curly, unruly hair pulled into a bun atop her head.

Bree glanced up at her with wide, frightened eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you, sweetheart," Victoria internally sighed as Bree continued to back away. "I'm a school teacher."

"A-a teacher?"

"Yes. I can help you," Victoria pulled out a wrapped sandwich from the gas station. "Are you hungry?" Bree nodded eagerly but held herself back.

 _Trap, this is a trap_ , a voice whispered in her head.

"Come home with me. I'll feed you and keep you safe."

"Safe?"

"Yes, safe."

Seconds later Bree ripped the sandwich from Victoria's hands before unwrapping it and shoving it in her mouth.

Victoria grinned wildly. Her plan was coming together. Just a little longer and Bella Swan would be ashes. Nothing would stop her now. She was sure of it!

* * *

 _Charlie's POV:_

Vampires, werewolves. What was next, leprechauns? But it was all real.

Damn, and there were so many signs! The legends, the Uley boy going missing, Jacob's fever-like temperature at all times.

Sipping from my can of beer, I felt my tense body start to relax. Riley, my _son_ , sat beside me looking as tense as I was. My _son_ , can you believe that? I half-expected an _'It's A Boy!'_ banner to spring up.

My life was turning into a damn television sitcom.

Breaking the awkward silence, I asked Riley, "So, what do you play?"

"Football."

"What's your position?"

"Quarterback."

"That's my boy!" I patted his knee and gave him a smile, which he returned.

 _This wouldn't be so bad_ , I thought. Vampires and werewolves, piece of cake. We could take the redhead leech everyone's been talking about.

I looked around at the people in the room: Billy chatting idly with his son, Rachel and Bella cackling about some joke, Embry looking at my daughter like she lit the sun with her smile.

Yeah, we'd be okay. Good prevails over evil and all that jazz. With the love in this room, I know we wouldn't lose. It was science, plain and simple.


	22. Not Update, AN Message

Hello, lovely readers. It's been a while since I've updated this story and I've decided to talk to you about why.

My laptop stopped working and I lost a ton of important files, including a lot for Drifting Away and Charlie's Christmas. Both stories were basically planned all the way through, and now I have to start over and it will take some time.

But I'm not done with any of these stories. I will finish them all. I just need some time and I hope you stay until I update again.

I apologize for not updating, but life happens sometimes. I'll update as soon as I am able. Thank you!


	23. Chapter Twenty-One: Love Takes Time

_**A/N:** Finally, I'm updating this story. I'm so sorry it has taken this long, but please know I'm never giving up on these stories. I will finish them one day. Life has hit me with a lot of things, but I'm still chugging along. I hope you all enjoy this, my lovely readers, and please review and tell me what you think. Happy reading!_

 _I also changed Riley Winters name to Jayden Winters and changed her characterization a bit. I haven't updated it fully throughout the chapters on here, but I have on AO3 if you want to check it out there. It's small here and there throughout the chapters, but I hope you enjoy what I've done with her._

* * *

 **WARNING:** **GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, MENTAL ILLNESS, PANIC ATTACKS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, VIOLENCE, GORE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, GRAPHIC LANGUAGE, UNDERAGE SEXUAL SITUATIONS, ABUSE, STALKING, MANIPULATION, AGE GAP, AND TRIGGERING IMAGERY. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THIS OR DO NOT ENJOY IT, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-One.

* * *

 _Embry's POV:_

We arrived home around nightfall, and thankfully I was given permission to skip patrols and help Riley settle in. Easily, I lifted the boy into my arms and carried him into Charlie's room and tucked him into bed. Charlie followed quickly behind me, patting me on the shoulder.

"You can sleep in Bella's room from now on." As my eyes widened at his statement, he quickly sputtered out, "But only because of the bloodthirsty vampire on the loose! Bella needs to be safe, and I know that you can protect her now."

I nod, licking my lips nervously. "I'll protect her with my life, Chief." He pats my shoulder again before nodding towards the door.

"Go on and get some sleep. I'm sure you both need it."

Bella is waiting for me, dressed in a pair of my black sweatpants and one of her mother's old band tees. She glances up at me with her big brown eyes, curly hair fanning around her face. Bella nibbles on her bottom lip before making grabby hands at me.

Fuck, I love her. I love her so much.

Quickly, I strip out of my clothes and pull on another pair of black sweatpants before crawling into bed and laying on top of her. I make sure to keep my weight off of her as she wraps her arms around me, fingers pressing into the skin of my back.

"I love you, Embry," she whispers small and quiet, her breath smelling like toothpaste. She presses her lips to mine and I melt at the contact, letting her tongue slip into my mouth. Bella gasps as I nibble at her bottom lip, tangle a hand into her hair and hold her close. She pulls away to breathe, kissing down my jaw. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

"And I love you, baby. More than you know."

After some more lazy kissing, we break apart and I roll behind her. With my arms wrapped tightly around her, she's out like a light. I snuggle into her, trying to relax even as the day's events play in my head like a loop.

Bella has an older brother. And Victoria had found out and gone after him. What was next? Bella's mother and step-father? Who was truly safe from that witch?

My breath feels tight in my throat as Sam's memories of Riley flood my brain, how scared and broken he looked. How similar it had been to Bella months ago, even worse.

What if that had been Bella? What if she had been in Riley's place, beaten almost to death? Even killed?

A lump lodged itself into my throat and I blink away tears.

No, fuck, I couldn't think like that. Not when she's here in my arms. Warm and safe and in love with me like I had always dreamed of.

I tried to settle down again, hugged her tightly before trying to fall asleep.

But the thoughts persisted.

A half an hour later I found myself in the kitchen, hands covered in dough and breaths shaky. It was quiet aside from the other inhabitants breathing and the house felt almost suffocating.

Without realizing I had already poured the batter into the cupcake pans and shoved two inside. I scrubbed my gunky hands, had the urge to throw up but swallowed it down.

What was wrong with me? Why was this affecting me so much? I had been through shit before, I always pulled through. From a deadbeat father, to an abusive mother, and then the wolf pack and Bella and-

I gasped as my throat started to tighten up, hand grabbing uselessly at my chest.

 _Fuck, fuck. No, not right now. No, let me be, let me be._

Trembling, I shoved my hands into my hair and pulled. Squeezed my eyes shut, tried to will away the dreadful feeling that had taken hold of my body.

 _I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe-_

"Embry?" a soft voice asked, and I felt a hand touch my shoulder.

Jolting away, I stared up at the intruder with teary eyes. Bella's wide ones stared back at me, mouth moving but no sound coming out.

 _No, she can't see me like this. I'm supposed to protect her, support her. What will she think of me now, panicking in her kitchen like a bitch-_

"…Honey, can you hear me?" Bella asked quietly, keeping her hands at her sides. Slowly, I nodded. Sobbed openly as the crushing weight covered my chest.

 _So stupid, so pathetic, you deserve every bad thing that happens to you-_

"Baby, everything's going to be okay. You're having a panic attack," I nodded again, tugging at my hair. My scalp ached, but I couldn't stop. "Let's breathe together, okay? One big breath in and hold it," Bella gulped down a breath of air and I followed suit, holding it in my chest until I thought I might burst. She let it out slowly and said, "And let it out. Then repeat."

When my breathing had finally calmed down, the panic started to recede. I couldn't help myself as I lean into her, sniffling as she wraps her little arms around me.

So little. Everything on her was little. Except her heart.

"I'm sorry, baby."

"Sorry about what?"

"Having a stupid panic attack. I'm supposed to protect you and I- and I-" Bella cut my words off with a soft kiss. When she pulled away, her gaze was hard.

"Don't invalidate yourself. You've been through so much, let yourself feel for once instead of putting others needs before yours."

I shake my head, the walls already closing in again. "You don't get it, you don't get it, you don't get it-" my words cut off as Bella pulls my face up to hers and looks at me intently.

"What don't I get? What is it, honey?"

"It- it's-" the words feel uncomfortable in my mouth, like my tongue has swollen three sizes. "My feelings, they just…"

"Your feelings what?" I turn away, blink a few times and try to calm my pounding heartbeat again. "Baby, it's okay. It's going to be okay."

I shake my head again and cover my face. "It's scary. It's too much."

"Your feelings are too much and it scares you?" Bella asks, her soft touch coaxing my hands from my face. I let her pull them away and slowly nod. "It's going to be a lot because you've been holding them in for so long. It's like a dam, you know? When it breaks, everything is damaged in its path."

 _I'm a broken dam. I'm going to damage everything. All I do is wreck everything in my path-_

"Embry, baby, it's okay. Let yourself feel and I'll help fix the brokenness in you just like you did for me." She pulls my head to her chest, runs a hand through my hair. "That's what love is, okay? And I love you. So much."

We stay like that until the timer goes off. Bella turns off the oven and takes out the cupcakes. While they're cooling, she makes me a cup of tea and sits me at the table before kissing my head and leaving me to clean up the kitchen. She washes the dirty dishes, puts away the remaining batter, and ices the cupcakes.

I finish my tea by the time she covers the cupcakes up, and she takes the cup from me and washes that too. I let Bella lead me upstairs, belly warm and body exhausted.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," Bella whispers as I lose consciousness, body wrapped around me. My dreams are happy and light.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

While perusing the apricots I saw her. With medium-length raven hair and high cheekbones, Leah stood on the other side bagging up some cucumbers. She wore a black tank top and a pair of gray sweatpants, paired with sandals I had seen her father wear before.

Just by looking at her my self-esteem took a hit.

I took in a shaky breath, starting to turn the cart to get out of the awkward situation that might unfold. But then she looked up.

And at me.

Almost immediately she waved me over, an easy smile appearing on her lips.

Hesitantly, I pushed the cart over to her and leaned against it, waiting for her to say something before I jumped out of my skin.

"Hi, Bella."

"Leah," I nodded, taking a breath to calm my nerves. "Fancy meeting you here." I tried to keep my voice light and hopeful, but you couldn't dismiss the bite in my tone. For a moment her eyes widened and she looked taken aback, _good_ , but it was gone as quick as it had come and she was still looking at me with that stupid, pretty smile of hers.

Running a hand through her hair, _how did she make it look so shiny_ , Leah asked, "Can we go somewhere and talk? After we finish shopping, of course."

I wanted to say no. Heck, I should have. But stupid me decided to just blurt out, "Sounds good. I'll meet you outside."

So, after putting it off for as long as I could, I finally check out and head to my truck to load it up with groceries. It's a cloudy day without a chance of rain, so I put it in the truck bed. When I look up, Leah's already beside me, nodding to her car that she's parked next to mine.

I narrow my eyes. "Did you know I was here?"

"Yes, I did."

"Why would you corner me like that? Don't you have somewhere better to be? Say, with your _boyfriend_?" My stomach felt sick and I scowled at the ground. "You know what, I don't need this. Jacob and I are cool now, and I don't even know you, so. Let's just keep is civil for him."

I turn to leave, intent on going home and spending time with my big brother and forgetting that this ever happened. But she grabbed my wrist and spun me back around. My back hit the truck door, and her arms locked me in. Her eyes were wild and crazed, and her mouth was open as she took panting breaths.

 _Why is she so pretty? I can see why Jacob loves her._

"Please, just give me an hour. Please," Leah exclaims, eyes filling with tears.

Shaking my head out of my daze, I say, "Okay. Okay, fine. Follow me to Charlie's so I can put my stuff away and then we can head to yours and talk."

Leah's face broke out into a grateful smile. Her arms wrapped tightly around me and she shook me back and forth like a ragdoll.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" When she pulled away, I was momentarily stunned by her beauty again.

"N-no problem."

After that, we quickly said our goodbyes and I slid into the truck. I wiped a hand over my face, taking a deep breath before blowing it out.

 _Yeah, I can see why Jacob loves her so much._

* * *

"Okay, let's hear it. What was so urgent?" I ask, sipping from a glass of sweet tea she had given me. We sat in her living room, sitting on the end of either side of the couch.

"I wanted to apologize for dating Jacob before things were officially over between you two. And for how Jacob handled everything between you and Embry." She paused to make sure I'm listening and I nod. "Before I phased, I had been engaged to Sam Uley. We dated all through high school and then for two weeks he went missing. Things changed between us after that. The final straw was my cousin Emily coming to visit."

"Sam imprinted on Emily and left you."

"I wasn't in on the secret then, so I had lost my boyfriend and my best friend. And then my dad started to get sick," She paused to take a shaky breath, eyes watering. "When I phased, Jacob was there. He was sort of like my knight in shining armor, I guess. He helped me with everything and since we had the dual imprint, it was even stronger than normal."

It was hard to hear how it had happened. How Jacob had fallen so madly in love with this girl who I barely knew. But you could plainly see it in her face how much she loved and cared for him, and how badly she felt about hurting me.

"But Jacob still loved you, you know? And I still loved Sam and Sam still loved me. It didn't go away like a puff of smoke like the legends say. And then we started fighting all the time because he wouldn't leave you alone. And then Seth beat the shit out of him and I sent him away."

"You aren't obligated to forgive him. What he said to you was out of line," I say and she nods, giving me a grateful smile. "But I can tell that you love him and want to stay with him and work this out. So, why haven't you talked to him?"

Leah wiped her eyes and shook her head. "I'm scared of it going back to how it was. We got together way too fast and barely knew each other. We grew up together, yeah, but we ran in different social circles. And he's going to be a junior while I've been graduated a year already. That's a huge age gap and if we weren't werewolves, Billy would definitely call Chris Hansen."

"Thank god for being werewolves then." I sit down my empty glass and lean back on the armrest. "Leah, I'm going to be frank with you. If you want to be with him, then you need to be with him. I understand your fears, but Jacob isn't leaving and you were chosen as soulmates. You can most likely work out any problems you face together, despite the age difference."

"You think so?"

"Yes, I do. Relationships are about communication, honesty, compromise, and understanding. You were with Sam for a long time and you made it work. You have to tools to make it work with Jacob too."

Leah was silent for a while, musing over my words. I felt the tension slowly leaving my body as we sat there in comfortable silence, the air conditioner in the background kicking on and off.

When she finally spoke again, she said, "Thank you, Bella." My eyes widened in response.

"For what?"

"For talking to me about this," she says, drumming her fingers on the back of the couch. "I don't have close friends that I can act like this with you know? It's nice."

"Well, if you ever need someone to talk to again, I'm here." For the first time, I smile at her without any malice. She returns it quickly, and I feel warm all over.

* * *

It's when I'm driving home that night that it hits me.

 _I'm happy._

It's such a weird, insignificant thing to think. I'm happy. Most people are happy, haven't felt the crippling depression that can force our minds to think horrible things and force our hands to cut, burn, harm. Most people are content with themselves, love themselves even.

It felt good to be in the majority for a change.

Turning into the driveway of my home, I unbuckled my seatbelt and sat there for a second longer, reveling in this feeling of happiness that radiated around me.

 _More good times are coming_ , I thought to myself as the front door opened as I stepped onto the porch. Embry's arms wrapped tightly around me. _I can't await to be apart of them._

* * *

 _Riley's POV:_

Tossing and turning in bed, I sigh as I give up on getting any sleep tonight. Every time I close my eyes I see Tori's wild eyes, feel the horrible pain as she attacked me. It was enough to keep up anyone at night.

Finally, my bladder makes itself known and I pull myself up before heading to the bathroom. Dad snores from where he lays in bed, unbeknownst to my turmoil. I was thankful for that, he had enough stress dealing with everything else.

As I finish up in the bathroom, I wash my hands and splash my face with water to wake myself up. Then I headed downstairs and make myself a cup of tea like mom had taught me.

 _I wonder if she's okay with this_ , I think as I sip from my mug, hands jittery. _She kept dad from me for so long and now I suddenly know the truth and want to take a break from school to stay with him? It sounded off even to me, and I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed._

"Son, is that you?" Dad's voice broke me out of my thoughts and I jumped, widened eyes looking around me until he came into view. He wore a ratty flannel robe paired with matching pajama pants and a black t-shirt, and old teal slippers similar to moms.

They probably got them at the same time, I thought to myself grimly. "Y-yeah, it's me, dad."

"I thought that was you. Bella sleeps like the dead nowadays," he pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down next to me, running a hand over his exhausted face. "How are you feeling?"

"Overwhelmed, mostly. I didn't expect you all to be so welcoming."

"Family is family, kiddo. You're stuck with us whether you like it or not." Like his words were magic, my shoulders relaxed. Tears fell down my cheeks and without warning I sobbed openly. In seconds, I was wrapped in my father's arms, instead of being berated for being a sissy. "Let it out, son. Let it out."

 _I hope I never have to leave this place_ , I think to myself as I cry and cry into the arms of my father. _I can't imagine going back to a place I never called home_.

* * *

 _Bella's POV:_

The bonfire warmed my wind chilled body as I ate my hotdog, enjoying the way the food settled into my stomach. Leah gives me a soft smile from across the fire before sneering at Jacob, who's shoved straws into his nose to act like a walrus. Laughing at the sight, I swallow the rest of my food and gratefully take the cup of soda from Embry as he sits down beside me. I guzzle it down in seconds, grinning up at him cheekily as he gives me a mock shocked look.

"What's got you so hyper, baby?" He asks and I nod towards duo across, where Jacob is now attempting to show Leah how to juggle but ended up tossing a stone and hitting Jared in the back. As Embry's attention turns towards them, Kim waltzes up to Jacob and swats him in the back of the head.

"He's trying so hard to get back in his good graces."

Embry hums in reply and pulls me close, nuzzling his face into my head. "Rightfully so. He fucked up." Pulling away from him, I kiss his cheek.

"Have you tried talking to him?"

"I haven't."

"Why not?"

Shrugging, he says, "I'm not ready to forgive him, I guess? What he did was horrible and I'm not ready to forgive and forget."

"I hope you know I'm not forgetting. What happened was horrible but it wasn't just his fault, I hope you know. There are a lot of factors at play."

"That may be, but that doesn't mean I have to talk to him right now. In my own time, I will, but right now I don't have the energy to worry about anyone that doesn't respect me or my decisions," he kisses my temple before adding, "or my girlfriend."

 _Girlfriend_ , the word warms me from the inside out. I turn my head and kiss his lips, pulling away with a smile. "I love you."

"I love you more, gorgeous."

Quil fake gags from his seat, bouncing Claire and Sully on his knees. "You guys make me sick."

"Like you don't act this cute with Jessica, loser."

"We're best friends, it's different! And besides, we're much, much cuter," Quil states and Embry and I share a look that says, _he's already head over heels_.

The rest of the group settles down around the large bonfire, Angela sitting down next to me and Jayden taking her place on the other side of her. I had invited Riley, but he chose to stay home and spend time with dad. Since Billy wasn't going to be telling us the legends tonight, outsiders were allowed to the pack event. Which meant my friends could come, even if they weren't in on the wolf secret.

But it was starting to dawn on me that maybe that wasn't a good idea.

As Seth sat down in a lawn chair, he picked up the guitar beside the chair and started to strum. His hair was flowing freely, for once out of his man-bun, and his smile sparkles fiercely.

"Any requests, guys?"

Collin's voice boomed, "Carry On Wayward Son!"

"No, Barracuda!" Brady challenged from beside him, his brow furrowing. The two tweens glared back at each other, almost snarling. Sam placed a hand on both of their shoulders and whispered into their ears, and their faces slowly relaxed.

Seth chuckled awkwardly, trying to fix the silence. "How about I play them both? Then we can take some other requests." We started to hoot and holler as the first cords of Kansas filtered through the air, and a few couples started to get up and dance.

"Do you want to dance?" Embry asked, nudging my arm with a questioning look in his eyes.

"Not really right now. I promise to dance with you tonight, though."

Embry grinned and kissed my cheek. "I'll be holding you to that, baby."

An hour passed as everyone mingled and ate their weight in grilled foods. Finally, Rachel and Paul entered the scene, late as hell but wearing satisfied grins on their faces. Paul pulled Embry to the group of people dancing as Seth started to play Don't Go Breaking My Heart, and Rachel slipped easily into his abandoned seat. Jayden sat on my other side, playing Pokemon on her purple Gameboy.

"Hey, darling. How are you feeling?" Rachel asked, flipping back her wavy styled hair and grinning her pearly whites at me. Without meaning to, my cheeks dusted pink and it took a second for me to grasp my bearings.

"I-I'm good. I had a hotdog, so that's great."

Bursting into a fit of laughter, Rachel exclaimed, "I might just have to have one myself. Or five. This growth spurt has kicked my damn ass and I can barely keep food in the house." As Jayden rocks back and forth beside me, Rachel notices her presence. "Jay Jay, baby! How are you?"

"Hey, Rachel. I'm great! How are you?" Jayden exclaimed with a grin, setting her Gameboy on her lap and flapping her hands. She looked up, catching her eyes for a second before looking off in the distance at nothing. But that was enough for the impossible to happen.

Like she was burned, Rachel shot off the log and started to shake, eyes widening as she glanced down at Jayden, who cracked her fingers and flapped her hands again.

"Oh shit, oh my god- what just- this can't be-" I couldn't move fast enough as I grabbed Jayden's arm and pulled her off the log with me, dragging her far, far away from Rachel. But Rachel's eyes blazed at my actions, teeth-baring. "No, get back here! Where are you taking her? She's MINE!"

The rest of the pack fell to their knees as her command thundered. With clenched teeth, Paul got to his feet and ran towards his imprint, knocking into her full force and sending them both tumbling into the ground.

Still gripping Jayden's arm, I felt the beginning of a panic attack started. Oblivious to the situation, Jayden yanked herself away from me, shaking her head and flapping her hands. She stared down at her shoes, at the broken Gameboy. "Oh no, oh no, oh no."

"Jayden, I'm so sorry-" I tried to apologize, but she kept repeating as she yanked at her earlobes and started to rock. What do I do? Where's Angela? She always knew how to calm Jayden down, to make sure she was happy and enjoying what our friend group did together.

Jayden started to whimper and I felt at a loss, trying to come up with a way to calm my friend down but coming up empty.

Angela's voice filtered through the air as she appeared next to us, "Jay Jay, how about we go get the gameboy fixed? Brady knows how to fix it." Pulling a gray winter beanie from her pocket, she handed it to Jayden who shoved her face into the fabric, inhaling the scent of it. Bending down to pick up the broken gameboy, Angela shoved it back into her pocket and leaned her arm out for Jayden to grab. "I bet this smoke smell is bothering you, huh? Let's head to Sam's house so Brady can fix your gameboy. Does that sound okay with you?"

Jayden nods and wraps and arm around Angela's, still covering her face with the hat. Angela sends me a soft smile as if to say, _don't worry, she's going to be fine_ , before following Emily to the Uley residence.

When they disappear into the house, Rachel falls slat on her back and all of her anger washes away. Shakily, Paul pulls her to her feet and asks, "What happened, baby? What was that about?"

"I-I don't know…" Jacob and Rebecca are at her other side, Quil taking the twins and Claire into the house when Rebecca leaves her spot. "It felt like I imprinted on her."

"What?" Paul's face morphed into one of shock, and then anger. "What the hell, Rachel?"

"You think I can control it? I'm the new alpha of this pack and now I have not one, but two imprints." She groans and rubs her shoulder, glaring up at him. "You didn't have to fucking tackle, me you dick head!"

"How could you imprint on someone else? How is this possible?" Paul looked like a kicked puppy as tears filled his eyes. "Am I not good enough?"

Rachel cupped his face with both of her hands, wiping his tears away as they dripped down his cheeks. "No, no, baby! I love you more than my own self. You know that." She crushed their lips together, and he melted into her in a way I understood full-heartedly. Pulling away, she says, "Relationships aren't always between two people, remember? If I had a bond with her than so do _you._ That's the only plausible answer."

"You're saying I'll have both you _and_ her?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." Rachel pulls Paul down the beach, most likely to have a more private conversation without onlookers, and the crowd goes back to the party as if nothing had happened.

With the situation finally over, anxiety hits me full force. I fiddle with my hands and try to stave off the panic festering in my stomach, but I already know it's a losing battle. Looking around, I see Embry next to Jared and Kim and try to catch his eye. When he looks up at me, it's as if he already knows, and he quickly says something to Jared before making his way over.

"What would you like to do, Bella?" He asks in a soft voice, hesitantly brushing his hand with mine. I grasp it tightly and taking in a deep breath, eyes filling with tears. I can barely think enough to give an answer. "How about we take a walk down the beach?"

With a shuddery, squeaky breath I say, "That sounds nice."

When we were far enough away from the group, I felt myself start to relax. The waves crashed on the shore and Embry's hand felt warm in mine. Felt safe, like home.

"You're getting better at taking yourself out of certain situations," Embry after a long bout of silence, and I shrugged impassively. "Don't sell yourself short, it's a large feat considering what you've been through."

"I only do it because I need to, not because I want to. Just to function normally is hard, you know? But if I can be kind to myself like this and try to stay away from triggers, then everything is much easier."

"You sleep better and eat better."

I scrunch up my nose in distaste, "You mean I eat better-tasting foods."

"Same difference," he ruffled my hair and chuckled at my furrowed brow. "I'm still proud of you. You're doing so good and it's inspiring, to say the least."

"You're just saying that," I exclaimed, batting at him with my hand.

"No! I would never," Embry chuckles as I pout before grabbing my face in his big hands. "I'm serious. You're strong and you're beautiful and I'm so lucky to have you, baby."

Nibbling at my lip, I exclaim, "It might take me a while to believe that."

"Then I'll show you how beautiful you are until you finally believe it," Embry whispers before leaning in and brushing our lips together. We lose ourselves in each other for a while, clutching tightly to each other almost afraid the other might disappear.

When we finally pulled away, he lets go of my face and leans down to grab my hand, a wide grin on his face.

"Come on, let's go back to the others. I think the party is starting up again."

And I followed him back to the party, just like I would follow him anywhere. Because he was Embry, because he was my home. He _was_ home.

* * *

Hours later, the summer heat has dissipated as it gets later and later. Everyone had come back to the party, sans Emily and the kids and Jayden, who Angela has dropped off before coming back for a few more hours. Currently, I sat on Embry's lap as I made my a s'more, sticking my tongue out in concentration. My anxiety was gone and all I could think of was eating the delicious treat and making another right after.

"You're burning it," Embry states as he leans up, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. His breath tickles my ear and I shy away, giggling. "It's going to melt right off that stick."

"It's almost ready."

"I think it's dead."

 _Five, four, three_ … I yanked the stick back and shove it between my graham cracker and chocolate. It squishes, melting the chocolate and making the perfect s'more imaginable. Embry grabs the stick from me as I shove the treat into my mouth, almost moaning with pleasure at the taste.

Turning to face Embry, I send him a clothed mouth smile. With a chuckle, he states, "You really take your s'more making seriously, don't you?" I swallow thickly, half wishing I had started on another one already, and give him a look.

"You don't?"

"I love you, dork," He pulls me down to kiss him, pulling back and laughing as my face flushes red.

"I love you too, cheesehead."

As we leaned in for another kiss, growls and tearing clothing fill the air. Lightning fast, Embry sets me down on the log and throws the stick down before running towards the noise. Two wolves attack each other at the edge of the campfire, and Angela and Rebecca watch gobsmacked.

"You fucking brats, stop fighting right now!" Rachel commands and like magic, they lie flat on the ground before rolling over and showing their bellies. As everyone crowds around the two boys, no one sees Rebecca as she starts to shake, eyes wide in fear.

Standing up, I run towards the two of them and screech, "Angela, RUN!" Rebecca growls, face already changing as I charge for them both. Angela doesn't question my words as she jets off in the opposite direction of Rebecca, leaping over the log like a gazelle. As I veer into her direction to follow, someone sweeps me up into their arms bridal style.

With wide eyes, I glance down and instantly relax as Embry looks up at me. "You okay, baby?" He asks me with a furrowed brow and I shrug. Glancing past me, he speeds up and exclaims, "Angela's down the beach. She doesn't look too bad."

And she wasn't, surprisingly. Instead of throwing up her lunch or going into shock, Angela just looks surprised. When Embry sets me on my feet, she looks me over and says, "That's why Rachel sounded like an animal, huh?"

"Mhm," I said with a shrug of my shoulders, nervous laughter coming out of my mouth as I played with my hands. "Guess the wolf's out of the bag."

Quil groaned from behind us somewhere. In seconds, Angela guffawed, having a laughing fit. Embry and I exchanged a nervous glance, and he mouthed, maybe she is in shock.

Five minutes later, Angela wipes her eyes and says breathlessly, "This night keeps getting crazier and crazier."

"You wouldn't believe how crazy it can get, believe me."

"What's next, are the Cullen's witches or something?"

Embry shrugged and raised an eyebrow, "Or something?" Angela's mouth opened immediately to know more, but I quickly raised a hand and shook my head, sending Embry a glare. He just smiled sheepishly.

"I'll tell you later. Right now, let's focus on Rebecca turning into a furball and why that is."

As the words leave my lips, Sam walks over to us, sighing with his whole chest. "We aren't able to get her to phase back, but she's asking for you, Angela. I think you may be able to calm her down"

"Is that safe?" Embry questions and Sam nods, rubbing his eyes.

"As long as she stays far enough away, everything should be fine." He looks down at Angela, gaze softening. "You don't have to if you don't want to. We'll understand if you run far away and never come back."

Taking in a shaky breath, Angela squares her shoulders and says, "Lead me to her."

Hand in hand, Angela and I follow Sam as he leads us to the newly phased wolf. Rebecca is smaller than Jacob, but not by much, and they share the same red fur. Another wolf sits next to her, looking identical. Rachel, I presumed.

"Oh my gosh," Angela whispered to herself as we come to a stop and I squeeze her hand, trying to send her all of my strength and support. "Is that Becca?"

"The one and only," Quil states, shoving a hotdog in his mouth. This was probably business as usual for them.

Angela quirked her head. "She's so pretty."

At her words, Becca's ears flicked and she looked up at her. When their eyes met, you could almost see the electricity zap in the air. The stress seemed to be too much, and reddish-brown wolf's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell on her side, knocked out cold. Angela slapped a hand to her chest, hard enough it would probably bruise, and tears started to fall down her cheeks.

"W-what was that? What just happened?" She looked over at me and sobbed deep in her chest. "What the heck was that, Bella?"

Embry sucked in a breath, "Did she just-"

Seth cut him off, moving to stand beside him. "I think she did."

"What did she do? What happened?" Angela demanded and I let go of her hand to wrap an arm around her. "Tell me what happened now."

Paul stood up, picking his teeth with a toothpick, "She imprinted on you."

"Which is _what_?" Her face was becoming red, anger or frustration I didn't know, but I hoped and prayed that Paul didn't stick his foot in his mouth on this one.

"It's how we find our soulmates, romantic or otherwise." Angela opened and closed her mouth a few times, unable to find words. I hugged her tighter and felt her relax into my side, listening to his words intently. "Now most of us have imprinted, but only because of our ranking in the pack. Rebecca is of direct descent from the alpha, so she of course would. Rachel is the oldest and our alpha, and apparently has _two_ imprints somehow." He said the words somewhat bitterly and I felt a bit empathetic for him. "And Rebecca now is bonded to you for life. Whether as a best friend or a lover, whatever you _both_ choose. But it's yours and no one will fault you in both being with other people, because sometimes that happens in life."

Silence washed over us as the gears turned in Angela's head. Glancing up, I caught Embry's gaze and didn't feel the immediate fear or anger from the thought if imprinting. Knowing he would never do that had solidified our bond, and I was grateful for that.

When she finally spoke again, she said, "She and I are going to have a long talk about things, I _think_ ," Her words slurred at the end and she started blinked rapidly. As Angela started to sway, I tried to keep her as steady as I can, but my strength was starting to give. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pass out now."

And then she did so, right in my arms.


End file.
